The Bah Humbug Thread

#30
#30
Joe been fantasizing about his cousins, watching midget porn and he's a closet GA fan, but standing under cars so he can look up women's dresses when they get in they car in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot is just turrble.

It's turrble!
 
#32
#32
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Florida Christmas Day
That's the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway
 
#33
#33
Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near
He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand years
He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover his buns
He hates to admit it, but Xmas is more work than fun

He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow
Mr. Claus has a has escape plans, a secret that only he knows
Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his dreams
A break from his wife, half-frozen in life
The elves and that damn reindeer team

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum
 
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#35
#35
Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good
He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood
Just for the weekend he's like to be Peter Pan
Get out of his long johns and dance with a sword in the sand

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum
Snata's off to the Caribbean
Marimbas, calimbas, he's playing steel drums
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum
Santa's off to the Caribbean
A week in the tropics and he'll be alright
Sporting a tan as he rides out of sight

Merry Christmas to all and to all good night
 
#39
#39
Is it just me or is "Little Saint Nick" one of the dumbest Christmas songs ever? I mean repeating over and over "Christmas comes this time each year" is the definition of No sh-t sherlock
 
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#50
#50
Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dude
And has name was Santa Claus, y'know? And he used to live over in the
Projects with his old lady, and they had a pretty good thing together
Because his old lady was really fine, and she could cook and all that
Stuff like that, y'know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man!
Oh, I could remember 'em now, man. I could eat one of 'em, man...
 
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