I need some help making a life decision.

#26
#26
BigOrangeMojo said:
The bigger spiritual issue would be going into debt to finance a gender reveal. If you are plopping it on a credit card, you are blatantly going against biblical principles (the borrower is slave to the lender)...
Click to expand...
A lesson to all youngsters coming into adult life. Especially into relationships. We have paid off and re-violated that principle more than once. Debt and its stresses changes life into things that were not intended.
 
  • Like
Reactions: walkenvol, orangebloodgmc and jhcrane14
#28
#28
While I'm not someone who would want to know myself until birth and not a fan of gender reveals...I think you should let your wife have this win. It's something fun to her and in the long run isn't something worth worrying about. I understand your Biblical concerns though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Go aeiou and jhcrane14
#30
#30
jhcrane14 said:
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
Click to expand...

My wife and I have three boys. The bookends are adopted. The oldest at birth, the youngest at 7 y.o. The middle boy is the bioboy.

We did not know the sex of either of the oldest children. It was a joy to us to have the surprise of finding out whether we were having a boy or a girl on the day of delivery. We had plenty of shower gifts that were more neutral - browns, greens, plenty of orange 😁. Our nursery was ocean-themed. Lots of murals of fish, fish sheets, fish lamps, light up aquarium night lights. There is plenty out there that is sex-neutral. Obviously, based on the surprise factor, I am so very happy with our choice to not demand sex identification.

However, I don't get into the theology of it. God created my children in His image. He knit them in their (respective) bio-moms wombs. Our decision was based purely on the joy of the reveal in the room, looking in each other's eyes and agreeing on a name. We got to pick male and female names. What fun we had for weeks going back and forth! (In addition to not knowing sex, we didn't tell anyone our chosen names, boy or girl, until the child arrived. We are such sticks-in-the-mud!) We got to imagine a world with a daughter and a son. We got to share our news as a surprise at the moment of independent life, and that was so much fun!

Ours is not the only way, but I am glad we chose it. We have parented the same way. WE make the decisions for our children. We don't let others. We have gotten a lot of grief from others about what we allow (freedom!) and what we hold fast (consequences!) We let our kids live. They know the joy of being free with the pain of living with the results of their decisions.

Long term - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just do what you want to do for you and for your wife, whatever others think doesn't matter a bit.

(Except for my thoughts, of course. They matter. You should wait to find out in the delivery room. It is so much fun!)

Congratulations on the best thing you will ever do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pennheel and jhcrane14
#31
#31
jhcrane14 said:
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
Click to expand...

What scripture are you referencing? In what way would you be trusting science over God? God is not telling you the baby's gender, so science wouldn't be telling you anything that you would be trusting over God.

Make your wife happy. God is a loving Father who I don't think would ever take something like this as spitting in His face. He wants you guys to be happy, have fun, and celebrate our families, just like any Father would. This is a wholesome, Godly event, unless you do it in some unwholesome way.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: TheycallmePops, Pennheel, orangebloodgmc and 1 other person
#32
#32
Also, I just want to say as a PSA, science doesn't have to feel like a threat to Christianity. Every Christian will admit there are parts of the Bible that are meant to be literal, and others that are meant to be figurative. If a scientific discovery refutes something that you believe about the Bible, it doesn't mean that either science or the Bible is wrong. It might just mean your interpretation of the Bible is wrong, and you can use science to better understand your religion. Science says the earth is old? Bible says it was created in 7 days? OK, then maybe days aren't literal days, they're just 7 periods of time.

Science and the Bible can co-exist.
 
  • Like
Reactions: volmanjr, Tin Man, EasternVol and 4 others
#33
#33
n_huffhines said:
Also, I just want to say as a PSA, science doesn't have to feel like a threat to Christianity. Every Christian will admit there are parts of the Bible that are meant to be literal, and others that are meant to be figurative. If a scientific discovery refutes something that you believe about the Bible, it doesn't mean that either science or the Bible is wrong. It might just mean your interpretation of the Bible is wrong, and you can use science to better understand your religion. Science says the earth is old? Bible says it was created in 7 days? OK, then maybe days aren't literal days, they're just 7 periods of time.

Science and the Bible can co-exist.
Click to expand...
1778035503895.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tin Man, jhcrane14 and orangebloodgmc
#34
#34
jhcrane14 said:
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
Click to expand...
Late to thread, but where are you reading that?
 
  • Like
Reactions: jhcrane14
#37
#37
jhcrane14 said:
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
Click to expand...
Are you sure you want this advice? You’d really consider your wife was spitting in God’s face? That has to be the most absurd things I’ve ever heard. Take it from a reformed fundamentalist; abandon that nonsensical thinking.

Ultrasounds aren’t just used for gender, but to reveal potential issues with the developing child. Are you going to forego those as well?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Go aeiou, Pennheel and jhcrane14
#40
#40
n_huffhines said:
Also, I just want to say as a PSA, science doesn't have to feel like a threat to Christianity. Every Christian will admit there are parts of the Bible that are meant to be literal, and others that are meant to be figurative. If a scientific discovery refutes something that you believe about the Bible, it doesn't mean that either science or the Bible is wrong. It might just mean your interpretation of the Bible is wrong, and you can use science to better understand your religion. Science says the earth is old? Bible says it was created in 7 days? OK, then maybe days aren't literal days, they're just 7 periods of time.

Science and the Bible can co-exist.
Click to expand...
You remind me of a conversation that I had with my grandmother in my youth. She asked me, do you question the bible?

I replied, we revere the prophets of G-d, but they were human and received the messages of G-d and tried to understand them with human minds in the context of their earthly experience. As we do, they perceived a day as one of our earthly experience, rotating in orbit around the sun. Did not G-d create the earth? What was a day to G-d when making creation? Is not the universe vast? Do not the myriad of planets experience days different to our own? Should we not be awed by the vastness of the universe (G-d’s creation)? Should we not read the scriptures with humility?

She looked at me and shook her head, smiling to herself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: volmanjr, jhcrane14 and Pennheel
#41
#41
Ritzwatch said:
My wife and I have three boys. The bookends are adopted. The oldest at birth, the youngest at 7 y.o. The middle boy is the bioboy.

We did not know the sex of either of the oldest children. It was a joy to us to have the surprise of finding out whether we were having a boy or a girl on the day of delivery. We had plenty of shower gifts that were more neutral - browns, greens, plenty of orange 😁. Our nursery was ocean-themed. Lots of murals of fish, fish sheets, fish lamps, light up aquarium night lights. There is plenty out there that is sex-neutral. Obviously, based on the surprise factor, I am so very happy with our choice to not demand sex identification.

However, I don't get into the theology of it. God created my children in His image. He knit them in their (respective) bio-moms wombs. Our decision was based purely on the joy of the reveal in the room, looking in each other's eyes and agreeing on a name. We got to pick male and female names. What fun we had for weeks going back and forth! (In addition to not knowing sex, we didn't tell anyone our chosen names, boy or girl, until the child arrived. We are such sticks-in-the-mud!) We got to imagine a world with a daughter and a son. We got to share our news as a surprise at the moment of independent life, and that was so much fun!

Ours is not the only way, but I am glad we chose it. We have parented the same way. WE make the decisions for our children. We don't let others. We have gotten a lot of grief from others about what we allow (freedom!) and what we hold fast (consequences!) We let our kids live. They know the joy of being free with the pain of living with the results of their decisions.

Long term - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just do what you want to do for you and for your wife, whatever others think doesn't matter a bit.

(Except for my thoughts, of course. They matter. You should wait to find out in the delivery room. It is so much fun!)

Congratulations on the best thing you will ever do.
Click to expand...
Isn't that kinda the way God designed parenting with foundational teaching for them to return to?? I only have the one bioboy as you put it. My oldest is my step son. And he will say without hesitation I was more of a father than his own. We gave a long leash with mine. Did not bind him where he had not wandered off to begin with. Taught him the principals. Did not shy from conversations and hte dreaded life advice. Kept him associated with it. He accepted and put it on in his terms. He and his girlfriend attend regular on their own accord. He's a hard head to deal with on occasion, but he doesn't drink, never did anything, never been in trouble, never came home out of sorts, kept his own reasonable curfew. Prob rasied himself more than anything. Maybe it's just luck and God blessed me cause I saw friends (and nieces and nephews) go buck wild in strict homes and liberal homes alike. And knew great friends that came from hopeless homes. (I have a nephew that refuses to have kids so he can break the cycle). I just felt the teachings were there to understand my job was not to force and enforce but to teach and advise and provide a foundation for him to make his choices. And if/when ncessary to "correct" until he was of age to be his own. He earned his freedoms he had early on and we gave him the respect for that.
 
#42
#42
Gender reveals are stupid (and occasionally somebody gets killed) but I have learned that you can't really stop a woman from doing what she wants. You only get to choose whether or not to be married to her and that's the only choice you get.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jhcrane14 and Pennheel
New Posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

Advertisement



Back
Top