Lexvol
I'm Your Huckleberry
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
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The IRS decided to audit Ralph, and summoned him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Ralph showed up with an attorney.
The auditor explained, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," replied Ralph. "How about
a demonstration?"
The auditor thought for a moment and said, "Okay, go ahead."
Ralph continued, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thought a moment and remarked, "No way! It's a bet."
Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.
The auditor's jaw dropped. Ralph then said, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.
Ralph removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
By now the stunned auditor realized he had wagered and lost three
grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He started getting nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph offered. "I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee
into that wastebasket on the other side, and I'll never get a drop
anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious, but he looked carefully and
decided there was no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again.
Ralph stood beside the desk and unzipped his pants, but although he
strained mightily, he could not make the stream reach the wastebasket
on other side, so he pretty much urinated all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaped with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win. Ralph's attorney, however, moaned and put
his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asked.
"Not really," answered the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told
me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars
that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk
and that you'd be happy about it."
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Ralph showed up with an attorney.
The auditor explained, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," replied Ralph. "How about
a demonstration?"
The auditor thought for a moment and said, "Okay, go ahead."
Ralph continued, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thought a moment and remarked, "No way! It's a bet."
Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.
The auditor's jaw dropped. Ralph then said, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.
Ralph removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
By now the stunned auditor realized he had wagered and lost three
grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He started getting nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph offered. "I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee
into that wastebasket on the other side, and I'll never get a drop
anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious, but he looked carefully and
decided there was no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again.
Ralph stood beside the desk and unzipped his pants, but although he
strained mightily, he could not make the stream reach the wastebasket
on other side, so he pretty much urinated all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaped with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win. Ralph's attorney, however, moaned and put
his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asked.
"Not really," answered the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told
me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars
that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk
and that you'd be happy about it."
lol:
