OneManGang
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Tennessee vs The Maxims vs Alabama
The Imperial Japanese Navy did have a strategy to defeat the United States Navy in World War II. Really. They did.
The strategy was to attack the Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, crippling it and then waging a lighting campaign across the Pacific seizing various islands and atolls, forcing the weak-willed and soft Americans to batter their way back losing more and more men until the idiots in Washington would be forced to sue for peace. Once the zone of influence was established, significant part of this strategy was to threaten various American interests and lure the remnants of the American Navy into what the Gods of Operations referred to openly as The Decisive Battle. This battle would be a naval version of Waterloo: a single battle that would decide the entire war. Of course it went unsaid that the sailors of Dai Nippon would prevail. To think otherwise was, well, unthinkable.
After winning the aforesaid decisive battle Japan would dominate the Pacific Rim, wring favorable trade concessions from the Americans and build sushi bars across the Fruited Plain. Oh, wait
The first manifestation of this came in June, 1942 when the mailed fist of Kido Butai, the main carrier force of the Japanese Navy, sailed with a massive invasion fleet to threaten Midway Island. From Midway, Japanese planes could render Pearl Harbor untenable. The Americans would have to come out and fight. The Decisive Battle was on.
Unfortunately for the Japanese, a combination of American code-breaking wizardry, cold calculations by Admirals Nimitz and Spruance, and a healthy dose of sheer dumb luck the Americans sprung a trap and sank all four Japanese carriers. The Japanese admirals would have to apologize to the Emperor. In spinning the tale of catastrophe, they emulated latter-day White House press flacks as they explained that, really, that was NOT the Decisive Battle. That battle would be fought later and the Yankees would be taught their due lesson.
And so it went for the next three years. Three more times Kido Butai would sortie to do battle with the Pacific Fleet. Three times the admirals had to apologize and explain yet again that this one hadn't been the Decisive Battle, it would be the next one.
The true tale of the tape came in June, 1944 when the Americans set out capture Saipan Island. Saipan was symbolic in that it was considered part of metropolitan Japan despite being some 1500 miles from the home islands.
The Japanese sent everything that could float to stop the Americans: nine carriers, five battleships and a flock of cruisers and destroyers. The Americans, on the other hand, could call on fourteen carriers, seven battleships and enough cruisers and destroyers to cover the sea from horizon to horizon. The Japanese rout was so complete that cheeky American fighter pilots referred to the ensuing battle as The Great Marianas Turkey Shoot.
The Americans just had too much: Too many carriers, too many battleships, too many planes, too much determination.
On 3 September 1945, a Japanese delegation boarded the USS Missouri anchored in Tokyo Bay and sign a treaty of unconditional surrender. In a way, the Japanese admirals had been right. There had been a series of decisive battles.
They managed to lose them all.
The Alabama Crimson Tide, the Mighty Integral of college football in general and the Southeastern Conference in particular rolled into Neyland Stadium Saturday. Our beloved Vols fought bravely for about two and one half quarters. Again and again the Orange-clad warriors would push into Alabama territory only to come up short.
The end came with six minutes and change on the clock in the third canto when the Vols had the ball trailing 23-10, third-and-one on the Bama 33. They tried some trickeration, throwing out of the wildcat formation, which failed miserably. Then the usually unstoppable A.J. Johnson got stuffed on the ensuing play.
It was over. Tim Priest noted on the game broadcast that the Vol defense, lacking any meaningful help from their comrades on offense, just seemed to fold up after that.
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Twenty-one unanswered Crimson Tide points later, the final gun sounded ending the carnage. [/FONT]
So how did the team do compared to the Maxims?
1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.
Head Vol Derek Dooley commented last week that Alabama, doesn't recruit, they draft. Tennessee used to do that.
2. Play for and make the breaks. When one comes your way SCORE!
Alabama has not thrown an interception since sometime last season. Tennessee did nothing to change that.
3. If at first the game or the breaks go against you, dont let up PUT ON MORE STEAM!
In a strange reversal, the much-maligned Vol defense proved to be the ones who lived up to this Maxim, right up to the point when the offense insisted on mailing it in.
4. Protect our kickers, our quarterback, our lead and our ballgame.
*Grumble, cuss, grumble more*
5. Ball! Oskie! Cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle THIS IS THE WINNING EDGE.
Alabama may be the 34th best team in the NFL. To win against them requires cold calculation, intensive preparation, and a quantity of sheer dumb luck. None were much in evidence on the Tennessee side Saturday.
6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.
Maybe benching Palardy earlier this year woke the kid up. Hope springs eternal.
7. Carry the fight to Alabama and keep it there for sixty minutes.
One final collapse by Tennessee's offense sealed the deal.
After last year's disastrous outing to Tuscaloosa, your humble scribe had this to say, There is not much positive that one can take from a 31-point loss (34 this year, *Grumble, cuss, grumble more*) to a traditional rival. Somehow, some way, head Vol Derek Dooley has got to find a way to inspire his team to change their mind-set from, 'Gee, wouldn't it be great to win this game!' to 'We're going to go through them like crap through a goose!'
Alas, not so far.
MAXOMG
The Imperial Japanese Navy did have a strategy to defeat the United States Navy in World War II. Really. They did.
The strategy was to attack the Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, crippling it and then waging a lighting campaign across the Pacific seizing various islands and atolls, forcing the weak-willed and soft Americans to batter their way back losing more and more men until the idiots in Washington would be forced to sue for peace. Once the zone of influence was established, significant part of this strategy was to threaten various American interests and lure the remnants of the American Navy into what the Gods of Operations referred to openly as The Decisive Battle. This battle would be a naval version of Waterloo: a single battle that would decide the entire war. Of course it went unsaid that the sailors of Dai Nippon would prevail. To think otherwise was, well, unthinkable.
After winning the aforesaid decisive battle Japan would dominate the Pacific Rim, wring favorable trade concessions from the Americans and build sushi bars across the Fruited Plain. Oh, wait
The first manifestation of this came in June, 1942 when the mailed fist of Kido Butai, the main carrier force of the Japanese Navy, sailed with a massive invasion fleet to threaten Midway Island. From Midway, Japanese planes could render Pearl Harbor untenable. The Americans would have to come out and fight. The Decisive Battle was on.
Unfortunately for the Japanese, a combination of American code-breaking wizardry, cold calculations by Admirals Nimitz and Spruance, and a healthy dose of sheer dumb luck the Americans sprung a trap and sank all four Japanese carriers. The Japanese admirals would have to apologize to the Emperor. In spinning the tale of catastrophe, they emulated latter-day White House press flacks as they explained that, really, that was NOT the Decisive Battle. That battle would be fought later and the Yankees would be taught their due lesson.
And so it went for the next three years. Three more times Kido Butai would sortie to do battle with the Pacific Fleet. Three times the admirals had to apologize and explain yet again that this one hadn't been the Decisive Battle, it would be the next one.
The true tale of the tape came in June, 1944 when the Americans set out capture Saipan Island. Saipan was symbolic in that it was considered part of metropolitan Japan despite being some 1500 miles from the home islands.
The Japanese sent everything that could float to stop the Americans: nine carriers, five battleships and a flock of cruisers and destroyers. The Americans, on the other hand, could call on fourteen carriers, seven battleships and enough cruisers and destroyers to cover the sea from horizon to horizon. The Japanese rout was so complete that cheeky American fighter pilots referred to the ensuing battle as The Great Marianas Turkey Shoot.
The Americans just had too much: Too many carriers, too many battleships, too many planes, too much determination.
On 3 September 1945, a Japanese delegation boarded the USS Missouri anchored in Tokyo Bay and sign a treaty of unconditional surrender. In a way, the Japanese admirals had been right. There had been a series of decisive battles.
They managed to lose them all.
The Alabama Crimson Tide, the Mighty Integral of college football in general and the Southeastern Conference in particular rolled into Neyland Stadium Saturday. Our beloved Vols fought bravely for about two and one half quarters. Again and again the Orange-clad warriors would push into Alabama territory only to come up short.
The end came with six minutes and change on the clock in the third canto when the Vols had the ball trailing 23-10, third-and-one on the Bama 33. They tried some trickeration, throwing out of the wildcat formation, which failed miserably. Then the usually unstoppable A.J. Johnson got stuffed on the ensuing play.
It was over. Tim Priest noted on the game broadcast that the Vol defense, lacking any meaningful help from their comrades on offense, just seemed to fold up after that.
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Twenty-one unanswered Crimson Tide points later, the final gun sounded ending the carnage. [/FONT]
So how did the team do compared to the Maxims?
1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.
Head Vol Derek Dooley commented last week that Alabama, doesn't recruit, they draft. Tennessee used to do that.
2. Play for and make the breaks. When one comes your way SCORE!
Alabama has not thrown an interception since sometime last season. Tennessee did nothing to change that.
3. If at first the game or the breaks go against you, dont let up PUT ON MORE STEAM!
In a strange reversal, the much-maligned Vol defense proved to be the ones who lived up to this Maxim, right up to the point when the offense insisted on mailing it in.
4. Protect our kickers, our quarterback, our lead and our ballgame.
*Grumble, cuss, grumble more*
5. Ball! Oskie! Cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle THIS IS THE WINNING EDGE.
Alabama may be the 34th best team in the NFL. To win against them requires cold calculation, intensive preparation, and a quantity of sheer dumb luck. None were much in evidence on the Tennessee side Saturday.
6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.
Maybe benching Palardy earlier this year woke the kid up. Hope springs eternal.
7. Carry the fight to Alabama and keep it there for sixty minutes.
One final collapse by Tennessee's offense sealed the deal.
After last year's disastrous outing to Tuscaloosa, your humble scribe had this to say, There is not much positive that one can take from a 31-point loss (34 this year, *Grumble, cuss, grumble more*) to a traditional rival. Somehow, some way, head Vol Derek Dooley has got to find a way to inspire his team to change their mind-set from, 'Gee, wouldn't it be great to win this game!' to 'We're going to go through them like crap through a goose!'
Alas, not so far.
MAXOMG
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