1. Find Jesus before you report to the first T-Box. And don't try to be cute and inventive. He's heard all the words.
2. I like Danl's take. That's funny.
3. I was pretty decent. 11 handicap on a 142 Slope Rated course. Meaning pretty darn difficult, so I did OK in the big picture. Not so great in my golfing circle. Which was prob a 20+ golfer group of scratch and low single handicappers. Soooo...Just learn and play for fun. most folks think they should be pro by their 3rd time out.
4. Even playing just for fun, maybe get a couple beginner lessons just to get the gist of what's going on in the golf swing and basic ball striking.
5. Wear the short golf skirts. No one will know or care if you made par.