11 Defenses to Florida's 3rd Championship

#3
#3
15. The only reason Florida even has Tennessee natives Corey Brewer or Lee Humphrey on its basketball team is because former Tennessee coach Buzz Peterson was such a bad recruiter, he couldn't convince teenage boys to come to Knoxville for an orgy starring Gisele Bundchen and her five sisters.
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:lolabove: x2
 
#4
#4
We get it, Greg Oden is a good basketball player. Aside from watching him do women's diving scissor kicks after each dunk (how is this not a technical?),
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:lolabove: x3
 
#5
#5
I realy like this one

"Championships don't count when you get to play the Ohio State Losers in the championship game. "
 
#7
#7
If Ohio State was in the SEC, it'd be just another school. Slotted somewhere in the Ole Miss or South Carolina conference range. High dreams, committed fans, but schools that the stars have to perfectly align every 30 years or so for championships to happen.
But fortunately for Ohio State (it doesn't deserve to be referred to with a capitalized The) it's in the Big 10. Which means we have to hear about the Buckeyes all year until they advance to the championship game and come up woefully short. Except, that is, for when they employ felons at running back who are currently serving jail time, and don't have to play any SEC teams in bowl games.
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:birgits_giggle:
 
#8
#8
5. During the game, I turned to my friend Junaid after we had both received six taunting text messages in a row from Florida grad Neville and said, "Can we mention that the Lady Vols are in the women's basketball final as a defense?" Before he could even respond, my wife said, "Maybe UT needs to start a women's football team too so they can win." Both of us were utterly defeated and speechless.
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:lolabove:
 
#9
#9
You gotta love these.


9. Championships don't matter when every coed at your school has fat arms.


12. My favorite part of the Final Four? When CBS had to go to commercial because the Florida girls with fat arms were rioting over the Georgia Dome selling out of cinnamon and sugar funnel cakes. :eek:lol:
 
#10
#10
VolBeef88 said:
You gotta love these.


9. Championships don't matter when every coed at your school has fat arms.


12. My favorite part of the Final Four? When CBS had to go to commercial because the Florida girls with fat arms were rioting over the Georgia Dome selling out of cinnamon and sugar funnel cakes. :eek:lol:
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He also wrote this....

Ranking the girls of the SEC
(yes quality journalism I know, but it keeps me quite entertained!!)

11. Florida: It all comes back to the extra six to eight pounds of weight on the back of the arms. The pork-loined shoulders factor. The best thing that can be said for Florida girls is that Erin Andrews once went there. The second best thing is that they are doubtlessly always carrying snacks in their oversized purses.
Actually, one of the undergrad girls I met on campus told me that as Florida's selectivity as a university has increased, their female attractiveness has decreased. Who knows? Winning two national championships in nine months probably makes making out with a fat girl not so bad. At least as long as your fingers don't get lost in the arm fat. Gross. Having said all this, if Tim Tebow were a woman, I'd rank them No. 1.
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#11
#11
5. During the game, I turned to my friend Junaid after we had both received six taunting text messages in a row from Florida grad Neville and said, "Can we mention that the Lady Vols are in the women's basketball final as a defense?" Before he could even respond, my wife said, "Maybe UT needs to start a women's football team too so they can win." Both of us were utterly defeated and speechless


...OUCH.....
 
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