What should Nerd's first vision quest be?

#2
#2
Ten day wilderness trek in Alaska to screw a fair maiden and fight a polar bear. Nerd, please don't get the instructions mixed up like Newt did.
 
#4
#4
Slydell said:
Ten day wilderness trek in Alaska to screw a fair maiden and fight a polar bear. Nerd, please don't get the instructions mixed up like Newt did.
Click to expand...

Dibs,

sara_palin_front_picture.jpg


and dibs,

aa101.jpg
 
#5
#5
When you have delivered the severed head of the polar bear to Al Gore's doorstep and whisper in his ear the phrase uttered by the maiden as she slips into a banging induced coma, he will grant you admittance to the Endzone lair through the revolving bookcase in his library. It is here, you will find your star. Mario style.

This quest should take you approximately 3 months.
 
#9
#9
Slydell said:
Ten day wilderness trek in Alaska to screw a fair maiden and fight a polar bear. Nerd, please don't get the instructions mixed up like Newt did.
Click to expand...

The polar bear was not as receptive as I thought it would be. Should have brought Yank with me, he probably knows the way to go about it.
 
#10
#10
He was terrified. I think you scarred him for life, newt. I encountered this poor beast. He ran for 35 days straight until he encountered me. He approached me while I was in my driveway, reared up on his hind legs, and stared me in the eyes. We had a moment where our souls connected, and I wasn't terrified. He embraced me with his mighty bear paws, and I was healed of my fears.

At first, I thought he was hugging me because of my love for the animal kingdom. He was eyeing my Nissan Leaf. But then... he told me his story.


That bear is now my power animal. That is how I got my first star. What about the rest of you?
 
#11
#11
Thrasher865 said:
He was terrified. I think you scarred him for life, newt. I encountered this poor beast. He ran for 35 days straight until he encountered me. He approached me while I was in my driveway, reared up on his hind legs, and stared me in the eyes. We had a moment where our souls connected, and I wasn't terrified. He embraced me with his mighty bear paws, and I was healed of my fears.

At first, I thought he was hugging me because of my love for the animal kingdom. He was eyeing my Prius. But then... he told me his story.
Click to expand...

Why the **** did you have to make it a he, man?
 
#13
#13
The Discover Channel aired this documentary on him. I cannot find part 1, but here is part 2. WARNING: Part 1 is NSFW (if you happen to find it). It has been banned in 30 states, and nearly a dozen countries.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNeEVkhTutY[/youtube]
 
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