We know KY is about 20 years behind the rest of the USA, but one day, maybe one day, there will be boards made where you 6-fingered extra chromosome spawns of cousin love can migrate to and call home.
You should be getting Magnum PI and Miami Vice there about now. Great shows. Get the cassette of the Miami Vice theme song and pop it in the primered '79 Camaro, with Cragar mags, wide tires on the back, skinny ones on front, rebel flag in the back window, and blast it as loud as your Kraco radio can stand. The chicks will dig you.