OldTimer’s Dugout - General Topics, Chat, Random Photos and Memes.......No Politics

#137,203
#137,203
Volprofch05 said:
There’s a difference between making a decision for your future versus tucking tail because you think you were wronged. He knew he would be a starter here the next year, and likely would’ve gone high in the draft anyways, but was too butt hurt over being sent to the pen, which was the right decision. That’s just how I see it, and he doesn’t and shouldn’t know or care what some rando in the dugout thinks.

Plus, since you mentioned it, I have in fact sacrificed my own self interests for the good of others/the collective numerous times in my career, because it was the right thing to do. There are people out there who do that sort of thing.
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Well aren't you just the best person in the World...🙋
 
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#137,208
#137,208
TN Jed said:
Hey dugout.....quck-ish question for ya...since there's a lot of old, wise men here(maybe some ladies too)....what can I do about a gal that's perpetually late? Like , every time. Doesn't matter if it's a date with me, a doctor, nail appointment...whatever. drives me nuts. She's a sweetheart, and really good lookin', but it is driving me nuts. I'm at witts end.
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Tell me the address of Witt's End and I'll come take her off your hands.
 
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#137,223
#137,223
Weezer said:
Wait.... Did I miss the old people sex?
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Well, I *may* have conflated a few conversations......but it made it more interesting.....

MAD said:
Last resort, threaten to cut off sex.
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W.TN.Orange Blood said:
What's sex when you're old & married? That dog doesn't run anymore.
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BruisedOrange said:
It'll be an upgrade from the usual cactus.
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W.TN.Orange Blood said:
I don't even get that anymore. ;)
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#137,224
#137,224
TN Jed said:
Hey dugout.....quck-ish question for ya...since there's a lot of old, wise men here(maybe some ladies too)....what can I do about a gal that's perpetually late? Like , every time. Doesn't matter if it's a date with me, a doctor, nail appointment...whatever. drives me nuts. She's a sweetheart, and really good lookin', but it is driving me nuts. I'm at witts end.
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There's often a passive-aggressive motive for lateness. She could have had a drill sergeant father, or a mom who, for reasons that aren't great memories, had to get everyone up and out like a machine. So she may associate timeliness with all negatives.

For others, it's like ADD and getting lost in moments--a symptom of an unhealthy brain chemistry.

I'll add, there's a disturbing statistical correlation between habitual lateness that comes from ignoring the clock, and insanity in later life. I've known lots of people who would set their clock ahead several minutes in order to arrive on time. I knew one who, by her 60s, was setting her clock 60 minutes ahead! At that point, I think you're beginning to dissociate from reality.
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Relationship advice: invest in relationships that are truth-capable. If you have to hide, deceive, or lie to continue a relationship, you'd be better off alone.

Realize that by now, she's heard it all before about her tardiness.

So have an honest (but non-judgmental) conversation. But start it with I want to understand, not condemn. I like you, and I want to invest in this relationship. Help me understand your relationship with the clock, and the feelings you go through when you're supposed to be somewhere at a certain time. Help me understand what you experience.

Now, chances are, NOT thinking about it is how she got into this pattern. A lifestyle that avoids anxiety may be how she navigates life.

So she probably won't respond to your request with anything. If so, follow with "How important for you is it to have relationships of trust in your life? Is that near the top of your list?"

If her response is along the lines of "I value people who accept me as I am," and exhibits a sort of defiant independence... well, she's not yet relationship-capable. But if you come to that conclusion and realize you need to step away from her chaos, please do invest in her future as a person and take the time to explain why you're leaving.

Because someday she may want a real life, and if she doesn't heal, she's gonna get hooked up with a co-dependent who enables her dysfunction--which sounds okay... until children are brought into the home. I'd say invest in her now because another generation doesn't need to suffer, and the rest of the world won't enjoy dealing with them.
IMHO.

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