Drae Bowles

#276
#276
ImportedVoL said:
I am not condoning rape in ANY way... but to teach women that they have zero accountability in these situations only puts future women in danger. Making them think they should be able to act or dress, or get as drunk as they want with no fear of what can happen to them. Is only going to perpetuate the problem, because it will keep happening over and over and over.

The men need to be taught to accept no AND not engage with women who would put themselves in these situations, because they are crazy to act the way they are..

And the women need to be taught to protect themselves by not putting themselves in situations like these to begin with.

There is no excuse for rape...BUT...you also do not cover yourself in blood and then jump into a pool of hungry sharks and expect not to get eaten.

Ladies protect yourselves, because men are animals.
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This is really damn upsetting. Really, really upsetting. And even more upsetting is that this opinion is held by so many people. Men, in this scenario, are bloodthirsty sharks who cannot help themselves, just because of how a woman is dressed? And the woman is at fault?
 
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#277
#277
crusse10 said:
This is really damn upsetting. Really, really upsetting. And even more upsetting is that this opinion is held by so many people. Men, in this scenario, are bloodthirsty sharks who cannot help themselves, just because of how a woman is dressed? And the woman is at fault?
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You should be upset. The truth is that when sitting in a McDonald's, you have no idea what the workers or other customers are capable of doing or may have done. Same goes for college age men too.

Don't dump your outrage on those that recognize this, place it on the ones that make this reality, the perp. Rape is rarely about the victim, it's about the perp.

Wrong place at the wrong time.
 
#278
#278
Iam4utalways said:
You should be upset. The truth is that when sitting in a McDonald's, you have no idea what the workers or other customers are capable of doing or may have done. Same goes for college age men too.

Don't dump your outrage on those that recognize this, place it on the ones that make this reality, the perp. Rape is rarely about the victim, it's about the perp.

Wrong place at the wrong time.
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Oh come on. The dude said that raped women have no accountability and are stupid

*crazy, not stupid, my bad
 
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#279
#279
crusse10 said:
This is really damn upsetting. Really, really upsetting. And even more upsetting is that this opinion is held by so many people. Men, in this scenario, are bloodthirsty sharks who cannot help themselves, just because of how a woman is dressed? And the woman is at fault?
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ImportedVoL's shark comment is part of the problem. People who make comments like that are the people I warn my daughter about.

Also I have been around many a drunk women after 2am, myself drunk, partying, etc., and guess what? No one got sexually assaulted.
 
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#280
#280
Ok, now I'm not sure what his intent was.
I originally took it as "you can't tell good from bad just by appearances and some people are evil, take precaution". Which I agree with.

If it was "raped women are to blame" then obviously ugh.

Think I will just wait to see if he wants to explain before commenting further.
 
#281
#281
Looks to me like his entire post boils down to "women shouldn't do what men get to do (drink, get drunk, go out, party, dress how they'd like) because men can't help themselves and will just have to rape them"
 
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#282
#282
Vol Karma said:
ImportedVoL's shark comment is part of the problem. People who make comments like that are the people I warn my daughter about.

Also I have been around many a drunk women after 2am, myself drunk, partying, etc., and guess what? No one got sexually assaulted.
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maybe said drunk girls did not have intentions on sleeping with you in the first place.
 
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#284
#284
crusse10 said:
Looks to me like his entire post boils down to "women shouldn't do what men get to do (drink, get drunk, go out, party, dress how they'd like) because men can't help themselves and will just have to rape them"
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Please.....his intent was pretty clear. He was in no way blaming the woman. He prefaced it with an example. Don't turn what he was saying into something else.

Edit: My bad....I was reading charger vols reply.
 
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#285
#285
jp1 said:
Please.....his intent was pretty clear. He was in no way blaming the woman. He prefaced it with an example. Don't turn what he was saying into something else.
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He actually prefaced with "I am not condoning rape in ANY way... but"

That's no different than "I'm not racist, but" or "I'm not sexist, but"

see: racist
see: sexist
see: putting fault of rapes on victims
 
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#286
#286
It doesn't matter how a woman was dressed or if she was drinking or where she was. Why? Because rape is not about sex. It's about power. It doesn't mean all men are animals because obviously 99% of men would never even consider such a thing. It also doesn't mean that women have to be "perfect little ladies" and stay safely at home out of fear. There are plenty of ladies who stay at home and. end up victimized by some predator.

The fact of the matter is that text messages before the fact do not establish anything other thsn communication between the girl and the guy. That's it. Think about it. If text messages were taken as "proof of intent" then what would all of us be guilty of? I threatened to kill my scummy ex-SIL via text once after he raped and beat my daughter. Fortunately, I haven't been convicted of attempted murder yet although I assure you the urge is still very real. Always will be.

What you folks who are soooo pissed at me seem to fail to realize is that I am speaking of generalities not specifics. I KNOW how victims are treated in court during rape trials. All the crap abput texts, attire, inebriation, etc. are just dressed up ways of saying "She asked for it. She wanted it. A whore cannot be raped." And I am telling you that the language some of you are employing is reaffirming that same horrible "defense".

I don't know if AJ is guilty or if the girl lied. At this point, it's impossible to have an opinion until after the trial. I hope he's not. I hope she DID lie, so he can rebuild his life. But I do not think it's right to destroy her in the court of rumor and opinion before they go to trial. And regardless of the verdict, if he's found guilty some people will think it's bull****e...and if he's acquitted others will think he got preferential treatment. The fact of the matter is that whatever happened that night, a number of lives were ruined and that's a sad state of affairs for all of them.

As to the few guys who suggested that I leave VolNation and hang out on the Ole Miss forums--well I'm sure that would make a couple of you really happy. But too dang bad. The snarkiness of others has never deterred me from speaking up for what is right and there's not a bully in the world who can get me to run like a coward. It's just a darn shame that speaking up can lead to such hatred because some believe a football team is more important than abandoning outdated misogyny and bullying tactics. *shrug*

Obviously that last paragraph wasn't directed at everyone but the 2-3 people to whom it refers.

I believe that the majority of the people on this forum are good people, who are horrified at the idea that any of our guys could be guilty of crimes like these. And while it may be comforting to think/hope these women really are lying, money grubbing hos out for all they can get, it's hard to believe they ALL are. We're not talking about a crew of hookers here, like in the Duke lacrosse case. We are talking about very young women--girls, really, the youngest was 18--who are students at the University of Tennessee. It takes an extraordinary amount of courage to come forward with this kind of accusation if it's TRUE. How much more so to perjure oneself? So if one or more are lying,I would be surprised if they made it all the way through depositions and court without bteaking down.

And in the end, if any of the allegations ARE true, they certainly do not deserve the hell they're about to go through on top of what they already have. It's a trauma that never ends--not for the girl or her family. Trust me. I know.
 
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#287
#287
titansvolsfaninga said:
maybe said drunk girls did not have intentions on sleeping with you in the first place.
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Even when there has been times when a girl had intentions on sleeping with me, but their level of drunkenness has either a) made them stop or b) made me feel like they are way too drunk for comfort level, guess what? There still was no sexual assault committed by me. Wow I am a full blooded American male, and a hard-charging Marine to boot, and yet I still did the right thing.
 
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#288
#288
Good grief people; no one has said the victim of a rape is responsible in any way. There are however situations people should avoid. Male, female, gay or straight, there are situations where you are at increased risk of becoming a victim of a crime.

In theory, a woman should be able to undress and go to sleep anywhere with no fear of being violated. In theory, I should be able to carry five grand in cash through Orange Mound in Memphis at 9:00pm on a Friday night with no fear of being robbed. All anyone has tried to get across is it is prudent to learn what actions place you at greater risk of becoming a crime victim and avoid them. You shouldn't have to do that, but the world is an imperfect place.
 
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#289
#289
crusse10 said:
He actually prefaced with "I am not condoning rape in ANY way... but"

That's no different than "I'm not racist, but" or "I'm not sexist, but"

see: racist
see: sexist
see: putting fault of rapes on victims
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See my edit. I still think that wasn't what he was saying, you can continue to put words in his mouth if you wish.
 
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#290
#290
Now to think of it, I bet some of you watched The Accused and thought Jodie Foster's character was partially to blame for what happen to her.
 
#291
#291
DuckinVol said:
Good grief people; no one has said the victim of a rape is responsible in any way.
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This is what he posted:

There is no excuse for rape...BUT...you also do not cover yourself in blood and then jump into a pool of hungry sharks and expect not to get eaten.
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How in the heck is that not victim blaming? Yes I understand what you are saying, but I yet to see a one ounce of proof of a female putting herself in a situation that calls for what he posted.
 
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#292
#292
"I threatened to kill my scummy ex-SIL via text once after he raped and beat my daughter. Fortunately, I haven't been convicted of attempted murder yet although I assure you the urge is still very real. Always will be."

mscelina,
Had the scummy ex-SIL turned up murdered, your text would have been a big piece of evidence against you. As an aside, I think it demonstrates God's infinite wisdom in his giving me sons. Had I a daughter in such a situation, my text would be informing where to pick up the body.
 
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#293
#293
DuckinVol said:
Good grief people; no one has said the victim of a rape is responsible in any way. There are however situations people should avoid. Male, female, gay or straight, there are situations where you are at increased risk of becoming a victim of a crime.

In theory, a woman should be able to undress and go to sleep anywhere with no fear of being violated. In theory, I should be able to carry five grand in cash through Orange Mound in Memphis at 9:00pm on a Friday night with no fear of being robbed. All anyone has tried to get across is it is prudent to learn what actions place you at greater risk of becoming a crime victim and avoid them. You shouldn't have to do that, but the world is an imperfect place.
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Why should a party in college be a place where women have to think "I shouldn't go, I might get raped"? There's a difference between getting a ton of cash and going to a bad part of town and going with friends to a party. Nobody is safe to walk through a bad neighborhood with a bunch of cash. Women are at ridiculously heightened risks of sexual assaults at parties. Apples to oranges.
 
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#294
#294
jp1 said:
Please.....his intent was pretty clear. He was in no way blaming the woman. He prefaced it with an example. Don't turn what he was saying into something else.

Edit: My bad....I was reading charger vols reply.
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:hi:
Even though it was a misunderstanding, I appreciate you getting my intentions.
 
#295
#295
crusse10 said:
Why should a party in college be a place where women have to think "I shouldn't go, I might get raped"? There's a difference between getting a ton of cash and going to a bad part of town and going with friends to a party. Nobody is safe to walk through a bad neighborhood with a bunch of cash. Women are at ridiculously heightened risks of sexual assaults at parties. Apples to oranges.
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Fair enough, and I wouldn't suggest not going to parties. I would suggest, and this goes for both sexes, not being alone in a bedroom with someone of the opposite sex unless you both intend to have sex. The alone and in private part is where both people can end up in trouble when neither intended trouble from the beginning.

It seems people wish to believe the motive for rape the same when a woman is assaulted by a stranger or when two people, who are already close, get hot and heavy and one pushes past the other's boundaries. The end result is the same, but the motive is far different. Neither is excusable in any way but awareness can often prevent the problem.
 
#296
#296
crusse10 said:
Oh come on. The dude said that raped women have no accountability and are stupid

*crazy, not stupid, my bad
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I still don't see where that was ever stated.

But you should be outraged over this too.

This whole subject matter is above most people's level of understanding.

The fact that that you are bothered by all of it, means there is hope.
 
#297
#297
Speaking solely for myself.
It's simple to me, if my sister and I both attend drunken parties in college, I obviously am at less risk for being sexually assaulted. Does that mean I'm telling her not to go or anything else to that degree? Of course not. Would I ask her to be extra careful? absolutely.

That is the problem I have with some of those jumping on the soap box and patting themselves on the back for doing so. So you come on a website and denounce rape as bad. Well duh. Thanks for letting us know. You also say women can do whatever they want, and SHOULDN"T have to worry about being raped, well thanks again Captain Obvious.
What I want my daughter to understand is that just because some self righteous posters on a board have made those statements, doesn't mean chit to a rapist.
Is it fair she will have to worry more than her brother will, no. But that in its self doesn't change reality.
 
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#298
#298
utvolpj said:
Not every witness is an eyewitness

What you're asking for the girl is for her to be named so game can humiliate in public. No that should not happen to a victim and is why many avoid the hassle.

Why do you really want her name out there? What good will it do? What need will it satisfy?
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One could also postulate that many avoid the hassle because the morning after, besides the hangover, they are embarrassed, ashamed, and shocked that they got drunk, remember saying yes, and have no recourse but to play the "he got me drunk and made me say yes" card. I'm not talking about aggravated rape, I am taking about the new sexual assault culture.

As long as they treat sexual assault like speeding, this **** will happen. 71 in a 70 is speeding just like 75 in a 55. The former could be an honest mistake but COULD still be treated like the later. A pat on the butt by a drunk is assault just like the more serious issues being discussed here. Remember, that is what is being intended when the "sexual assault culture" is discussed.
 
#299
#299
uvavol said:
I'm not trying to fuel an argument but reading gomocs post made me wonder about the rumor on here about Jancek ousted for off the field issues (AJ was his player). I pray not.
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He got ousted for off the field issues NOT related to this.
 
#300
#300
chargervol said:
Speaking solely for myself.
It's simple to me, if my sister and I both attend drunken parties in college, I obviously am at less risk for being sexually assaulted. Does that mean I'm telling her not to go or anything else to that degree? Of course not. Would I ask her to be extra careful? absolutely.

That is the problem I have with some of those jumping on the soap box and patting themselves on the back for doing so. So you come on a website and denounce rape as bad. Well duh. Thanks for letting us know. You also say women can do whatever they want, and SHOULDN"T have to worry about being raped, well thanks again Captain Obvious.
What I want my daughter to understand is that just because some self righteous posters on a board have made those statements, doesn't mean chit to a rapist.
Is it fair she will have to worry more than her brother will, no. But that in its self doesn't change reality.
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agreed. as the father of two girls, believe me, there are and will continue to be conversations of using good judgement, be prepared, and don't put yourself in a bad situation and last but not least...trust your gut. if it's not giving you the warm fuzzies, there's probably good reason for it. make your decisions accordingly.

good post. i think when we talk about this subject, you nailed two things that should be able to go unsaid....

1) the rapist is a rapist for a reason, he doesn't conform the normal value or rule system we do
2) women in general have to have a keen sense of "situational awareness". and that's not fair. but, as you saad, is reality.
 
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