All Vol!
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- Aug 31, 2006
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Hey guys...haven't been able to be around much lately; miss rappin' witcha! Anyway, I caught this post some guy submitted on a general sports board, and I knew some of you would love it...
The Ballad of Tony Romo
How did it all fall apart for me, Lord?
I was the toast, the Top Dog, the next big Thing
I proved that I was more mobile than the board
that I replaced, I even thought that I could win a ring
I won big. I gave hope, and not once even groped
a female reporter (although I asked one to elope)
I had big plans, was the man, I wore my Star proud and true
and I even played a solo, at half-time, on my Kazoo
I was the hot hand du juor as fans chanted, "Cest la ME!"
I had offers from women as old as one hundred and three
but one was a man in drag, and who would have thought that Lou Holtz
would fall in lust on the spot when I upset the Colts?
I autographed pictures, and balls, and various parts of the body
I went to parties with strobe lights and each arm had a hottie
I was the biggest, the proudest, I was the center of attention.....
Now suddenly, I'm in dire need of witness protection
Oh, woe is me! All has changed. I feel so achy inside.
And that man I replaced, laughed with his mouth opened wide
Why do you laugh? Why do you jest? Why do you still hate me so?
It's not my fault that you couldn't please a man like T.O.
Oh, woe is me! Forsake this shame. How could I finish so lame?
I showed so much promise, so much poise, and now I'm the center of blame
I want my mommy, I want my blankie, I just want to go home
as I walked off the field, my teammates warned to shower alone
And poor Martin, how could he have a chance to be Automatica
when I fumbled like Kurt Warner caught in his wife's bra elastica
I saw him snap! I really mean it. I think he's slipped over to loco
and will soon be in a padded room; screaming, "Finkle is Romo!"
Oh butter fingers! Oh, Mr. Slippery! The Mojo's spilled from my challis
I was huge. Mr. Enormous. Now I'm the the most wanted in Dallas
I'll raise my head from it's shame, only to find a new life, less fantastic
and next year, in January, I'll be calling out, "Paper or Plastic?"
The Ballad of Tony Romo
How did it all fall apart for me, Lord?
I was the toast, the Top Dog, the next big Thing
I proved that I was more mobile than the board
that I replaced, I even thought that I could win a ring
I won big. I gave hope, and not once even groped
a female reporter (although I asked one to elope)
I had big plans, was the man, I wore my Star proud and true
and I even played a solo, at half-time, on my Kazoo
I was the hot hand du juor as fans chanted, "Cest la ME!"
I had offers from women as old as one hundred and three
but one was a man in drag, and who would have thought that Lou Holtz
would fall in lust on the spot when I upset the Colts?
I autographed pictures, and balls, and various parts of the body
I went to parties with strobe lights and each arm had a hottie
I was the biggest, the proudest, I was the center of attention.....
Now suddenly, I'm in dire need of witness protection
Oh, woe is me! All has changed. I feel so achy inside.
And that man I replaced, laughed with his mouth opened wide
Why do you laugh? Why do you jest? Why do you still hate me so?
It's not my fault that you couldn't please a man like T.O.
Oh, woe is me! Forsake this shame. How could I finish so lame?
I showed so much promise, so much poise, and now I'm the center of blame
I want my mommy, I want my blankie, I just want to go home
as I walked off the field, my teammates warned to shower alone
And poor Martin, how could he have a chance to be Automatica
when I fumbled like Kurt Warner caught in his wife's bra elastica
I saw him snap! I really mean it. I think he's slipped over to loco
and will soon be in a padded room; screaming, "Finkle is Romo!"
Oh butter fingers! Oh, Mr. Slippery! The Mojo's spilled from my challis
I was huge. Mr. Enormous. Now I'm the the most wanted in Dallas
I'll raise my head from it's shame, only to find a new life, less fantastic
and next year, in January, I'll be calling out, "Paper or Plastic?"
