So…..I’m doing pretty well all in all. I still see DrM every other week. And getting help for the demons that have taunted me for as long as I can remember has been the best thing I’ve done for myself maybe ever. There’s been a paradigm shift in my life that is rather interesting. Sports and being a fan. The thrill of victory…..someone else’s victory……has been diminished. That joy has been reduced to the level of a good movie. The sting of defeat…..other people’s defeat……has been reduced to the time it takes to turn off the TV. It turns out that everything is bull ****. Every goal, every deadline, every desire is a false construct all too often placed on you by someone else, but ultimately made up in your own mind. The joy of life is all around you. What’s important in that moment is the beauty you recognize. What you choose to recognize. It’s important to take stock of that and honestly decide for yourself what desires deserve your attention.
Solomon says that it’s all Bull ****. It’s all made up.
Turns out I believe him.
“Futility of futilities,” says the Preacher,
“Futility of futilities! All is futility.”
3 What advantage does a person have in all his work
Which he does under the sun?
4 A generation goes and a generation comes,
But the earth [
a]remains forever.
5 Also, the sun rises and the sun sets;
And [
b]hurrying to its place it rises there
again.
6 [
c]Blowing toward the south,
Then turning toward the north,
The wind continues [
d]swirling along;
And on its circular courses the wind returns.
7 All the rivers [
e]flow into the sea,
Yet the sea is not full.
To the place where the rivers [
f]flow,
There they [
g]flow again.
8 All things are wearisome;
No one can tell
it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor is the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been, it is what will be,
And what has been done, it is what will be done.
So there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one might say,
“See this, it is new”?
It has already existed for ages
Which were before us.
11 There is no remembrance of the [
h]earlier things,
And of the later things as well, which will occur,
There will be no remembrance of them
Among those who will come later
still.
Shabbat shalom my friends