a guy was driving....

[orange parmejohn]

a guy was driving down the highway in Alabama and passed a car pulled over on the side of the road. there was a bouquet of flowers laying behind the car and a man was laying another bouquet of flowers in front of the car. the guy was curious enough, that he turned around and drove back to the scene. he asked the man "whats going on here?" the man replies"got a flat." the guy asks "so whats with the flowers?" the guy says "i heard that when ye broke down, ye sposed to put flares in front of the car and flares behind the car, i never really understood it, either.":birgits_giggle:

 

[orange parmejohn]

a guy gets pulled over in Alabama for speeding. the state trooper asks him, "do you have any I.D.?" the guy says, "bout whut?"

 

[orange parmejohn]

a golf course owner in Alabama was confused over payment on an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary. he called her into his office and says" you graduated from the University of Alabama, i have a math question for you. if i pay you $20,000 minus 14%, how much will you take off?" the secretary replies, " every -thing but my earrings.":birgits_giggle:

 

[rbroyles]

Good ones Orange P:

A very prominent attorney in Alabama was hunting ducks near the Tennessee border when a duck he shot fell in Tennessee. He started to cross over to retreive it, but was stopped by the farmer who owned the land. The attorney said I need to get my duck. The farmer says that's not your duck it's on my land, it's my duck now. The attorney said in his most pompous courtroom voice, "I'll have you know I'm the best lawyer in Alabama, and I'll sue you for a fortune if you persist." The farmer says,"that's not how we settle things, we use the three kick rule". The attorney asks what's that, and the farmer explains that each takes a turn kicking the other three times and whoever gives up loses. Well the farmer was about 80 so the attorney figures he can easily win. He tells the farmer to go first, and the farmer first kicks him in the ribs cracking one, the second kick is in the groin making the attorney bend over in agony, the third is in the mouth knocking out 3 teeth and laying him out on the ground. When he finally can speak he says I'm going to kick your ass to Tuscaloosa. The farmer says never mind, I give up you can have the duck.