Random, Thoughts, X,XXIV

#4,505
#4,505
tnuhcvols said:
What if your dog one day just randomly said, "nobody is going to believe you" then never spoke again.
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I remember a joke along those lines.

Guy had a talking dog he was trying to sell. A guy comes over to check the dog out and he's telling all of these stories about when he was a K9 special agent in the CIA and how he knew where Hoffa was and who really killed JFK....on and on.

The guy said this is amazing, why in the world are you selling him.

Dude says he's a liar.
 
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#4,506
#4,506
Yea, its not that funny and I may be missing part of it, but that's why I've never told it. :)
 
#4,507
#4,507
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep" the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars" the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
 
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#4,508
#4,508
Lulz. Yea, I knew I was missing something. To be fair, that's exactly why I don't tell it. :)
 
#4,517
#4,517
508mikey said:
I know a semi driver that will gladly do that for you
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I wish I had the balls to say F it and move out there. You know? Only get one life here on earth. Always wondered what it would be like somewhere like Montana, Colorado, Utah or Alaska.

Always scared to uproot and move to Florida, but I did it and happy I did.

Don't want to get too old to do anything and look back and have a bunch of regrets. And I don't mean regretting things I did, I mean regretting things I didn't.

Blah blah blah. Pictures of Montana are breath taking.
 
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