Random Thoughts XXXII

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#8,608
#8,608
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.

Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."

"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.

"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"
 
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#8,609
#8,609
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it's a beaver, Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out.”
 
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#8,610
#8,610
Guy says I'm so gonna get fired.

Girl says, why is that?

Guy says, I fawked 3 of my patients.

Girl replies, who cares my brothers a dr he does it all the time.

Guy asks, yeah but is he a veterinarian?
 
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#8,613
#8,613
Guys wakes up in the middle of the night, rolls over to his wife and says, "hey honey wanna have sex?"

"I can't I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow." She responds

The guy thinks for a minute, and asks, "do you have a dentist appointment?"
 
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#8,615
#8,615
Funny how a man can get lost in his polishing. Somehow I ended up in bed before the job was done. Maybe I should drink less whiskey while polishing.
 
#8,622
#8,622
C-town Vol said:
hahaha.....

new to these parts.

sup
Click to expand...

In the past we would all tell you to stfu and gtfo. Some still may. Eventually we'd accept that you're not leaving and start talking to you. Before you knew it you'd be telling some newbie to gtfo.

However, lately we've been encouraged to "keep it classy or gtfo" so we have to be more creative in our hazing.
 
#8,623
#8,623
orangeslice13 said:
In the past we would all tell you to stfu and gtfo. Some still may. Eventually we'd accept that you're not leaving and start talking to you. Before you knew it you'd be telling some newbie to gtfo.

However, lately we've been encouraged to "keep it classy or gtfo" so we have to be more creative in our hazing.
Click to expand...

Apparently I missed a meeting. When did this keep it classy ruling come down?
 
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