Official Gramps' Memorial Eternal OT Thread

#57,882
#57,882
I better go buy a stoggie
I see a brand called a Monica Special Roll
Slightly used but still smokable
 
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#57,894
#57,894
So one of my chores today on my “vacation” was to change out the over the range microwave. Not a problem, easy 20 minute project right? Well no, damn near burned the place down.

I’m smart so I put some towels over the glass top range so I don’t scratch it. I’m dumb because I didn’t turn the breaker off for the range and at some point my very tiny belly must have turned on one of the eyes. Got done and slave master said she was taking me out for a treat, after I got out of the shower I thought I smelled something burning. Yep, I was so excited about getting a treat I didn’t take the towels off the stovetop. So naked man runs smoldering towels out to the deck to save the day. I didn’t get a treat.
 
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#57,895
#57,895
hog88 said:
So one of my chores today on my “vacation” was to change out the over the range microwave. Not a problem, easy 20 minute project right? Well no, damn near burned the place down.

I’m smart so I put some towels over the glass top range so I don’t scratch it. I’m dumb because I didn’t turn the breaker off for the range and at some point my very tiny belly must have turned on one of the eyes. Got done and slave master said she was taking me out for a treat, after I got out of the shower I thought I smelled something burning. Yep, I was so excited about getting a treat I didn’t take the towels off the stovetop. So naked man runs smoldering towels out to the deck to save the day. I didn’t get a treat.
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#57,896
#57,896
You wanna talk idiot..Iam your man, Bout burnt my Mom's house down as a kid.
Threw a Pizza Hut pizza leftover , non sans box, for heating in an oven. Of course it caught fire and smoke was filling the house.
So my reaction was to remove such fire and smoke and discard out through the dining room and throw on the concrete pati just a dozen steps away
Dang box fell apart as I carried it across the kitchen and into the dining room as I tried to discard.
Had fire on the floor in the kitchen and dining room and somehow on the wall in the dining room leading to the patio.
Panic time so bust out the FE..sure enough that blast threw flaming box everywhere.

I am not being hyperbolic, but that was nuts.

Afterwards my only thought..how do I make this seem like it never happened when my Mom gets home. That FE discharge was everywhere and cleaned that up, it wasn't possible to hide the fire damage..which really wasn't bad. Burns on wall, kitchen floor damage which was very minor, wood floor damage on dining room which had to be replaced entirely, and repaint of patio flooring.

I may be an idiot..my Mom still loves me.
 
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#57,897
#57,897
Orangeburst said:
You wanna talk idiot..Iam your man, Bout burnt my Mom's house down as a kid.
Threw a Pizza Hut pizza leftover , non sans box, for heating in an oven. Of course it caught fire and smoke was filling the house.
So my reaction was to remove such fire and smoke and discard out through the dining room and throw on the concrete pati just a dozen steps away
Dang box fell apart as I carried it across the kitchen and into the dining room as I tried to discard.
Had fire on the floor in the kitchen and dining room and somehow on the wall in the dining room leading to the patio.
Panic time so bust out the FE..sure enough that blast threw flaming box everywhere.

I am not being hyperbolic, but that was nuts.

Afterwards my only thought..how do I make this seem like it never happened when my Mom gets home. That FE discharge was everywhere and cleaned that up, it wasn't possible to hide the fire damage..which really wasn't bad. Burns on wall, kitchen floor damage which was very minor, wood floor damage on dining room which had to be replaced entirely, and repaint of patio flooring.

I may be an idiot..my Mom still loves me.
Click to expand...
But… did you eat the pizza or let it go to waste?
 
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