OWH's Topic That Will Never Die XXIII

Tin Man

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I need to vent a bit. The women of my wife’s family - the missus, her sisters, the daughter - all will be unmotivated to prepare a meal, so I’ll start prepping and cooking. Then, either by guilt or boredom, they insist on helping. What can I do? “Tell me how I can help, or I’m just going to start doing something…”

Now, when you help the main cook, you are cognizant of their timing, you do what your asked, and you don’t get in their way. This IS NOT true for the women of my wife’s family. They do what they want as they want to do it and expect everything else to magically adjust to them. Oh, and the cook can just stay out of their way if they feel like rearranging the spice cabinet right then and there. Once they’re in the kitchen, everybody else can move around them, even the poor schmuck trying to cook dinner. If their only contribution is to slice and butter bread, they’ll do it as they wish and finish 20 minutes after everything else is ready to serve. The main dish and sides may be overdone and/or cold, but that’s the cook’s fault, and their bread is perfect. Sharing a purpose and goal of making a meal, working cooperatively - this is as foreign as a Asian alphabet to them.

G-d forbid that I say, I got this. I’ll finish dinner. You can set the table. Then, I’m disrespectful of their sudden urge to contribute right in the middle of what I’m doing. They’ll take 40 minutes to dice an onion, insist on using the boning knife, and complain about the late hour that dinner is served. The forty minutes they took to dice an onion had nothing to do with it.

[SIGH] This isn’t going to be well received…
 
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VolNExile

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Best I got is, assuming that this is an ongoing Thing: make a list of menial (or even useful) chores that they can do, and when they pop up and get in the way, assign them one. And only one. And then thank them for their service and shoo them away.

When Hubs’s daughters visited in early September, one volunteered to help. I watched in amazement as it took her 25 minutes to chop up a bell pepper. I mean, geeze. I’m no where near as quick as the TV people (I place some value on my fingertips), but 25 minutes??
 

tntar heel

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I need to vent a bit. The women of my wife’s family - the missus, her sisters, the daughter - all will be unmotivated to prepare a meal, so I’ll start prepping and cooking. Then, either by guilt or boredom, they insist on helping. What can I do? “Tell me how I can help, or I’m just going to start doing something…”

Now, when you help the main cook, you are cognizant of their timing, you do what your asked, and you don’t get in their way. This IS NOT true for the women of my wife’s family. They do what they want as they want to do it and expect everything else to magically adjust to them. Oh, and the cook can just stay out of their way if they feel like rearranging the spice cabinet right then and there. Once they’re in the kitchen, everybody else can move around them, even the poor schmuck trying to cook dinner. If their only contribution is to slice and butter bread, they’ll do it as they wish and finish 20 minutes after everything else is ready to serve. The main dish and sides may be overdone and/or cold, but that’s the cook’s fault, and their bread is perfect. Sharing a purpose and goal of making a meal, working cooperatively - this is as foreign as a Asian alphabet to them.

G-d forbid that I say, I got this. I’ll finish dinner. You can set the table. Then, I’m disrespectful of their sudden urge to contribute right in the middle of what I’m doing. They’ll take 40 minutes to dice an onion, insist on using the boning knife, and complain about the late hour that dinner is served. The forty minutes they took to dice an onion had nothing to do with it.

[SIGH] This isn’t going to be well received…
Pour them a glass of wine and tell them you are going to show them how to dice an onion. Have metal colander on head for protection prior to grabbing wine to pour and ensure bottle is out of reach.
 

VolNExile

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I need to vent a bit. The women of my wife’s family - the missus, her sisters, the daughter - all will be unmotivated to prepare a meal, so I’ll start prepping and cooking. Then, either by guilt or boredom, they insist on helping. What can I do? “Tell me how I can help, or I’m just going to start doing something…”

Now, when you help the main cook, you are cognizant of their timing, you do what your asked, and you don’t get in their way. This IS NOT true for the women of my wife’s family. They do what they want as they want to do it and expect everything else to magically adjust to them. Oh, and the cook can just stay out of their way if they feel like rearranging the spice cabinet right then and there. Once they’re in the kitchen, everybody else can move around them, even the poor schmuck trying to cook dinner. If their only contribution is to slice and butter bread, they’ll do it as they wish and finish 20 minutes after everything else is ready to serve. The main dish and sides may be overdone and/or cold, but that’s the cook’s fault, and their bread is perfect. Sharing a purpose and goal of making a meal, working cooperatively - this is as foreign as a Asian alphabet to them.

G-d forbid that I say, I got this. I’ll finish dinner. You can set the table. Then, I’m disrespectful of their sudden urge to contribute right in the middle of what I’m doing. They’ll take 40 minutes to dice an onion, insist on using the boning knife, and complain about the late hour that dinner is served. The forty minutes they took to dice an onion had nothing to do with it.

[SIGH] This isn’t going to be well received…
— Actually, now that I think about it, if you’re visiting, this falls into the Special Occasion category of who’s in the kitchen. If you’re visiting, and they offer to help, just shoo them away, saying, “No, this is your time to be together!” Just keep handing out more wine. I think they’re offering to help out of guilt, and they’d be delighted if you refused the offer (10 or 20 times.) Win, win. 🥂
 

joevol33

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I need to vent a bit. The women of my wife’s family - the missus, her sisters, the daughter - all will be unmotivated to prepare a meal, so I’ll start prepping and cooking. Then, either by guilt or boredom, they insist on helping. What can I do? “Tell me how I can help, or I’m just going to start doing something…”

Now, when you help the main cook, you are cognizant of their timing, you do what your asked, and you don’t get in their way. This IS NOT true for the women of my wife’s family. They do what they want as they want to do it and expect everything else to magically adjust to them. Oh, and the cook can just stay out of their way if they feel like rearranging the spice cabinet right then and there. Once they’re in the kitchen, everybody else can move around them, even the poor schmuck trying to cook dinner. If their only contribution is to slice and butter bread, they’ll do it as they wish and finish 20 minutes after everything else is ready to serve. The main dish and sides may be overdone and/or cold, but that’s the cook’s fault, and their bread is perfect. Sharing a purpose and goal of making a meal, working cooperatively - this is as foreign as a Asian alphabet to them.

G-d forbid that I say, I got this. I’ll finish dinner. You can set the table. Then, I’m disrespectful of their sudden urge to contribute right in the middle of what I’m doing. They’ll take 40 minutes to dice an onion, insist on using the boning knife, and complain about the late hour that dinner is served. The forty minutes they took to dice an onion had nothing to do with it.

[SIGH] This isn’t going to be well received…
Show them who is boss!🤣
 
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Tin Man

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— Actually, now that I think about it, if you’re visiting, this falls into the Special Occasion category of who’s in the kitchen. If you’re visiting, and they offer to help, just shoo them away, saying, “No, this is your time to be together!” Just keep handing out more wine. I think they’re offering to help out of guilt, and they’d be delighted if you refused the offer (10 or 20 times.) Win, win. 🥂
Once, I told my sister-in-law that she was in charge of wine. She opened 10 bottles of red wine. There were not 10 guests. By evening’s end, I had 10 bottles with a glass or three poured from each of them. At least each small plate was perfectly prepared and enjoyed as it should be.
 

VolNExile

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Once, I told my sister-in-law that she was in charge of wine. She opened 10 bottles of red wine. There were not 10 guests. By evening’s end, I had 10 bottles with a glass or three poured from each of them. At least each small plate was perfectly prepared and enjoyed as it should be.
What is it about SILs on VN???
 
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