VolfanMike
Make em Gobble
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2007
- Messages
- 5,543
- Likes
- 2
Funny read: SEC Beattitudes « Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain
*Blessed be Alabama, for they are stuck in the 70s. Blessed be Alabama fans, keep them patient when a coach goes 11-1 and be with their brown paper sacks, so they not be holey, so the money doesnt fall out on the way to a recruits house.
*Blessed be Kentucky and its basketball program, for ensuring that a delusional fan base doesnt just include Alabama. Blessed be Kentucky for giving us the 50 shots of Ashley Judd during national televised basketball games (bless her indeed)
*Blessed be Arkansas, for thou has taken advantage of the Freedom of Information Act. Blessed be Coach Houston Nutt, for he knows how to recruit and maintain a top notch QB and WR recruit, and he also knows how to call offensive plays (RB left, RB right, RB middle, just like 10 Yard Fight on NES)
*Blessed be South Carolina, for having little to no football tradition, if you consider years of mediocrity tradition. Blessed be Steve Spurrier, for he is part of the Holy Trinity. If you dont believe him, ask him. Click Clack.
*Blessed be Auburn, for their Gulfstream is filled with gas and ready to get a football coach at the drop of the hat. Blessed be Tuberville, for I have a protective hedge around him. When the chips are down, I bless him with an upset win, and the annual Bama win.
*Blessed be Ole Miss, for while there sports on a whole suck, I have populated The Grove with a factory of beautiful young ladies that all can enjoy when visiting Oxford. Blessed be their fan base for thinking Coach O will lead them to 4 wins this year.
*Blessed be Miss. State, for Croom cleaning up a clusterfumess and motivating the players, but having no talent. I will be with him when he gets fired, but not before I give him another upset win (Im thinking Tennessee or Arkansas).
*Blessed be Tennessee, for mediocrity has set in its football program. Blessed be the basketball season upcoming, for both teams shall at least be in the Elite 8, and make Vol fans forget about the orange colored Stay Puft Marshmallow Man coaching football.
*Blessed be Florida, for being not only the kings of college sports for the moment, but also for drug running and gun toting. Your athletes shall do their best Tony Montana impression with the big guns and your fans will watch with mullets feathered.
*Blessed be LSU, for winning the National Championship this year despite the head coach. Blessed be night games at Death Valley, for the smell of alcohol and boudin prevail. Blessed be Pokey Chatman, for at least being a cute sinner
*Blessed be Georgia, for having coaches with perfect hair (Richt, Landers) and for giving the Big Least Conference hope that they can win a BCS bowl and having Mountaineer fans bring up your Sugar Bowl loss on a regular basis. Thank you
*Blessed be Vanderbilt, for we all need, lawyers, accountants, sports agents, wirters, doctors, neurosurgeons, college professors, chemists, physicists, and all around Mensa members.
*Blessed be Alabama, for they are stuck in the 70s. Blessed be Alabama fans, keep them patient when a coach goes 11-1 and be with their brown paper sacks, so they not be holey, so the money doesnt fall out on the way to a recruits house.
*Blessed be Kentucky and its basketball program, for ensuring that a delusional fan base doesnt just include Alabama. Blessed be Kentucky for giving us the 50 shots of Ashley Judd during national televised basketball games (bless her indeed)
*Blessed be Arkansas, for thou has taken advantage of the Freedom of Information Act. Blessed be Coach Houston Nutt, for he knows how to recruit and maintain a top notch QB and WR recruit, and he also knows how to call offensive plays (RB left, RB right, RB middle, just like 10 Yard Fight on NES)
*Blessed be South Carolina, for having little to no football tradition, if you consider years of mediocrity tradition. Blessed be Steve Spurrier, for he is part of the Holy Trinity. If you dont believe him, ask him. Click Clack.
*Blessed be Auburn, for their Gulfstream is filled with gas and ready to get a football coach at the drop of the hat. Blessed be Tuberville, for I have a protective hedge around him. When the chips are down, I bless him with an upset win, and the annual Bama win.
*Blessed be Ole Miss, for while there sports on a whole suck, I have populated The Grove with a factory of beautiful young ladies that all can enjoy when visiting Oxford. Blessed be their fan base for thinking Coach O will lead them to 4 wins this year.
*Blessed be Miss. State, for Croom cleaning up a clusterfumess and motivating the players, but having no talent. I will be with him when he gets fired, but not before I give him another upset win (Im thinking Tennessee or Arkansas).
*Blessed be Tennessee, for mediocrity has set in its football program. Blessed be the basketball season upcoming, for both teams shall at least be in the Elite 8, and make Vol fans forget about the orange colored Stay Puft Marshmallow Man coaching football.
*Blessed be Florida, for being not only the kings of college sports for the moment, but also for drug running and gun toting. Your athletes shall do their best Tony Montana impression with the big guns and your fans will watch with mullets feathered.
*Blessed be LSU, for winning the National Championship this year despite the head coach. Blessed be night games at Death Valley, for the smell of alcohol and boudin prevail. Blessed be Pokey Chatman, for at least being a cute sinner
*Blessed be Georgia, for having coaches with perfect hair (Richt, Landers) and for giving the Big Least Conference hope that they can win a BCS bowl and having Mountaineer fans bring up your Sugar Bowl loss on a regular basis. Thank you
*Blessed be Vanderbilt, for we all need, lawyers, accountants, sports agents, wirters, doctors, neurosurgeons, college professors, chemists, physicists, and all around Mensa members.
