Translating English for women and men

[volshistory]

TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH



Yes...=...No


No...=...Yes


Maybe...=...No


We need...=...I want


I'm sorry...=...you'll be sorry


We need to talk...=...I need to complain


Sure...go ahead...=...I don't want you to


Is my butt fat?...=...Tell me I'm beautiful


Do what you want...=...you'll pay for this later


I'm not upset...=...Of course I'm upset you moron!


Are you listening to me?...=...Too late,you're dead


You have to learn to communicate...=...Just agree with me


Be romantic,turn out the lights...=...I have flabby thighs


You're so...Manly...=...you need a shave and you sweat a lot


Do you love me?...=...I'm going to ask for something expensive


It's your decision...=...the correct decision should be obvious by now


You're certainly attentive tonight...=...is sex all you ever think about?


I'll be ready in a minute...=...Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV


How much do you love me?...=...I did something today that you're really not going to like



TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH



I'm hungry...=...I'm hungry


I'm sleepy...=...I'm sleepy


I'm tired...=...I'm tired


Nice dress...=...Nice cleavage!


I love you...=...let's have sex now


I'm bored...=...Do you want to have sex?


What's wrong?...=...I guess sex tonight is out of the question


I love you,too...=...Okay I said it...we'd better have sex now!


May I have this dance?...=...I'd eventually like to have sex with you


Can I call you sometime?...=...I'd eventually like to have sex with you


Do you want to go to a movie?...=...I'd eventually like to have sex with you


Can I take you to dinner?...=...I'd eventually like to have sex with you


Will you marry me?...=...I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys


You look tense,let me give you a massage...=...I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes


Let's talk...=...I am trying to impress you by showing that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me


I don't think those shoes go with that outfit...=...I am gay

 

[volmanjr]

one more for men

Yes dear= I'm whipped, neutered,and will agree with anything you say if it will get you to shut-up and let me watch the game in peace!

 

[VOLuptuous]

Yes!
Someone finally replied to my post!!

Thanks, Junior! :thumbsup:

 

[Volstorm]

I've been thinking = My friends and and I have talked and we have determined what you are going to do.

 

[BWeller18]

lol :dlol: :dlol:

 

[OWB]

Don't forget "I'm sorry".........meaning I am sorry for wrapping you up in bubblewrap and duct tape and locking you in the basement closet so I could watch the game in peace.

 

[Volstorm]

So, what do you do = How big is your bank account

I'm having a night out with the girls = I need to tell everyone what your doing wrong

I think so = I didn't bother

 

[rwkvol21]

And when she says "How do I look?" Don't ever say FINE.

 

[volmanjr]

Men-
"can I help with Dinner?"= why isn't on the table yet?

"It would take too long to explain." = I have no idea how it works.

"take a break honey , you're working too hard"= I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

"What did I do this time?" = What did you catch me at?