Can Rod Wilkes play LB?

#1
huskyvol

huskyvol

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
1,461
Likes
252
#1
Just want to lighten things up around here with a RW thread. There has been alot of hostility on here between us Vol fans, so everybody post more thoughts on Rod to make each other laugh. Some times we just need to lighten up a bit so remember, In Rod We Trust!
 
#5
#5
huskyvol said:
Just want to lighten things up around here with a RW thread. There has been alot of hostility on here between us Vol fans, so everybody post more thoughts on Rod to make each other laugh. Some times we just need to lighten up a bit so remember, In Rod We Trust!
Click to expand...

I am fairly new here and want to know what the deal is with all the Rod Wilks jokes. Could someone please explain why his name pops up in so many threads?
 
#8
#8
It would be unfair to the opposing team to play Wilks, Slive would strip us of all W's for having an unfair advantage. Currently RW is the whole scout team for our offense and defense to practice against while CLK and the attorneys are trying to figure out how to make it legal to play RW and the W's count for the university and not for RW.
 
#9
#9
GmanTN said:
It would be unfair to the opposing team to play Wilks, Slive would strip us of all W's for having an unfair advantage. Currently RW is the whole scout team for our offense and defense to practice against while CLK and the attorneys are trying to figure out how to make it legal to play RW and the W's count for the university and not for RW.
Click to expand...

yeah but with him on the field the zebras would be terrified to throw those "magic" flags. they would stay in there pockets in fear for what he would do to them
 
#10
#10
Rod Wilks' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Rod Wilks can kill him and take it.



Rod Wilks once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.



Rod Wilks doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



If you ask Rod Wilks what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.



Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Rod Wilks instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.



Rod Wilks sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Rod roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.


Rod Wilks does not sleep. He waits.





Rod Wilks built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Rod met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.



There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Rod Wilks .



To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Rod Wilks smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.



The chief export of Rod Wilks is pain.





Rod Wilks recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.



Rod Wilks is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.



When Rod Wilks plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.




When Rod Wilks sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.Rod Wilks has not had to pay taxes ever.




Rod Wilks once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that actually is "his" way.



Rod Wilks has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 2003 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.



Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rod Wilks pajamas.



It takes Rod Wilks 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.





Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Wilktatorship.



When Rod Wilks falls in water, Rod Wilks doesn't get wet. Water gets Rod Wilks.



If you can see Rod Wilks, Rod Wilks can see you. If you can't see him, you may be seconds away from death



There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of species that Rod Wilks has allowed to survive.



Once Rod Wilks went to the Superbowl. He beat the Steelers 45 Ð 3.



Rod Wilks never wears a motorcycle helmet. The concrete always scoots out of the way.



They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Unless Rod Wilks is on the other side, in which case the grass is soaked with blood and tears.



=Rod Wilks grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.





Rod Wilks has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.






Rod Wilks bends light through sheer willpower.




Rod Wilks came to my BBQ last summer, ate all the red hot charcoal out of the grill and then proceeded to fart out large diamonds for the ladies in the awe-struck crowd.



The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Rod Wilks and forgot to pay him back.



Rod Wilks is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.



Rod Wilks played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.



Rod Wilks can divide by zero.



Darkness is not the absence of light. It is the presence of Rod Wilks.



The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Rod Wilks punched himself in the face.



Rod Wilks has two speeds: walk and kill.



You are what you eat. That is why Rod Wilks' diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.



In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Rod Wilks, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.



Rod Wilks can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.



Rod Wilks is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's hassles.





Rod Wilks once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.



Rod Wilks invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.



On his birthday, Rod Wilks randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.





When Rod Wilks needs new clothes, he stares down raw textiles. They become terrified and weave themselves into garments.



Rod Wilks once ate a RubricÕs Cube, and pooped it out solved.





Black holes are stars hiding from the gaze of Rod Wilks.



Rod Wilks doesn't dance. Because if he did, the space-time continuum would rip, and all life on Earth would cease.



and Finally!!



Rod Wilks CAN believe it's not butter!!!
 
#19
#19
The only bad thing about Rod Wilks being on the field is that Eric Berry has no chance to get his interception return record.
 
#24
#24
When ESPN rated Rod Wilks they took their top 150 prospects and added their scores together to get Rods.
 
#25
#25
Rev_AlWilson98 said:
Rod Wilks' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Rod Wilks can kill him and take it.



Rod Wilks once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.



Rod Wilks doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



If you ask Rod Wilks what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.



Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Rod Wilks instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.



Rod Wilks sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Rod roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.


Rod Wilks does not sleep. He waits.





Rod Wilks built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Rod met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.



There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Rod Wilks .



To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Rod Wilks smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.



The chief export of Rod Wilks is pain.





Rod Wilks recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.



Rod Wilks is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.



When Rod Wilks plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.




When Rod Wilks sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.Rod Wilks has not had to pay taxes ever.




Rod Wilks once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that actually is "his" way.



Rod Wilks has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 2003 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.



Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rod Wilks pajamas.



It takes Rod Wilks 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.





Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Wilktatorship.



When Rod Wilks falls in water, Rod Wilks doesn't get wet. Water gets Rod Wilks.



If you can see Rod Wilks, Rod Wilks can see you. If you can't see him, you may be seconds away from death



There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of species that Rod Wilks has allowed to survive.



Once Rod Wilks went to the Superbowl. He beat the Steelers 45 Ð 3.



Rod Wilks never wears a motorcycle helmet. The concrete always scoots out of the way.



They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Unless Rod Wilks is on the other side, in which case the grass is soaked with blood and tears.



=Rod Wilks grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.





Rod Wilks has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.






Rod Wilks bends light through sheer willpower.




Rod Wilks came to my BBQ last summer, ate all the red hot charcoal out of the grill and then proceeded to fart out large diamonds for the ladies in the awe-struck crowd.



The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Rod Wilks and forgot to pay him back.



Rod Wilks is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.



Rod Wilks played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.



Rod Wilks can divide by zero.



Darkness is not the absence of light. It is the presence of Rod Wilks.



The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Rod Wilks punched himself in the face.



Rod Wilks has two speeds: walk and kill.



You are what you eat. That is why Rod Wilks' diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.



In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Rod Wilks, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.



Rod Wilks can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.



Rod Wilks is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's hassles.





Rod Wilks once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.



Rod Wilks invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.



On his birthday, Rod Wilks randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.





When Rod Wilks needs new clothes, he stares down raw textiles. They become terrified and weave themselves into garments.



Rod Wilks once ate a RubricÕs Cube, and pooped it out solved.





Black holes are stars hiding from the gaze of Rod Wilks.



Rod Wilks doesn't dance. Because if he did, the space-time continuum would rip, and all life on Earth would cease.



and Finally!!



Rod Wilks CAN believe it's not butter!!!
Click to expand...

you sir, are a legend!!!!!!
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.
Advertisement



Back
Top