Official Gramps' Memorial Eternal OT Thread

#60,226
#60,226
Last cruise I took was about 25 years ago. A buddy of mine and I decided to go on a three day cruise to the Bahamas to meet girls.

We were initially thwarted in that goal by the fact that, of the 1500 passengers on the ship, turns out 1200 of then were aluminum siding salesmen and their families who had been given the trip as a bonus from their employers.

Second to the last night, in one of the little bars, we finally met a group of single women our age (late 20s to mid 30s). Unfortunately for the both of us, they were there having won their trips by winning some sort of contest on a Christian rock radio station in Dallas.

Even worse for my buddy, he's Jewish.
 
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#60,227
#60,227
hog88 said:
Yep, forgot that although the last one we went on they didn't do the full drill just had the groups of muster stations go to the theater and watch a video.
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I remember the last cruise I went on, there were some people standing in front of us at the muster station while some non-native English speaker was trying to explain how to orderly get on a lifeboat, and they asked if we wanted to get closer, so we could hear. I politely declined and said if the ship is sinking, it would be everyone for themselves, and it wouldn't be that organized.
 
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#60,228
#60,228
lawgator1 said:
Last cruise I took was about 25 years ago. A buddy of mine and I decided to go on a three day cruise to the Bahamas to meet girls.

We were initially thwarted in that goal by the fact that, of the 1500 passengers on the ship, turns out 1200 of then were aluminum siding salesmen and their families who had been given the trip as a bonus from their employers.

Second to the last night, in one of the little bars, we finally met a group of single women our age (late 20s to mid 30s). Unfortunately for the both of us, they were there having won their trips by winning some sort of contest on a Christian rock radio station in Dallas.

Even worse for my buddy, he's Jewish.
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You and Slice went on a cruise together?
 
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#60,229
#60,229
McDad said:
I'll take yall on a week long canoe trip and provide bologna sammiches 2x per day. All for the low price of $799 per person. Shore excursions, aka bathroom stops, included at no extra fee.
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43gmlc.jpg
 
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#60,235
#60,235
lawgator1 said:
Last cruise I took was about 25 years ago. A buddy of mine and I decided to go on a three day cruise to the Bahamas to meet girls.

We were initially thwarted in that goal by the fact that, of the 1500 passengers on the ship, turns out 1200 of then were aluminum siding salesmen and their families who had been given the trip as a bonus from their employers.

Second to the last night, in one of the little bars, we finally met a group of single women our age (late 20s to mid 30s). Unfortunately for the both of us, they were there having won their trips by winning some sort of contest on a Christian rock radio station in Dallas.

Even worse for my buddy, he's Jewish.
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Why didn't you and your buddy book a singles cruise???

Or a swinger's cruise???

C'mon, Gator.
 
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#60,240
#60,240
hog88 said:
I'm not a crowd guy and It's gotten better over the years but I remember my 1st cruise. At embarkation they herded everyone to the Lido deck while the staff was still getting rooms ready so it was crowded as hell. I kept thinking that if everyday was like this there was no fing way I was going to make it 7 days. Then 2-3 hours later they let people go to their rooms and I never felt crowded again the whole cruise.
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Yep. Boarding at start and deboarding at end are zoos. In between is quite a bit of fun.
 
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#60,241
#60,241
marcusluvsvols said:
What cruise line are yall taking Grand? We have been on Royal, Norwegian, and Carnival...eastern and western Caribbean cruises.

Royal and Norwegian were both great. Carnival is not so much in our opinion..

Eastern and Western were both nice. Favorite place on either,? Cozumel, mexico.

Least favorite? Jamaica. Its a sheithole...i have heard that if you stay at a COMPLETELY inclusive resort in jamaica...so that you never. Ever have to deal with pushy azzhole jamaicans except on the rides from airport>resort and resort>airport...then...Jamaica is decent. But that would be true of literally anywhere in the entire Caribbean that someone could buy a little beachfront and build an all inclusive resort. With armed guards. 24-7. So the only sheitty part about jamaica was the jamaicans...oh, and jamaica itself. And the police who blamed me because someone stole my wallet that i left wrapped up inside my shirt, beneath my towel while i was in the ocean directly in front of said towel. Still have no idea how they did it...but they are pros. Thats ALL the thieves there do...steal from tourists, mug tourists, pick pockets etc. Bout like Chicago or Detroit after dark...except in broad daylight and with many other folks complicit. Couldnt pay me to go back to that sheithole. Nearly threw hands a couple times before we even made it to the beach because the locals were so aggressive trying to sell their chinese trinkets that they actually put their hands on my wife..which made her scared (and scared of me getting locked up there) then finally get to a decent beach and get jacked for my wallet with over 500 in cash, my boarding pass card for the ship, my license, soc security card...everything. local cops treating me like sheit and basically telling me it was my fault that my stuff got stolen because i didnt take it in the ocean with me to get ruined. Straight up. Jamaican cops said it wasnt safe to leave belongings on the beach even if you can see them from the water...and i should have known that. I am sure they get plenty of repeat tourism with that mindset.
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That agrees pretty much with our opinions, too. Jamaica was a real disappointment - a place I'd always wanted to see, and it's just like you said. Carnival was our least favorite, but still enjoyable. It's hard to rate cruise lines because the first cruises were much more inclusive, and now stuff you used to take for granted comes at a price. I guess it's like everything else these days. I haven't priced anything in a few years, but my first choice would be to skip the cruise and find a nice place in French Polynesia - Moorea and Bora Bora were great. The beaches and water are fantastic, and the temperature is far more comfortable than the Caribbean.
 
#60,243
#60,243
marcusluvsvols said:
Carnival is the party cruise line. Not really good for family/kids like we have...but yall will have a blast. Mostly singles and young couples there to party.

We want to fly into Cozumel and stay for a week. We went all over the island, and almost EVERY stretch of beach you can simply walk out to chest deep water and look down thru the perfectly clear water and there are coral and tropical fish EVERYWHERE. best snorkeling anywhere in the Caribbean we went.

Pro tip" take a pool noodle (or 2) and a snorkel/mask for each of you. Walmart stuff works fine. Every fish at the tropical fish store is out there at cozumel. Clown fish like in Finding Nemo are everywhere. Also, there are American restaurants in the shopping area on cozumel. Beer is cheap too for a tourist area..

Yall are gonna have a blast man.

Edit: i really like to snorkel man. The pool noodle goes across your chest and back thru your armpits. Wore a mask sans snorkel and floated around checking out different reefs/fish with a cold beer(s) in my hand nearly all day. Both times we had a day in cozumel. Just lazy way of relaxing in paradise while drinking cold beer. Wish i was there now lol...also, yall might not need a noodle. I am a sinker. Have always been. Pool noodle keeps me afloat so i can lounge like a flounder with zero effort. If yall naturally float, you might not need one.
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Definite on the pool noodle or a vest made for snorkeling. I found out I don't float well anymore ... or swim that well either. A regular life vest is too bulky, but just a little buoyancy makes the whole process easier and more enjoyable.
 
#60,246
#60,246
hog88 said:
I don't know what you are referring to.
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In the Grimm series there was an episode about the Mexican wrestling masks. The guy got one that ensured wins, and it took control of him. The basic selling your soul to the devil kind of thing.
 
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#60,249
#60,249
Grand Vol said:
She, uh, booked the spa package...
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I could have guessed. Be warned: they sell all those massage oils and other stuff at a premium; and if SSC is like my wife, she just might decide she needs more massages, pedicures, and on and on. But if she's happy ...
 
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