The Ask Doyle Anything Squatchy Thread

#26
#26
Doyle, is it true that "squatch" secretly want to take over the world. I myself had a squatch sighting in late 97 at the Soddy Daisy Walmart. Scary s***!
 
#29
#29
Just one sighting there? I would expect seeing one every time you enter.
I think over time, you become numb to the nightmare that resides inside our local walmarts.
 

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#30
#30
Doyle, is it true that "squatch" secretly want to take over the world. I myself had a squatch sighting in late 97 at the Soddy Daisy Walmart. Scary s***!

The Squatch has no interest in world domination. This is a trait that only humans posses. The Squatch chooses only to exsist in its habitat and be left alone. This being said, your "sighting" at Wal-Mart was a case of mistaken identity. Squatches would not be seen in an establishment like Wal-Mart because the Squatch is a very anti-corporate species.
 
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#33
#33
Doyle,

I heard that if you leave 2 bottles of Jack and a hair pick in the woods, Squatches will keep you safe. Is that true?
 
#34
#34
Doyle,

I heard that if you leave 2 bottles of Jack and a hair pick in the woods, Squatches will keep you safe. Is that true?

This is true to a certain extent. The only problem with it is once the Squatch gets drunk you run the risk of him stabbing you with the hair pick.
 
#36
#36
Doyle,



Is there actually a squatch in these, or any other woods? I'm not sold.

Well, Jesus, I had this same question come up a few months ago and I will attempt to explain it to you the same as I did then.

I am sure you are familiar with the term "Jedi Mindtrick". Squatches have an ability quite similar to this.

Lets say you are walking in the woods and see a Squatch out of the corner of your eye.
"There is a Squatch!" You might say.
"I am a tree." The Squatch would respond.
"Silly me, it 'twas but a tree. Lol!" You would then say and believe and resume on your way.

So, to answer your question; yes there are Squatches in these woods. If you want to see them, do not let them see you.
 
#37
#37
Damn Squatch stole one of my beers.

Sasquatch+copy.jpg
 
#40
#40
Well, Jesus, I had this same question come up a few months ago and I will attempt to explain it to you the same as I did then.

I am sure you are familiar with the term "Jedi Mindtrick". Squatches have an ability quite similar to this.

Lets say you are walking in the woods and see a Squatch out of the corner of your eye.
"There is a Squatch!" You might say.
"I am a tree." The Squatch would respond.
"Silly me, it 'twas but a tree. Lol!" You would then say and believe and resume on your way.

So, to answer your question; yes there are Squatches in these woods. If you want to see them, do not let them see you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVv99M1fqYg[/youtube]
 
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#43
#43
Doyle,

I think I am ready to go search. I have 3 bottles of Jack (2 for Squatch and 1 for the search party). Should I start in Sequatchie County? Is this a sacred area for Squatches?
 
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