Fill in blank: Hart's open letter to Vol fans

#26
#26
Dear Vols fans, you are crazy if you think Im going to spend $15m to buy out Dooley and his staff, what is it y'all don't understand ! :crazy: :crazy: :loco: :wacko:
 
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#27
#27
Life sucks then you're stuck with Dooley.

FxUx¢xK my life. I should've stayed in Alabama.

Dave Hart
U.T. A.D.
 
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#29
#29
Dear Vol fans,

Free brown bags with eye holes will be available beginning next week.

<3,
Hart
 
#30
#30
The University of Tennessee
Department of Athletics
Knoxville, Tennessee
05NOV12

Ref: Open Letter to Fans


Dear Big Orange Football Fans,

With this letter I apologize to you regarding my silence thus far concerning the position of Head Coach at the university of Tennessee. I wish also to apologize to Coach Derek Dooley for not making any supportive statements after the loses experienced against our fellow SEC teams.

Now, I am making it official, for the benefit of Coach Dooley and our fan base, that I have decided to ask for Coach Dooley's resignation, to be effective at the end of the regular season. I am also asking for the resignation of each assistant coach, but leave it up to our new coach, whoever that might be, to accept or reject those letters.

I have been in discussion with a number of Division 1-A NCAA coaches and coordinators, and some NFL offensive and defensive coordinators regarding the head coaching position here at the University of Tennessee. Upon the acceptance of Coach Dooley's resignation I have begun serious negotiations with the top man on our short list. Due to circumstances, I cannot disclose any names at this time, but we have one former NFL coach and four NCAA coaches on that list.

Please bear with us and be patient as we undergo this time of transition. I am not an alumni of the University, but I am being paid to oversee the athletic department, and fully intend to seek out the best coach we can hire in each coaching position - be it a head coach or an assistant. I plan to make an announcement no later than November 27, 2012 regarding the new head coach of the University of Tennessee football team, who will begin duties the day after our last regular season football game.

At this time, I would like to say "Thank you," to Mr. Haslam, Mr. Peterson, and all the other donors who have made the buyout of Coach Dooley and his assistant coaches possible, along with the first year's salaries of the new football coaching staff. Without their kind assistance, and generosity, none of this could happen.

In closing, let me say that I join with all the Volunteer football family in wishing Coach Dooley, and his family, our best wishes as he seeks his next employment opportunity.

Sincerely,

Dave hart, Director
University of Tennessee Athletics Department
 
#33
#33
I see this one of two ways;

Dear UT fans,

Sorry, but :finger3:, I'm keeping Dooley next year. I'm a Bama grad and it's not going to hurt my feelings to see UT down for another 4 or 5 years.

v/r

Dave "Roll Tide" Hart

OR

Dear UT Fans,

Effective immediately I'm canning Derek Dooley in favor of someone that can actually coach a football team. Sorry that it took me so long to inform the great fans of the Big Orange, but I've been busy lining up our new HC and trust me you will not be disappointed.

v/r

Dave "I've seen the light, Buck Fama :the_finger:" Hart
 
#34
#34
Dear Vol fans,

I will make this short and simple. In retaliation of the unscrupulous actions your former coach CPF took on the University of Florida and the University of Alabama, we decided to team up and destroy your program.

•We planted a mole, former administrator at the University of Florida Chancellor Cheek into your fine University.
•Chancellor Cheek convinced Mike Hamilton to fire CPF.
•I asked Chancellor Cheek to speak to his old “friend” from UF Lyla Kiffin and see if we could get her immature husband to coach your football team.
•We hired Lane knowing he would completely “muck” up and ignore all NCAA rules and get your program in hot water.
•We knew Lane wouldn’t stay long and hired CDD to make your program the laugh of the SEC.
•I told Mr. Cheek it was time to let ADMH go and also advised he change the admittance policy for UT athletes that would state even though a player has been cleared academically to play we don’t have to accept him. Giving other SEC schools the ability to recruit them.
•Chancellor Cheek hired me as AD, I turned down a proven Kevin Steele and went with my Alabama( buddy can’t hacket) to be sure to really mess things up and now will bring in Kirby Smart and offer him a ridiculously large contract with unbelievably favorable buyout for Kirby.

Good luck digging out of this hole for the next 30 years. Does the University of Colorado sound familiar to you all?

Roll Tide and Go Gators.

Sincerely,
David Hart

(This is just a spoof, I don’t claim any info to be true or remotely accurate.)
 
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#35
#35
We are broke just like the country, but we've got a line of credit through China that's gonna let us borrow up to 15 million at 10% interest. Since that money is available we're looking to install wind mills and solar panels on Neyland stadium and hire a GREEN coach.
 
#36
#36
Dear Vol fans,

Still checking to see how much mediocrity you will tolerate before I actually have to do my job.

Thanks,
Dave Hart
 
#37
#37
Dear Cursed Vol Fans,

Sorry, nothing I can do. Momma Davey said she will not break or remove the curse.

I am leaving this place. Good luck to you all.
:wavey:
Dave Hart.
 
#38
#38
Dear Vol Fans,

There is nothing I can say except this:

1) I fired Sal Sunseri, retroactive to the beginning of the season;
2) I fired Derek Dooley, retroactive to the day before last year's Kentucky game;
3) I did it by text message, b/c if I'm in the same room with either of those losers I'll be tempted to beat them soundly about the head and neck with an orange ceramic dog;
4) Go Vols. Please welcome Jon Gruden to the Big Orange family.

Sincerely,

Dave Hart, UTAD

ps - I also texted Jimmy Cheek that he was fired, but then I was notified by the Governor's office that I can't actually do that since he is my boss. Therefore, I resign, retroactive to 5 minutes after I signed Jon Gruden to a lifetime contract with no buyout. You're welcome.
 
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