You can't make Goonies 2 these days. Chunk's 'truffle shuffle' would be offensive to the body positive crowd. Data's character would be offensive to "woke" kiddy "activists" on behalf of the Asian community (who likely wouldn't have a problem with it themselves). The #MeToo screamers would be crying about Andy getting sexually harassed. Brand's character would be labeled an example of "toxic masculinity." Mikey would be trolled for perpetuating asthmatic stereotypes. The whole journey would be criticized as "pirate appropriation," and Sloth would have to wear a MAGA hat to be believable as a character. Not to mention you'd have to make the sequel with a completely new cast that represents "diversity" and "inclusion" which would just tick off the traditionalists who grew up on the original Goonies. All this "progress" sure does make a mess, doesn't it?
