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- Oct 22, 2003
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In a world full of stupid people........
In Nashville, a man who had his apartment ransacked and his cell phone stolen called the thief on the stolen cell phone to tell him he'd give him $50 if he'd just return it. The thief thought that was a good deal and was arrested when he returned for the $50.
While trying to walk across several graves in a Cleveland, Ohio, cemetery during a snow squall, a woman was not able to see that a tarp had been tossed over a grave just opened for a burial and survived serious injury when she took a step and suddenly dropped six feet down into the grave.
In Clarence, N.Y., a farmer's tractor malfunctioned, throwing him from it, but he escaped serious injury because he landed in a nearby manure truck.
Authorities in Los Angeles asked that a new golf practice range at Los Angeles City College be shut down after an architect underestimated the potential of golfers' swings and their shots began pelting buildings and a day-care center across the way.
In the Chicago suburb of Glenview, the owner of a make-and-bake-your-own pottery store suggested there was "no way" Donald Trump could trademark the term, "You're Fired!" because she had been using it as the name of her store for years.
During a bank robbery in Tulsa, Okla., the robber handed over a holdup note to the teller that warned -- "Don't be stupid." That was followed on the note by his name and address.
In West Monroe, N.Y., a 33-year-old man called his ex-wife and asked her to come over to see something, at which time she arrived to find him hanging by his neck from a front-yard tree. That's when, moments later, he opened his eyes and yelled, "April Fool!" He had specially jimmied a hidden lineman's harness in the tree.
On Wall Street, critics blasted the Costco Wholesale Corp. for being too nice to its employees, paying them too well and being far too generous with benefits, contending Costco shareholders are suffering as a result.
In New York City, in an urgent notice to readers of Southern Living magazine, the publishers apologized and encouraged readers NOT to use a recipe from an April 2004 issue for Icebox Rolls, as combining the water and shortening "as described in the recipe" may cause the mixture "to ignite, explode, be extremely dangerous and cause fire damage."
At a pre-Passover ritual in Brooklyn, N.Y., two people were hospitalized after a rabbi used paint thinner for a bread-burning ritual.
In Washington D.C., as part of the government's crackdown on pornography, the attorney general's office announced plans to hire 32 more workers who would be required to surf the Internet or watch cable TV and try to find pornography eight hours a day.
At Logan Airport in Boston, a high school biology teacher trying to board a jet carrying a severed seal's head he found on a beach was arrested and told severed seals' heads were illegal as carry-on items because they were a security risk.
In Granite Falls, Wash., a man who fell asleep with a pistol under his pillow awoke in the morning to discover he had inadvertently shot himself in the head sometime during the night. He was in fair condition.
In Trenton, N.J., a 47-year-old trying to hit her husband with their car during a marital argument missed him but plowed into the Carefree Kitchens restaurant instead.
In Riverside, Fla., a 35-year-old man who thought it would be funny to drive by a friend's house and shoot off a fireworks rocket from his car survived serious injury when the plan went as planned, except that he could not get the rocket out of his Ford Mustang and it shot to the ceiling of his car, then began ricocheting around the car before diving between his legs, bursting into a fireworks display that burned his legs and skin. "I thought I was dead," he told police later.
In Nashville, a man who had his apartment ransacked and his cell phone stolen called the thief on the stolen cell phone to tell him he'd give him $50 if he'd just return it. The thief thought that was a good deal and was arrested when he returned for the $50.
While trying to walk across several graves in a Cleveland, Ohio, cemetery during a snow squall, a woman was not able to see that a tarp had been tossed over a grave just opened for a burial and survived serious injury when she took a step and suddenly dropped six feet down into the grave.
In Clarence, N.Y., a farmer's tractor malfunctioned, throwing him from it, but he escaped serious injury because he landed in a nearby manure truck.
Authorities in Los Angeles asked that a new golf practice range at Los Angeles City College be shut down after an architect underestimated the potential of golfers' swings and their shots began pelting buildings and a day-care center across the way.
In the Chicago suburb of Glenview, the owner of a make-and-bake-your-own pottery store suggested there was "no way" Donald Trump could trademark the term, "You're Fired!" because she had been using it as the name of her store for years.
During a bank robbery in Tulsa, Okla., the robber handed over a holdup note to the teller that warned -- "Don't be stupid." That was followed on the note by his name and address.
In West Monroe, N.Y., a 33-year-old man called his ex-wife and asked her to come over to see something, at which time she arrived to find him hanging by his neck from a front-yard tree. That's when, moments later, he opened his eyes and yelled, "April Fool!" He had specially jimmied a hidden lineman's harness in the tree.
On Wall Street, critics blasted the Costco Wholesale Corp. for being too nice to its employees, paying them too well and being far too generous with benefits, contending Costco shareholders are suffering as a result.
In New York City, in an urgent notice to readers of Southern Living magazine, the publishers apologized and encouraged readers NOT to use a recipe from an April 2004 issue for Icebox Rolls, as combining the water and shortening "as described in the recipe" may cause the mixture "to ignite, explode, be extremely dangerous and cause fire damage."
At a pre-Passover ritual in Brooklyn, N.Y., two people were hospitalized after a rabbi used paint thinner for a bread-burning ritual.
In Washington D.C., as part of the government's crackdown on pornography, the attorney general's office announced plans to hire 32 more workers who would be required to surf the Internet or watch cable TV and try to find pornography eight hours a day.
At Logan Airport in Boston, a high school biology teacher trying to board a jet carrying a severed seal's head he found on a beach was arrested and told severed seals' heads were illegal as carry-on items because they were a security risk.
In Granite Falls, Wash., a man who fell asleep with a pistol under his pillow awoke in the morning to discover he had inadvertently shot himself in the head sometime during the night. He was in fair condition.
In Trenton, N.J., a 47-year-old trying to hit her husband with their car during a marital argument missed him but plowed into the Carefree Kitchens restaurant instead.
In Riverside, Fla., a 35-year-old man who thought it would be funny to drive by a friend's house and shoot off a fireworks rocket from his car survived serious injury when the plan went as planned, except that he could not get the rocket out of his Ford Mustang and it shot to the ceiling of his car, then began ricocheting around the car before diving between his legs, bursting into a fireworks display that burned his legs and skin. "I thought I was dead," he told police later.
