Family Health Thread

#1

franklinpence

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#1
This conversation keeps coming up in the Recruiting Forum - Football Talk thread, so I thought I would start a thread here so folks can ask questions, offer advice or just vent.

Going to include this post to start this off. @Freak anything rules or guidelines?

Not sure how to send a private message on this site, but in a nutshell, your absolute first step is to get a durable POA immediately if you don't already have one along with a DNR if your mother has that wish.

Next find the facility you want you mother to use. They will have a staff member who can and will explain all the details to you from finances to insurance to transport. If your mother requires an ambulance for transport, that also can be arranged and in some cases covered by insurance (medicare/medicaid). I'd recommend you start visiting the facilities closest to your location and work your way out. Go online and look at the reviews. Take tour of each, see the rooms and measure them for furniture as you likely will need to furnish them yourself. Go eat a meal there, and most importantly, take note of the staff and how they relate to the current residents. Find out who the doctors are that will be providing coverage to the facility and research them and how often they visit.

Most women will want their hair and nails done even at older ages. Many facilities will have a beautician full time and an office in the facility. If not, ask about the transportation to and from the one you want to choose.

Finally, you will need to start assembling all...and I mean ALL...information on your mothers finances. Get insurance info, retirement accounts, bank accounts, home ownership, online passwords, etc...any and all investments. And if she's needing to make this transition within the next year or so, do not make any transfers of her assets to other family members. The state will have this info and it will appear you are trying to hide assets from them and that might impact her benefits.

My condolences to you during this difficult time. In the last 3 years, I've lost a mother, father and son. Know how hard this burden is for you. Lean on their staff. They will keep you from missing something.
 
#6

GAVol

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#6
Unfortunately, I know entirely too much about this topic. My Mother-in-law has been in a nursing home for 3 1/2 years and is in what are probably her final weeks with Alzheimers which she's had for 10 years. We've been her primary caregivers since my Father-in-law died unexpectedly 4 years ago.

The post quoted in the OP is excellent. Get BOTH a healthcare and a financial power of attorney and do it immediately. It's probably too late to avoid the look back period to get assets out of her name, but you need to get a handle on her finances.

This is a good resource for looking at options.
Senior Assisted Living Guides: Find Senior Care A Place for Mom

Above all else, take care of yourself. I'm finding out right now the toll a long term illness takes on caregivers and their families.
 
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#7

franklinpence

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#7
We are in the very early stages of - we’re not quite sure what. My mom died 9 yrs ago from Cancer. She kicked its ass for about 25 yrs, but she finally went to rest in 2009. My dad has struggled since then. But over the past four years, he’s started showing other issues - increasing instability walking, scripted responses, withdrawing more and more from interaction with others. Docs have pointed to various reasons, but treatments haven’t helped. At the end of November, he fell at home and hit his head. He had to have significant surgery, and once the immediate recovery completed, he moved to a rehab and physical therapy facility, where he still is today. The behaviors he was exhibiting before the fall are much worse now. Memory is in and out. Very scripted in his dialogue with others. He recognizes us and our families, but he has little patience with anyone aside from my brother and me. Refuses to accept that he is physically limited right now and continues to put himself at risk of further injuring himself. While much of this could be the result of the fall, my brother and I think we could be looking at dementia/Alzheimer’s. We have an appointment with a doc later this month to begin that assessment. Not sure what that looks like, but the past 7-weeks have been eye-opening. The constant care and support is exhausting. We have a POA in place and have started the process for setting up trusts, etc., but I know there’s a good bit ahead of us. Have always appreciated you folks sharing what you’re going through. Praying for all of you.
 
#8

rekinhavoc

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#8
Unfortunately, I know entirely too much about this topic. My Mother-in-law has been in a nursing home for 3 1/2 years and is in what are probably her final weeks with Alzheimers which she's had for 10 years. We've been her primary caregivers since my Father-in-law died unexpectedly 4 years ago.

The post quoted in the OP is excellent. Get BOTH a healthcare and a financial power of attorney and do it immediately. It's probably too late to avoid the look back period to get assets out of her name, but you need to get a handle on her finances.

This is a good resource for looking at options.
Senior Assisted Living Guides: Find Senior Care A Place for Mom

Above all else, take care of yourself. I'm finding out right now the toll a long term illness takes on caregivers and their families.
Wife called A Place For Mom today.
 
#11

rekinhavoc

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#11
Update: We believe a lot of her issues were med related. Seems to be improving. Met with neurologist and he told us she did have "cognitive impairment". She insisted on meeting with him alone first so I am not sure if she talked him into using "cognitive impairment" as opposed to dementia/Alzheimers. Still need to move her closer.
Makes awful financial decisions and makes odd purchases like buying four of everything. Not 100% she can maintain her meds properly which was and is a huge part of the problem.

Gonna start with independent living .
 
#12

VolNExile

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#12
Update: We believe a lot of her issues were med related. Seems to be improving. Met with neurologist and he told us she did have "cognitive impairment". She insisted on meeting with him alone first so I am not sure if she talked him into using "cognitive impairment" as opposed to dementia/Alzheimers. Still need to move her closer.
Makes awful financial decisions and makes odd purchases like buying four of everything. Not 100% she can maintain her meds properly which was and is a huge part of the problem.

Gonna start with independent living .
Keep an eye on the med management question.

If she can’t handle them (including properly taking meds that you or someone else sets up in a pill organizer), she is probably closer to an assisted living level of care.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. My mother-in-law is in the moderate stage of dementia, probably Alzheimer’s, and my mother is starting down the path with memory problems due to untreated hypertension. It ain’t easy.
 
#13

rekinhavoc

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#13
Keep an eye on the med management question.

If she can’t handle them (including properly taking meds that you or someone else sets up in a pill organizer), she is probably closer to an assisted living level of care.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. My mother-in-law is in the moderate stage of dementia, probably Alzheimer’s, and my mother is starting down the path with memory problems due to untreated hypertension. It ain’t easy.
Same here thank you. Gonna see how she does real easy to tell if she isn't taking them correctly.
 

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