This is as short as I could get this after 4 attempts
Was going to post this Tuesday evening. Opened the thread to find Emma had passed away suddenly. Out of respect for her, I waited
Never disliked cats but was never much of a cat person till this little guy changed all that in October 2006 when I took him in as a very young stray. Vet estimated him at 2 months old then. Truly a blessing he was for nearly 15 years. Called him Yee Yee. An inside only Tabby, neutered & de-clawed fronts.
He’s the only pet I’ve had from beginning to end that was actually mine.
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Held him in my arms inside his living room at his home Friday, 6.25.2021 telling him I loved him as he took his last breath from a shot at 6:45 pm. He was completely deaf. So glad I held him at the end. Didn’t think I could do it at first but as I kept looking at him, talking to him & rubbing him as he was lying there so helpless struggling to hang on as his time was drawing closer, I knew I needed to hold him.
It was my first time having to make a very humbling humanely decision for the use of shots. I have absolutely no regrets and I say this with deep compassion. The end result for my little guy was going to be the same with or without them. I did not want to do this…..I had to. He was in his thirteenth day without eating & his body was shutting down. I was with him the entire time when it started watching this happen.
As an animal lover, I was hoping for a miracle that didn’t happen & the shots were my very last resort as I couldn't keep him alive just for me.
He had a mass in his stomach & by the time it was discovered it was too late. Dr. didn’t think he would make it thru surgery because of his age & current condition. Asked the doctor “if that were your baby lying there, what would you do”? He answered the same thing. I felt very comfortable with the doctor, questioned him & trusted him. I had to.
Several “what if’s” wanting to linger around that I still think about.
Dr. wanted to do it on Thursday, 6.24.2021 at the clinic while we were there. I asked him about a private setting in my little guy’s normal environment. He checked & around 5:30pm on Friday 6.25.2021 at my home was set. I paid for everything in advance at the vet’s office.
Vet office called Friday at 4:10pm; Dr. had an emergency surgery & would be late but was coming. This hurt, my little guy was barely there & I thought I was going to have to watch him go on his own. His condition had worsened a lot at this point from what it was at the beginning of the day. He was still there but very weak.
Had him in the living room in a widow seat bed I made him with soft jazz playing & a slideshow of him on the tv. None of this mattered to him. I just wanted the environment calming. Probably more for me as I was tired, sad & confused.
Vet & technician arrived about 6:35pm. Dr. asked where I wanted it to take place. Said I was going to hold him.
Asked the dr. what to expect while holding him, asked how long after the sedative shot until the final shot & asked how long for final to take effect. Was concerned he might spasm & wanted to be prepared. Dr. said he wouldn’t. Dr. said as long as I needed after the sedative shot before the final. Said he would go quickly after the final.
Picked my little guy up into my arms & he felt so lifeless. Asked the technician if she would take some pictures with me holding him, she did.
Vet then injected the sedative shot in his left hip as I held him. I looked down into his glassy blank stare eyes & told him I loved him. Told Dr I was ready. He shaved a small patch on top his lower front left leg to find the vein. Dr, had trouble locating the vein because of his state. Said he might have to try another leg but then he found it.
Dr. asked if I was ready, I said yes. Watched the needle go into his vein about a foot in front of me while telling him I loved him the final time. His breathing was so shallow by then that I did not feel his last breath. Felt no change in his body either. He went very fast…seconds. Dr. checked his heart & said he was gone. Two small air pockets come from his mouth about 15 seconds apart while still holding him. Dr said that was normal. Asked the technician if she would take some pictures with me holding him, she did. I then laid him on the couch. I thanked them as they hugged me & told me they were so sorry. They left.
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So very thankful I had that extra day with him. He was not in any pain, was drinking water & getting around ok once he got up & started moving on Thursday. That extra day allowed us to be together the entire day on Friday. Such a sweet time it was & memory it will be.
Took him outside & laid him in the grass, set him in all his widow seats with the widows up, lay with him on the couch rubbing & talking to him, held his water bowl while he drank on the couch. Wanted to hold him more but his body was just getting weaker & frail as time went on that day. Took a lot of pictures of him & a lot of videos of me talking to him. Video at 6:32 pm where I’m rubbing him, told him goodbye & I loved him was the last video of him alive.
Little guy was really special, so sweet & very affectionate, loved to play, simple and just a lot of fun. He had never had a human & I had never had a cat. We had to figure out & learn each other’s expectations. He loved lying in the sun in the windows & really knew how to chill. His coat & markings were beautiful especially when he was younger. We bonded every day with our best time in the evenings. I loved the little guy dearly & he loved me back just the same. He was the perfect for me and we were good for each other.
Have his body prepped & it’s preserved now. I clipped some of his coat & whiskers to keep. Soon I’ll lay him in his final resting place in a cemetery on a friend’s family farm about a 100 miles east of Memphis. Same place I expect to be. If I can’t find him a headstone or marker I like, I’ll make him one.
I have cried about this many times & will continue to do so until I don’t. I loved him & we were a big part of each other for a lot of years. This is without a doubt……. the hardest part of the animal/human relationship. It’s a lot tougher than I ever expected.
The good from all this…. so very thankful I was blessed to have him the nearly 15 years, all the fun we had & smiles he brought me & to be with him at the end. He taught me to look at cats differently & now I do
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