How did you overcome a tough period in life?

#1

Adam2014

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#1
Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting in the off-topic forum, but I have a question for all of you. When is a time that you conquered a tough period in your life? I am struggling with some awful depression right now and nothing seems to be working. I guess I was just wondering if any of you had some advice?

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.
 
#4

VolInNorthCack

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#4
Hiking. That was and is my release. Nothing will cure your mental state faster than a good strenuous 15 miler. I started realizing how big the world actually is and that my problems were just that. My problems. Not the world's problems or someone else's, but mine. I learned to own things. You have a lot of time to think and put things into perspective. I look at hiking almost meditatively. It can't cure every problem, but it sure helps me to unplug from everything and clear my head and think more rationally. And when you have faced possible death a few times in the wilderness, your perspective on life and what it means to you becomes much clearer. You realize that you have nobody to depend on but yourself to get you out of the wilderness and back to the people you care about.

It may not be for everyone, but hiking saved my life.

I hope you find your release. Or your coping mechanism. I truly do. But there is no quick fix for mental struggles or depression. It is something that you will need to cultivate and control for the rest of your life. Some people do it through medication or self-medication. Others through therapy. My way is hiking and at that time, it was extreme hiking. The only way I could get my mind right was to put myself in very tough situations. That way I knew I had to focus on surviving and making it home. And the problems that I was dealing with suddenly became less and less overpowering. I understood how to deal with things better and realized that I had the strength to overcome the burdens much more easily than what I thought were hopeless situations.

There's no magic bullet man. It's tough. It might get tougher before it gets better. But you have to find your own path forward.
 
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#5

PB&J

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#5
1. Professional help
2. Application to your life by acknowledging and accepting that you cannot do everything all the time.
3. You have to develop a way to regroup.
4. The ability to add and subtract and this can cross many levels of your life.
5. Hope, above all else, hope. It is a humans greatest strength.
 
#6

robbymoore94

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#6
First, admitting you have a problem is a huge step in the right direction, so you are on the right path. You have sought professional help which is good. Each person is different. I see you say you are not religious, and I am not going to try to force religion on you. However, I have not found a problem that the Bible does not offer a solution for.

For me, I have found that in the times that I seem stuck, I am missing something. Those are times God, life, the universe, or whatever term you want to use is trying to get us to grow. Bad things are going to happen, that is a fact. How we respond is what matters. We are going to fail. How we learn and grow from those failure is what ultimately matters.

Keep talking to someone. There is always someone there to listen. There is always someone that cares. Hang in there, it might suck right now, but someday you will see it all as a growing opportunity.
 
#7

mad4vols

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#7
Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting in the off-topic forum, but I have a question for all of you. When is a time that you conquered a tough period in your life? I am struggling with some awful depression right now and nothing seems to be working. I guess I was just wondering if any of you had some advice?

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.
Thank you for starting this thread, you are not alone, a lot of us are struggling.
 
#8

mad4vols

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#8
Hiking. That was and is my release. Nothing will cure your mental state faster than a good strenuous 15 miler. I started realizing how big the world actually is and that my problems were just that. My problems. Not the world's problems or someone else's, but mine. I learned to own things. You have a lot of time to think and put things into perspective. I look at hiking almost meditatively. It can't cure every problem, but it sure helps me to unplug from everything and clear my head and think more rationally. And when you have faced possible death a few times in the wilderness, your perspective on life and what it means to you becomes much clearer. You realize that you have nobody to depend on but yourself to get you out of the wilderness and back to the people you care about.

It may not be for everyone, but hiking saved my life.

I hope you find your release. Or your coping mechanism. I truly do. But there is no quick fix for mental struggles or depression. It is something that you will need to cultivate and control for the rest of your life. Some people do it through medication or self-medication. Others through therapy. My way is hiking and at that time, it was extreme hiking. The only way I could get my mind right was to put myself in very tough situations. That way I knew I had to focus on surviving and making it home. And the problems that I was dealing with suddenly became less and less overpowering. I understood how to deal with things better and realized that I had the strength to overcome the burdens much more easily than what I thought were hopeless situations.

There's no magic bullet man. It's tough. It might get tougher before it gets better. But you have to find your own path forward.
Your story and journey is very inspiring.
 
#9

vollygirl

GO VOLS!!!
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#9
Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting in the off-topic forum, but I have a question for all of you. When is a time that you conquered a tough period in your life? I am struggling with some awful depression right now and nothing seems to be working. I guess I was just wondering if any of you had some advice?

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.
Talking about it is huge.

Two things I remind myself when things are getting too heavy to manage: I went through the briar patch. It cut me, it hurt, it left scars. But I'm on the other side. And something Pat Summitt used to say: Left foot, right foot, breathe.
 
#10

Hoosier_Vol

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#10
All the above replies are good answers. STAY AWAY from drugs and alcohol no matter what, it only makes everything 10 times worse. If you have a hobby or passion go for it and spend more time on it to clear your mind. Depression is awful and I hope you find a way to get pass it...we aren't licensed help here but if nothing else post your thoughts here and just get them out....honestly that helps and sometimes it's easier to do it to complete strangers. We're all here for you!!
 
#12

PEPPERJAX

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#12
Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting in the off-topic forum, but I have a question for all of you. When is a time that you conquered a tough period in your life? I am struggling with some awful depression right now and nothing seems to be working. I guess I was just wondering if any of you had some advice?

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.
Family and friends are typically the best answers. The ones that care about you the most will help you through tough times. Music, Jogging, and lifting weights are invigorating and provide a nice release. Cuts down on stress big time IMO.
 
#13

LouderVol

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#13
Taking my issues head on. Admitting when I was hurt, to myself at least. Crying, yelling, facing my emotions. Keep it bottled up was killing me.

You cant/wont be perfect, stuff will go wrong. so if you eff up get angry; if you get hurt, cry. But admit your problems, and take them on, no one else will.

Have normal conversations, if you are at work strike up some small talk about not work. At first you will be faking your participation. But I found having some regular conversations helped me so much.

Find some music you jive with, and jam that everyday. I wanted something real, something with soul. I am a straight, semi-macho man, but Florence and the Machine straight got me through my shist.

You are going to mess up. Thas ok.
Things wont be perfect, ever. That's ok.
You dont feel great today/this week/all summer. That's ok.

No one gets to live your life but you. Dont worry about being the best at whatever you do. Worry about being the best you, you can be. Dont worry if your best isnt great, that's irrelevant. Do your best and recognize when you struggle and over come something, especially the minor stuff.

For me it was never one big thing that helped me be better, and somewhat escape my depression. It was the little things. Stare at a sunrise. Listen to the birds. Enjoy the patter of water, or kids playing or whatever the heck small thing provides a bit of beauty. Find the small moments, win and celebrate the small things.

I will never ever be able to undo the wrong I did to someone I cared greatly for. I can never undo how much of a self centered jack arse I was in that situation. I cant make our current relationship any better than it is. But I can go fold laundry. I can enjoy the sunrise on the train ride to work. I cant sit in my car for five more minutes and replay Florence and the Machine Lover to Lover.

Do what feels real to you. Take care of yourself.
 
#16

OldandStillaVol

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#16
I’ve struggled with depression in the past so I know how tough it is. In addition to your therapist, see your MD. Several things I’ve noticed when I was depressed. Physical activity helps - it can be anything but getting the heart pumping makes me feel better. Even better if you can do it by accomplishing something like taking care of your lawn, chopping wood, etc. Get enough sleep. Having trouble sleeping? Another thing to discuss with a doctor. Take it easy on yourself - don’t try and make big decisions now and remind yourself it’s one day at a time. Good luck. I know you said you aren’t religious but my thoughts and prayers are for you.
 
#17

Pacer92

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#17
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. Run, lift, punching bag... Get out and move then move some more. Find something to do that takes your mind off of it as much as you can. Focus on your work, hopefully, you enjoy what you do.
Yep...let the endorphins flow. Being as active as possible is medicine for the mind.
 
#18

LouderVol

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#18
I’ve struggled with depression in the past so I know how tough it is. In addition to your therapist, see your MD. Several things I’ve noticed when I was depressed. Physical activity helps - it can be anything but getting the heart pumping makes me feel better. Even better if you can do it by accomplishing something like taking care of your lawn, chopping wood, etc. Get enough sleep. Having trouble sleeping? Another thing to discuss with a doctor. Take it easy on yourself - don’t try and make big decisions now and remind yourself it’s one day at a time. Good luck. I know you said you aren’t religious but my thoughts and prayers are for you.
Activity definitely helps. Even just a quick brisk walk outside is great. 1hr lunch, only take you 30 minutes to eat? Go for a 30 walk, even if its wearing a circle in the parking lot. Sunshine helped me sooo much.
 
#19

MEDVOL

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#19
If therapy hasn't proven to help, you need to go see an MD (can be in addition therapy). Depression is a physiologic disease. Don't let anyone make you feel like less of a person for having a psychiatric illness. Just like people have diabetes, hypertension, etc., people can have depression, anxiety, etc. It is based on physiologic mechanisms and can be treated with medicine.

Outside of that, God and a loving wife are my recommendations.
 
#20

Wireless1

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#20
1) I have seeked professional help. I really like my therapist, but I am having a hard time turning the discussions we have into actions.
2) I am not religious.
3) Thank you for responding.
Adam, from the number of replies that you can see many people care about you, and we're all pulling for you Your statement about not being religious might point to one area for you to seek. I had a professor that stated that the product of religion was Hope. Hope is what drives us all, so I'd encourage you to find your hope. You'll never find it in a bottle, or pill but you will when you seek it on a spiritual level..... and of course as has been mentioned hard labor cures many emotional ails.
 
#21

n_huffhines

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#21
Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting in the off-topic forum, but I have a question for all of you. When is a time that you conquered a tough period in your life? I am struggling with some awful depression right now and nothing seems to be working. I guess I was just wondering if any of you had some advice?

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.
Disclaimer: I don't know if my advice and coping mechanisms are healthy, but I like what they do for me.

I look at it like there are three different kinds of depression:

Did some life event cause your current depressed state? I don't have much to offer if the source of your depression is the death or some kind of loss of a loved one. I have had financial problems that caused me lots of stress and some depression, and the way I worked through that was pretty simple and has served me fairly well. I confront my anxieties head-on and ask myself "what is the worst-case scenario?" Then I ask myself if that is the end of the world and it's most likely not. Then I remind myself it's not even the most likely scenario. Then I work my way through other possible scenarios, including the most likely ones. I find I can live with them and that my levels of anxiety did not match the actual consequences. I will say, this doesn't really work for my wife but it works like a charm for me. I can take my anxiety from an 8 to a 3 with just a few minutes of this thought exercise.

Is there something going on in your life causing you depression? I had depression early in my career that started in school because I was dreading a future where I hated work. I thought I was going to hate finance and I didn't know what else to do with my degree. I dropped out of school for a while and started some entrepreneurial endeavors that did OK and then failed. That deviation from the path helped me to cope but I didn't truly get over it until I found my first job out of college. IDK what the lesson is here aside from don't run from it like I did.

Or do you just suffer from general depression? I've had rare and small bouts with general depression, so TTFWIW, but what worked for me was staying busy. I don't think you have to constantly occupy yourself, but make sure you do something active, something productive, and something nice for someone every day.
 
#22

burntorangeVOLffle

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#22
I can’t really say I’ve ever battled depression of any extended period so I can’t speak from experience. All they advise to to get active makes a lot of sense to me though. Finding a hobby or something you are passionate about could help channel some of that negative energy out.
 
#23

joevol33

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#23
1) I have seeked professional help. I really like my therapist, but I am having a hard time turning the discussions we have into actions.
2) I am not religious.
3) Thank you for responding.
Definitely don't have too much pride to stop you from seeking help. Find a stress relief hobby, like fishing, or something. I know you said you're not religious, but my faith has definitely helped me. Not saying this to be offensive towards you, but I'll definitely keep you in my prayers. Spend some time in the end zone, read what we post over there, it'll make you laugh, and feel better about yourself reading some of us🤣
 

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