Official Jon Gruden Thread 30

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#2,754
#2,754
Grand Vol said:
The Grude News, the morning edition. For those just joining us...

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Well, we managed to make it like at least...a while without a catastrophic meltdown since the last update. Which is a good thing considering how regularly scheduled the crazy was the past few weeks. And of course, by saying that I probably invited the crazy to roll back in. My bad in advance.

I will hand it to the Beaver, he stepped up and helped Vols in need via this forum. Most places call that a righteous dude. Bravo sir. And it spurred additional posters stepping up to help those in need. Whether or not folks think us crazy for believing in the Gruden, we are a community that will help each other without hesitation.

Though the Night Shift has been slacking as of late. Only a hundred posts or so last night after midnight. Shame on you people. And you call yourselves Grudenites... We should get Escape Goat in here to teach you all how to do it. What's that? EG is missing too? Well, this is awkward...

Speaking of awkward. The whole ESPN truck thing just didn't pan out. Even truck drivers have to have a place to spend the night, folks. Let's dial the Hardy Boys adventures back juuuuuuust a tad. There's a fine line between fun and excessive creepy bunny boiler status. Some of ya'll are straddling that line.

We got onto a Pokemon Go conversation somehow. And it got slightly odd. We'll leave it at that, but I will say someone's mod campaign should be put on hold until it's determined if he's actually joking about being over 30 and playing Pokemon Go.

Last full day for Doyle's poor, battered Grudometer. It's already put out a Craigslist ad seeking a new home and promised to upgrade its announcement music to something other than the Spice Girls when Gruden is announced. The Grudometer has suggested possibly "counseling" and time apart without an official separation.

No real updates from any of our regular info sources. DTO, Boro, SC, Beaver and Atlanta have all gone into deep silence mode. From lack of info? Maybe. I'll remain positive and say "no news is good news" for the status of the hunt.

In other news today, it was announced voice overs for the forum posting will be put on indefinite hold due to the ongoing strike of actors contracted for the positions. Actor Samuel L. Jackson was quoted as saying "Why the **** does this stupid **** keep saying ****ing asterisk when I plainly ****ing say ****?!" Sandra Bullock, voicing for SmokingBob, was released from her contract for repeating "that gaudy orange is not in my color wheel" at the end of every post. Also, Gerard Butler was puzzled by his representation of Comb and having to use his King Leonidas voice for every post of "Gruden...to...the...Hill!"

Additionally, actors were complaining of harassment by several of their online counterparts. Justin Beiber made the statement "it's hard to get everything down right when that Behr guy is pounding on your door at all hours yelling 'I just wanna be friends! We can hang out!' It's not that I don't want this gig, but I really can't take that pressure." Additionally, James Earl Jones said his lines were "too bland" and asked why he was limited to only saying "You just made the list" in his Darth Vader voice for nearly every post.

Furthermore, Chris Hemsworth walked off the set when Volly and SFD were found violating their restraining orders and were discovered hiding behind potted plants with large cheesy grins. Security escorted the pair out of the studio, but not before noting "potted plants typically don't move under their own power from place to place nor do they giggle." Negotiations were ongoing and an additional battalion of security was ordered before the cost overrides put a hold on the project.

From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!








(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)
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chris jericho should be the voice for preacherwebb posting you just made the list gifs ...
 
#2,755
#2,755
Boca Vol said:
That's probably for the best unless you want that smell lingering in your house for a week. With that said, I usually bake it in the oven. :)
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The smoke is unique and what makes it so great. And you don't cook it like regular bacon. You don't want it overdone. It doesn't get crispy, it gets tough and hard if you overdo it. Baking it is a good bet. For folks in the area, they usually have it at the Horn of Plenty market in Maryville.
 
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#2,756
#2,756
Based on everything everyone is saying about Haslam wanting to keep Butch around I am not sure I could vote for him with a good conscience.
 
#2,757
#2,757
amarcus07 said:
i will personally give the university the following gifts-in-kind for a dino babers hire:

my 3rd and 5th grade year books (not 4th, i looked dang good)


I will agree that you were a cute kid in fourth grade.
Shame that everything else has been an awkward phase.
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#2,758
#2,758
1725gatorhater said:
BS alert, BS alert, BS alert. Either you or people telling you is laughing after they told you all that nonsense. I don’t see all these improvements to have a sh!ty coach. They want a full stadium with full participation... nah don’t see it.
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I would believe it to be more along the lines of Currie knowing he needs to keep Butch the rest of the season and with important people wanting him out now and the booster power struggle thats its turned into a s***show.

Best thing Currie can do is unify everyone behind the scenes to support Butch for the next few weeks until we get through the season in hopes we make a bowl game.

I would believe that more than wanting to retain Butch for next season.
 
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#2,759
#2,759
Actually regarding Sexton, if we’re going all conspiracy theory on this thing:
Sexton is a UT alum. Has rep’d all our most recent coaches. Maybe since UT is trying to go in a different direction, they are allowing Sexton to push Mullen to 1) get him a better contract somewhere else, and 2) thicken the smokescreen.
 
#2,760
#2,760
Rizzo924 said:
Interesting (& a positive) that Beaver credits Haslam in this tweet!
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I noticed that too. Beaver is a heck of a negotiator/influencer. When negotiating, you always start with a complement. It's breaks down the tension immediately. If he said, Haslam is a moron for letting Sexton get his claws into him, then that shuts down communication. Flattery is always the way to go.
 
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#2,761
#2,761
Volsfaninva917 said:
No, actually I'm not. But I'll bet if he was screaming about being 80% Gruden is coming here you would all be dialed in.
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No, i only actually believe people like swain, whos actually played and does have connections.. not a person whos trying to get ratings. And who's wrong 80% of the time.
 
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#2,763
#2,763
Vfl2407 said:
I will agree that you were a cute kid in fourth grade.
Shame that everything else has been an awkward phase.
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hey i appreciate that! if you've got a daughter that's college age or above that is lookin' for an awkward guy, i live in austin, tx!
 
#2,764
#2,764
river rat said:
the smoke is unique and what makes it so great. And you don't cook it like regular bacon. You don't want it overdone. It doesn't get crispy, it gets tough and hard if you overdo it. Baking it is a good bet. For folks in the area, they usually have it at the horn of plenty market in maryville.
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350*?
 
#2,765
#2,765
newyorkvol said:
Actually regarding Sexton, if we’re going all conspiracy theory on this thing:
Sexton is a UT alum. Has rep’d all our most recent coaches. Maybe since UT is trying to go in a different direction, they are allowing Sexton to push Mullen to 1) get him a better contract somewhere else, and 2) thicken the smokescreen.
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Sexton is the Finnebaum of agents. Hates his Alma Mater
 
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#2,767
#2,767
Reformed Reader said:
Based on everything everyone is saying about Haslam wanting to keep Butch around I am not sure I could vote for him with a good conscience.
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I dont know how any Vol fan with a pulse could support another year of Butch. But, maybe the Haslams enjoy losing. Look at the Browns. And look at the Vols. Every team they touch is a disaster.
 
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#2,768
#2,768
If Jones stays i will have to become a Clemson fan. I hate to say that but my wife works for the firm that represents the university.
 
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#2,770
#2,770
G8rh8r said:
I noticed that too. Beaver is a heck of a negotiator/influencer. When negotiating, you always start with a complement. It's breaks down the tension immediately. If he said, Haslam is a moron for letting Sexton get his claws into him, then that shuts down communication. Flattery is always the way to go.
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Dale Carnegie?:)
 
#2,771
#2,771
Reformed Reader said:
Based on everything everyone is saying about Haslam wanting to keep Butch around I am not sure I could vote for him with a good conscience.
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Well, he’s 86 years old.....so, there’s that.
I know it’s hard to keep up.
But, my understanding is that the old Daddy is the one that calls the shots at UT. He goes by Big Jim. He’s not in politics.
One of his sons, Jimmy owns the Browns.
Son Bill is our current Governor.
Had considered running for Corkers vacating Senate seat but has instead decided he wants to be UT Pres when DiPietro retires.

Did I get that correct, any With Haslam family knowledge?
 
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#2,772
#2,772
aredfox28 said:
No, i only actually believe people like swain, whos actually played and does have connections.. not a person whos trying to get ratings. And who's wrong 80% of the time.
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When it comes to future coaches yes I agree with you, Tony has no connections in that department. He mostly speculates there. However when it comes to internal information within the AD, he's pretty well connected. Him and Swain share information, if you ask Swain he would tell you.
 
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#2,774
#2,774
volfan1631 said:
When someone has to give an "Everything is fine" speech, everything is not fine and has not been for a while.
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The speech was obviously to keep the staff motivated for the last three games to finish strong. Pretty SOP for situations like the UTAD finds itself in right now. Basically, telling them to keep earning those checks we sign for you until we no longer need your services.
 
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