Top 10 reasons Phil Fulmer will give for his retirement

#1
The Tall Gguy

The Tall Gguy

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#1
10. Spend more time with family
9. 15 years as HC is a long time
8. Krispy Kreme's closing in Knoxville
7. I'll have watch the films
6. They cut down the hedge in Neyland
5. My hands are sore from clapping
4. FEMA called me up
3. Hamilton told me to say....
2. I'm unable to coach like heck anymore
1. CBS called...Tubby and I will be doing the broadcast for SEC game of the week next season
 
#2
#2
Thanks for that waste of 5 seconds. The Krispy Kreme "jokes" are a wee bit overrun
 
#6
#6
That OP is kind of like going to an open mic night at a comedy club and some guy gets up and tells knock-knock jokes that everybody has already heard. Good try though. "A" for effort. Unfortunately, everyone is not born with the gift of humor.
 
#7
#7
10. Smokey doesn't like me anymore.
9. The fans don't like me anymore.
8. My wife doesn't like me anymore.
7. I'm opening a Jenny Craig franchise in Pigeon Forge.
6. I'm rich, so f*** you all.
5. I'm replacing that fat black guy on American Idol.
4. I forgot how to coach!
3. Opposing teams keep sending me "Thank You" cards.
2. Orange makes me look fat. (See #7)

And the #1 reason Fulmer will give for his retirement:
Oprah called,and she needs a stand-in for Dr. Phil.
 
#8
#8
Top 10 Reasons why I won't be coaching anymore by CPF

#10)I have become numb to the color orange and am hitting construction barrels on I40.
#9) I have developed a great relationship with the Knox Co. Law enforcement
#8) One walk from the locker room to the field and I am done for the day and out of breath
#7)No matter wat song is playing on the radio all I hear is Rocky Top
#6)Ty Willingham needs a fishing buddy
#5)The only way I can have relations with my wife is if a role play as Nick Saban and wear an Crimson Thong
#4)Pearl and Summit won't let me sit with them at luch anymore
#3)I have to sit dead center of the UT plane while on recruiting trips or else we will just go in circles
#2)Smokey Humps my leg on Gamedays
#1) after Obama gets elected all NCAA team will be equal and there will be no ranking system
 
#9
#9
wolfe said:
5. I'm replacing that fat black guy on American Idol.
.
Click to expand...

Fulmer would make an interesting judge on American Idol.

Paula - "I loved it...Brilliant...You're a superstar"

Simon - "I thought it was dreadful....it sounded like a raccoon being violated by a gorilla."

Fulmer - "I thought it was a darn fine effort. I always like to take a look at the film before I hand out too much praise, but I can tell you that you certainly displayed great character, and a heckuva lot of heart...and I've been doin' this for a long time - I've heard more good songs than bad ones....a lot more in fact, 150 good songs to only 50 bad ones...and that's darn tough to do in the music business....To hell with Simon Cowell and Lee Corso...Never underestimate the heart of an american idol."
 
#11
#11
1) I've been workin like heck for this proud university for my entire adult life. When you go back and watch the film, you'll see that I worked my tail off.
 
#12
#12
Jaytrain5 said:
Fulmer would make an interesting judge on American Idol.

Paula - "I loved it...Brilliant...You're a superstar"

Simon - "I thought it was dreadful....it sounded like a raccoon being violated by a gorilla."

Fulmer - "I thought it was a darn fine effort. I always like to take a look at the film before I hand out too much praise, but I can tell you that you certainly displayed great character, and a heckuva lot of heart...and I've been doin' this for a long time - I've heard more good songs than bad ones....a lot more in fact, 150 good songs to only 50 bad ones...and that's darn tough to do in the music business....To hell with Simon Cowell and Lee Corso...Never underestimate the heart of an american idol."
Click to expand...

:eek:lol:
 
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