Studentisms

#1

GASOUTHERNVOL

Ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
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#1
Some responses i have gotten from my students this year,,,,

Who was Christopher Columbus?
A Nascar driver

What was the ship named that Christopher Columbus sailed to America aboard?
The Cauliflower

If the Earth rotates 15 degrees in one hour, how many degrees does it rotate in two hours?
117 times an hour


Why did Christopher Columbus make his voyage to the west?
Because he couldn’t sail east

What nationality is Ralph Nader’s mother?
She is a lesbian immigrant

Rivers flow down the mountains (from higher elevation to lower elevation). This is why? (hmmm…) It is because of a force - the same force that holds your feet on the ground. What is the name of the force that holds your feet firmly on the ground?
Ummm…. I’m fat?

Describe how the European explorers treated the native Americans after arriving in the New World.
Like crap

What were the provisions of the Treaty of Paris?
Spain and France “gave it up” to Britain

What were the religious beliefs of the Salzburgers who fled Austria escaping religious persecution and came to Georgia seeking charity?
They were devil worshipers who worshiped Luther, which is another name
for Satan

A student asked me this one…
Do humans live in Antarctica? My response was – what ELSE would live there? His response… Pigeons?

What was the name of the very first African to come to the Americas?
James Oglethorpe

You can’t wear shirts to school that say inappropriate things. Like “Got crabs?” It’s an innuendo.
Why can’t you wear it in your window?

The slave code in Georgia that said “anyone teaching a slave to write or read would forfeit a sum of 20 pounds” was put in place to protect who, the slaves or the slave owners?
How could making someone lose weight benefit either group?

Hey Coach Tap… do you know any teachers that own a corvette? A what? Own a corvette, you know o-n-e a corvette?

After what war were Catholics allowed to settle in Georgia?
The Cold War

On what day did the Georgia colonists arrive in Savannah?
Independence Day

Have any of you ever been in an airport in a foreign country before?
Oh! Oh! I have! I flew out of Hawaii once!!

What was the name of the treaty that officially ended the American Revolution?
The Emancipation Proclamation

What two countries fought in the American Revolution?
Savannah and Yorktown

Should slavery have been allowed in antebellum Georgia?
Yes, slavery should have been allowed because I might be dead. One time in my family someone married a black person. If you trace her family I bet she had ancestors that were slaves. So with that said I could be dead. I am glad for slavery.

Slavery should not have been allowed in antebellum Georgia because the Bible says all men are created equal.

One of God’s three laws was no man can take freedom away from another man.

What was one right that the blacks possessed in Georgia before the Civil War?
To own a library card

From a 6th grade student: “Can you help me with my PowerPoint on the Cold War?”
8th grader’s response: “Wasn’t that about them “VietMaNese?”

What was the motivation behind the terrorist attacks on September 11?
Because they believed that they would get 73 Virgins in heaven if they sacrificed their lives.

Does anyone know where Cuba is located?
Isn’t that somewhere in Canada?

What is the term for a large piece of land completely surrounded by water?
The Lost City of Atlantis

Can anyone explain why families who lived in Georgia the 1800's had such large families?
Because they wanted children to work on the farms
Yes, that is correct. Can you think of any other reasons? Are there any types of things that people use nowadays to prevent unwanted pregnancies that families did not have access to back then?
Oh yeah! Seat belts!

What were the three major events that occurred during the literature period we're studying--1914-1946?
Ummmhhhh.....World War I?
Yes. Very good. What else?
Um...the Great something...
The Great Depression. Good. Now, what event occurred to help bring the U.S. out of the Great Depression?
????
You know...Pearl Harbor?
Oh!! Vietnam, duh!!
 

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