Windy's football discussion thread.

Mel Tucker! You’ve signed one of the richest contracts in all of collegiate sports! What are you going to do?

Mel: I’ve become obsessed with the fine young woman who has been teaching our student athletes about sexual assault and harassment. I’ve been pursuing an intimate relationship with her despite her lack of enthusiasm for it. I had it all, and I screwed the pooch, man.
 
If only… Reports out of Tuscaloosa indicate that University of Alabama Head Football Coach, Nick Saban is wanted for exposing himself while abusing a Little Debbie stand-up in-store display. The coach has not been seen since the reports surfaced. University spokespersons have been tight-lipped. Law enforcement says only that they do not comment on ongoing investigations. The Crimson Tide football team practices are closed to the press. Cornered in a parking lot, Coach Holmon Wiggins said, “Coach Saban is fine. The team is preparing for our upcoming game. Other than that, I have no comment.”
 
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