Sewaneetigers
Res Ipsa Loquitur
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2007
- Messages
- 221
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- 12
The following are actual statements made by my wife at Tuesday's Practice Round this week.
Wife: So how many days is this thing?
Me: Its 4 days, all golf events are four days, what you just asked is the equivalent of asking how many innings is a baseball game?
Wife: God, 4 days thats so long, dont they get bored, I was thinking it was like 1 day, and how many innings is a baseball game I know they have a 7th inning stretch so its more than that right?
Wife: I like the course but I really dont care about seeing any of these golfers. Can I get another egg salad sandwich? The food and drinks are very cheap I bet I can get a whole set of those cups, I really want the green ones.
Me: This is the stretch where Jack Nicklaus went Eagle, Birdie, Birdie, to win in 1986 at age 46. Its was one of the greatest moments in Masters history.
Wife: Whose Jack Nickels?
Me: Nicklaus, and seriously?
Wife: Yeah, Jack Nicholson, hes not the actor right?
Me: Really? Good Lord, keep your voice down if one of the grounds guys heard you say that we would be probably be asked to leave. Jack Nicklaus is the greatest golfer ever to play the game, he won here 6 times, hes a legend but especially here.
Wife: Okay, okay, just one more question.
Me: What?
Wife: Whats an eagle?
Me: <pointing> Thats Phil Mickleson
Wife: The guy that got all those birds you talked about earlier?
Me: No that was Jack Nicklaus
Wife: Oh, right.
Wife: I want a green cup, but those are only for non-domestic beers I bet if I ask one of those guys they could go in the back and get me a green cup.
Me: Theres 500 people in line here nobody is going to appreciate you holding it up for special requests.
Wife: Can I get a green cup?
Concessions Guy: What do you mean?
Wife: I want a green cup but dont want the non-domestic beer can you get me a coke but in the green cup instead of the clear one?
Guy: <thinking> Jesus Christ. <Goes to back gets a green cup fills it with coke>
Me: <also thinking> Jesus Christ.
Wife: <producing green cup> See he didnt mind! Now I have my green cup!
Me: Yeah, Im sure he didnt.
Wife: Are there other golf tournaments in Georgia?
Me: Yes.
Wife: Do they have the same people?
Me: A lot of times.
Wife: Then why is this one such a big deal and so much more expensive?
Me: Well thats the equivalent of asking why a pre-season or regular season football game is cheaper than the Superbowl, even if it has the same people in it.
Wife: Oh okay, I have another question from earlier.
Me: Okay.
Wife: Whats a birdie?
Me: Okay Im going to quiz you on what you learned today.
Wife: Okay.
Me: What is the name for hole number 12?
Wife: Ummm, Pimento Cheese?
Me: Golden Bell, and it is a par
Wife: <Holds up seven fingers>
Me: <Shakes Head>
Wife: <Holds up two fingers>
Me: Okay lets just go.
Wife: So I was right, Par 2!
Wife: Well it was pretty awesome there was no line at any of the womens bathrooms, and there is such a long line for the mens. I dont see a whole lot of women there at all really, I guess not a lot of men take their wives.
Me: Yeah, I cant imagine why.
Wife: So how many days is this thing?
Me: Its 4 days, all golf events are four days, what you just asked is the equivalent of asking how many innings is a baseball game?
Wife: God, 4 days thats so long, dont they get bored, I was thinking it was like 1 day, and how many innings is a baseball game I know they have a 7th inning stretch so its more than that right?
Wife: I like the course but I really dont care about seeing any of these golfers. Can I get another egg salad sandwich? The food and drinks are very cheap I bet I can get a whole set of those cups, I really want the green ones.
Me: This is the stretch where Jack Nicklaus went Eagle, Birdie, Birdie, to win in 1986 at age 46. Its was one of the greatest moments in Masters history.
Wife: Whose Jack Nickels?
Me: Nicklaus, and seriously?
Wife: Yeah, Jack Nicholson, hes not the actor right?
Me: Really? Good Lord, keep your voice down if one of the grounds guys heard you say that we would be probably be asked to leave. Jack Nicklaus is the greatest golfer ever to play the game, he won here 6 times, hes a legend but especially here.
Wife: Okay, okay, just one more question.
Me: What?
Wife: Whats an eagle?
Me: <pointing> Thats Phil Mickleson
Wife: The guy that got all those birds you talked about earlier?
Me: No that was Jack Nicklaus
Wife: Oh, right.
Wife: I want a green cup, but those are only for non-domestic beers I bet if I ask one of those guys they could go in the back and get me a green cup.
Me: Theres 500 people in line here nobody is going to appreciate you holding it up for special requests.
Wife: Can I get a green cup?
Concessions Guy: What do you mean?
Wife: I want a green cup but dont want the non-domestic beer can you get me a coke but in the green cup instead of the clear one?
Guy: <thinking> Jesus Christ. <Goes to back gets a green cup fills it with coke>
Me: <also thinking> Jesus Christ.
Wife: <producing green cup> See he didnt mind! Now I have my green cup!
Me: Yeah, Im sure he didnt.
Wife: Are there other golf tournaments in Georgia?
Me: Yes.
Wife: Do they have the same people?
Me: A lot of times.
Wife: Then why is this one such a big deal and so much more expensive?
Me: Well thats the equivalent of asking why a pre-season or regular season football game is cheaper than the Superbowl, even if it has the same people in it.
Wife: Oh okay, I have another question from earlier.
Me: Okay.
Wife: Whats a birdie?
Me: Okay Im going to quiz you on what you learned today.
Wife: Okay.
Me: What is the name for hole number 12?
Wife: Ummm, Pimento Cheese?
Me: Golden Bell, and it is a par
Wife: <Holds up seven fingers>
Me: <Shakes Head>
Wife: <Holds up two fingers>
Me: Okay lets just go.
Wife: So I was right, Par 2!
Wife: Well it was pretty awesome there was no line at any of the womens bathrooms, and there is such a long line for the mens. I dont see a whole lot of women there at all really, I guess not a lot of men take their wives.
Me: Yeah, I cant imagine why.
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