Anybody Got Any Good Toasts?

[GoDucks349]

This was told to me by an 85 year old woman in a nursing facility.

"One is my limit, two at the most, three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host."

 

[Toujours Pret]

Here's to the girl I got it from.
Here's to me for being so dumb
I hope she's around when I get well
'Cause I'll catch it again sure as hell

 

[BAJAvol]

A poor man lives in the forest
A Rich man lives by the the sea
But a whiskey glass, and a fat girls a**
Sounds like home sweet home to me

 

[n_huffhines]

The one in my rotation that hasn't been brought up:

Here's to you, and here's to me
Never better friends will be
And if we ever disagree
**** you, here's to me

 

[Jackcrevol]

Wife just bought pumpernickel. not a fan normally, pretty legit.

 

[tbh]

Here's to the breezes
that blow through the trees(es)
and lift the pretty girls' skirts
well above their knees(es)
revealing a sight
that teases and pleases...

Oh what a (redacted)
Down the hatch!

 

[theFallGuy]

May the wings of liberty never lose a feather

wtf

 

[IBlvNTmWrk]

This is a nice toast for newlyweds, and said best in an Irish accent...

Here's to the night when the lights are low
You're belly to belly, and toe to toe
And after a moment of sweet delight
You're fanny to fanny the rest of the night.

 

[C-south]

Over the lips and through the gums look out stomach cause here it comes.

 

[orangebloodgmc]

Over the lips and through the gums look out stomach cause here it comes.

This was an Alabama toast, as no teeth were mentioned at all.

 

[ATCVolinmn]

Some men live for honor
Sime men die for honor
But when i get honor
I stay on honor

If life is a waste of time
And time is a waste of life
Let all get wasted and have the time of our lives