Hotel Guarantano

#1
Elhanan

Elhanan

Ancient Orange Dragon 🐉
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
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3,015
#1
Got drunk and wrote a Hotel Guarantano parody Sunday night. I heard a few other versions but thought I'd put mine out there. Its all in good fun. Go Vols!

Feels like an endless highway
Coach without any hair
Same guy will defeat us
Lobbing balls in the air
Any win feels so distant
Every loss within sight
My heart grew heavy and my hope grew dim
Had to get drunk for the night

Through Gate Twenty One’s doorway
I heard Rocky Top swell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven but probably hell
He doesn’t have a handle
Defenses making him pay
Heard voices on Fan Run Radio
And what they had to say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
Plenty of room at the Hotel Guarantano
Any time this year (any time this year)
You’ll find us here

Our spirits broken but coach insisted
“He gives us the best chance to win”
Coach got a lot of pretty ****** staff
One he calls Will Friend
Fans gathered in the courtyard
Trash talkin’ threats
Some drink to remember
Some drink to forget

So we called the Battle Captain
"Please give us a win"
He said, "We haven't had that option here since I coached the O-line"
And still the fans are calling from far away
Keep you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
They livin' it up at the Hotel Guarantano
It was no surprise (It was no surprise)
Brought their alibis

“The floor is his’ ceiling”
The the champagne remains on ice
Caller said, "Just to get another win, I’d pay any price"
But in the broadcaster’s chambers
They gathered for defeat
Coach will never leave his side
Finishing last in the east

Last thing I remember
He was falling on the floor
Scrambling to get the ball back
To the place it was before
"Relax", said the bald man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
 
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#7
#7
Elhanan said:
Got drunk and wrote a Hotel Guarantano parody Sunday night. I heard a few other versions but thought I'd put mine out there. Its all in good fun. Go Vols!

Feels like an endless highway
Coach without any hair
Same guy will defeat us
Lobbing balls in the air
Any win feels so distant
Every loss within sight
My heart grew heavy and my hope grew dim
Had to get drunk for the night

Through Gate Twenty One’s doorway
I heard Rocky Top swell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven but probably hell
He doesn’t have a handle
Defenses making him pay
Heard voices on Fan Run Radio
And what they had to say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
Plenty of room at the Hotel Guarantano
Any time this year (any time this year)
You’ll find us here

Our spirits broken but coach insisted
“He gives us the best chance to win”
Coach got a lot of pretty ****** staff
One he calls Will Friend
Fans gathered in the courtyard
Trash talkin’ threats
Some drink to remember
Some drink to forget

So we called the Battle Captain
"Please give us a win"
He said, "We haven't had that option here since I coached the O-line"
And still the fans are calling from far away
Keep you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
They livin' it up at the Hotel Guarantano
It was no surprise (It was no surprise)
Brought their alibis

“The floor is his’ ceiling”
The the champagne remains on ice
Caller said, "Just to get another win, I’d pay any price"
But in the broadcaster’s chambers
They gathered for defeat
Coach will never leave his side
Finishing last in the east

Last thing I remember
He was falling on the floor
Scrambling to get the ball back
To the place it was before
"Relax", said the bald man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
Click to expand...

A3wj.gif
 
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#14
#14
Y’all realize you are going after the wrong person in all this, right? JG is not playing well, I think (or would hope) even he would admit this.

But what’s the dude supposed to do? Not play? He turns the ball over multiple times in the Georgia and KY games and what he hears from the coaches is “You’re still our starter Jarrett”, so is he supposed to say “No thank you, I don’t want to be your starter”?

Quit attacking JG. If you need to relentlessly bash someone, it doesn’t need to be him. He’s just on the field playing when he’s told to play. How much time he spends on the field when he’s not playing well is the coaching staff’s call, not his.
 
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#15
#15
Elhanan said:
Got drunk and wrote a Hotel Guarantano parody Sunday night. I heard a few other versions but thought I'd put mine out there. Its all in good fun. Go Vols!

Feels like an endless highway
Coach without any hair
Same guy will defeat us
Lobbing balls in the air
Any win feels so distant
Every loss within sight
My heart grew heavy and my hope grew dim
Had to get drunk for the night

Through Gate Twenty One’s doorway
I heard Rocky Top swell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven but probably hell
He doesn’t have a handle
Defenses making him pay
Heard voices on Fan Run Radio
And what they had to say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
Plenty of room at the Hotel Guarantano
Any time this year (any time this year)
You’ll find us here

Our spirits broken but coach insisted
“He gives us the best chance to win”
Coach got a lot of pretty ****** staff
One he calls Will Friend
Fans gathered in the courtyard
Trash talkin’ threats
Some drink to remember
Some drink to forget

So we called the Battle Captain
"Please give us a win"
He said, "We haven't had that option here since I coached the O-line"
And still the fans are calling from far away
Keep you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
They livin' it up at the Hotel Guarantano
It was no surprise (It was no surprise)
Brought their alibis

“The floor is his’ ceiling”
The the champagne remains on ice
Caller said, "Just to get another win, I’d pay any price"
But in the broadcaster’s chambers
They gathered for defeat
Coach will never leave his side
Finishing last in the east

Last thing I remember
He was falling on the floor
Scrambling to get the ball back
To the place it was before
"Relax", said the bald man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
Click to expand...
ms-6y47Tr.gif
 
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#18
#18
Elhanan said:
Got drunk and wrote a Hotel Guarantano parody Sunday night. I heard a few other versions but thought I'd put mine out there. Its all in good fun. Go Vols!

Feels like an endless highway
Coach without any hair
Same guy will defeat us
Lobbing balls in the air
Any win feels so distant
Every loss within sight
My heart grew heavy and my hope grew dim
Had to get drunk for the night

Through Gate Twenty One’s doorway
I heard Rocky Top swell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven but probably hell
He doesn’t have a handle
Defenses making him pay
Heard voices on Fan Run Radio
And what they had to say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
Plenty of room at the Hotel Guarantano
Any time this year (any time this year)
You’ll find us here

Our spirits broken but coach insisted
“He gives us the best chance to win”
Coach got a lot of pretty ****** staff
One he calls Will Friend
Fans gathered in the courtyard
Trash talkin’ threats
Some drink to remember
Some drink to forget

So we called the Battle Captain
"Please give us a win"
He said, "We haven't had that option here since I coached the O-line"
And still the fans are calling from far away
Keep you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
They livin' it up at the Hotel Guarantano
It was no surprise (It was no surprise)
Brought their alibis

“The floor is his’ ceiling”
The the champagne remains on ice
Caller said, "Just to get another win, I’d pay any price"
But in the broadcaster’s chambers
They gathered for defeat
Coach will never leave his side
Finishing last in the east

Last thing I remember
He was falling on the floor
Scrambling to get the ball back
To the place it was before
"Relax", said the bald man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
Click to expand...

Awesome
 
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#20
#20
Elhanan said:
Got drunk and wrote a Hotel Guarantano parody Sunday night. I heard a few other versions but thought I'd put mine out there. Its all in good fun. Go Vols!

Feels like an endless highway
Coach without any hair
Same guy will defeat us
Lobbing balls in the air
Any win feels so distant
Every loss within sight
My heart grew heavy and my hope grew dim
Had to get drunk for the night

Through Gate Twenty One’s doorway
I heard Rocky Top swell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven but probably hell
He doesn’t have a handle
Defenses making him pay
Heard voices on Fan Run Radio
And what they had to say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
Plenty of room at the Hotel Guarantano
Any time this year (any time this year)
You’ll find us here

Our spirits broken but coach insisted
“He gives us the best chance to win”
Coach got a lot of pretty ****** staff
One he calls Will Friend
Fans gathered in the courtyard
Trash talkin’ threats
Some drink to remember
Some drink to forget

So we called the Battle Captain
"Please give us a win"
He said, "We haven't had that option here since I coached the O-line"
And still the fans are calling from far away
Keep you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Guarantano
Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)
Such a lonely fate
They livin' it up at the Hotel Guarantano
It was no surprise (It was no surprise)
Brought their alibis

“The floor is his’ ceiling”
The the champagne remains on ice
Caller said, "Just to get another win, I’d pay any price"
But in the broadcaster’s chambers
They gathered for defeat
Coach will never leave his side
Finishing last in the east

Last thing I remember
He was falling on the floor
Scrambling to get the ball back
To the place it was before
"Relax", said the bald man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
Click to expand...
🤘
 
#21
#21
k-town_king said:
It's sad how obsessed some of you are with bashing the best qb we have currently.
Click to expand...
I doubt he is. When/If Bailey and Maurer get enough game time experience then we will know if they are an upgrade. Maurer’s reps last year should not be a factor so don’t bring it up.
 
#22
#22
knox-townVOL said:
Y’all realize you are going after the wrong person in all this, right? JG is not playing well, I think (or would hope) even he would admit this.

But what’s the dude supposed to do? Not play? He turns the ball over multiple times in the Georgia and KY games and what he hears from the coaches is “You’re still our starter Jarrett”, so is he supposed to say “No thank you, I don’t want to be your starter”?

Quit attacking JG. If you need to relentlessly bash someone, it doesn’t need to be him. He’s just on the field playing when he’s told to play. How much time he spends on the field when he’s not playing well is the coaching staff’s call, not his.
Click to expand...

Damn...what are you? A Don Felder fan?

In case you're not an Eagles fan....its an Eagles joke.

The Night the Eagles Imploded
 
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#25
#25
knox-townVOL said:
Y’all realize you are going after the wrong person in all this, right? JG is not playing well, I think (or would hope) even he would admit this.

But what’s the dude supposed to do? Not play? He turns the ball over multiple times in the Georgia and KY games and what he hears from the coaches is “You’re still our starter Jarrett”, so is he supposed to say “No thank you, I don’t want to be your starter”?

Quit attacking JG. If you need to relentlessly bash someone, it doesn’t need to be him. He’s just on the field playing when he’s told to play. How much time he spends on the field when he’s not playing well is the coaching staff’s call, not his.
Click to expand...
We are attacking his play and the coaches decision to not play HB or BM. As long as he plays and screws up he is fair game. Let Pruitt know that the next time you have a conversation with him.
 
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