Official Jon Gruden Thread 30

[ATPVol]

The team he beat in the Super Bowl was his team from the year before... I wonder who signed all that talent...lol gtfo

And who was coaching the team that got hosed by the Tuck rule when the Patriots cheated their way to First Super Bowl...that would be Jon Gruden’s Raiders.

Soon my friends, Soon!

 

[TruVolGritt]

Ok . That's dumb. No time to play patty cake in this preschool,I got a life and a job. Was desperately hoping to find reason to have hope. So the threads just people trying yo be funny? Really zero substance? That's kinda pathetic

I've been lurking, sometimes posting, mostly hoping since 2012.
The time is now....we like our thread so if you don't GTFO!

And I'm 100% in that means go or blow babyyyy

 

[Big Orange Rock]

I actuallyread back about 20 Pages my guy . wasted about 30 minutes looking at pictures of the Middle East and gifs from 80s movies. If you can find anything of substance in "the last few pages" then I'll chip in 10 grand on the butch buy out myself

We all had to look at the same stuff. I rather enjoyed quite a bit of it. Especially the part that wasted your time with people posting pictures of the Middle East when they were serving for your right to come in here being a prick.

 

[Doyle Hargraves]

Ok . That's dumb. No time to play patty cake in this preschool,I got a life and a job. Was desperately hoping to find reason to have hope. So the threads just people trying yo be funny? Really zero substance? That's kinda pathetic

 

[MaTaLa]

Obviously. Its all parody and snark?

Obviously you're a wuckfit that's too far off the spectrum to interact.

Too bad.

 

[HearForGrumors]

I actuallyread back about 20 Pages my guy . wasted about 30 minutes looking at pictures of the Middle East and gifs from 80s movies. If you can find anything of substance in "the last few pages" then I'll chip in 10 grand on the butch buy out myself

So, you read well less than 10% of what was posted in the 30th iteration of the Gruden Threads and expected to glean all the important information.

Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I do recommend starting at the beginning and skipping through pretty aggressively. I find that the important info gets quoted a handful of times in replies. If you do that, you'll catch up to where we all are.

 

[VolNExile]

* sigh *

The Grude News, the morning edition. For those just joining us...

Well, we managed to make it like at least...a while without a catastrophic meltdown since the last update. Which is a good thing considering how regularly scheduled the crazy was the past few weeks. And of course, by saying that I probably invited the crazy to roll back in. My bad in advance.

I will hand it to the Beaver, he stepped up and helped Vols in need via this forum. Most places call that a righteous dude. Bravo sir. And it spurred additional posters stepping up to help those in need. Whether or not folks think us crazy for believing in the Gruden, we are a community that will help each other without hesitation.

Though the Night Shift has been slacking as of late. Only a hundred posts or so last night after midnight. Shame on you people. And you call yourselves Grudenites... We should get Escape Goat in here to teach you all how to do it. What's that? EG is missing too? Well, this is awkward...

Speaking of awkward. The whole ESPN truck thing just didn't pan out. Even truck drivers have to have a place to spend the night, folks. Let's dial the Hardy Boys adventures back juuuuuuust a tad. There's a fine line between fun and excessive creepy bunny boiler status. Some of ya'll are straddling that line.

We got onto a Pokemon Go conversation somehow. And it got slightly odd. We'll leave it at that, but I will say someone's mod campaign should be put on hold until it's determined if he's actually joking about being over 30 and playing Pokemon Go.

Last full day for Doyle's poor, battered Grudometer. It's already put out a Craigslist ad seeking a new home and promised to upgrade its announcement music to something other than the Spice Girls when Gruden is announced. The Grudometer has suggested possibly "counseling" and time apart without an official separation.

No real updates from any of our regular info sources. DTO, Boro, SC, Beaver and Atlanta have all gone into deep silence mode. From lack of info? Maybe. I'll remain positive and say "no news is good news" for the status of the hunt.

In other news today, it was announced voice overs for the forum posting will be put on indefinite hold due to the ongoing strike of actors contracted for the positions. Actor Samuel L. Jackson was quoted as saying "Why the **** does this stupid **** keep saying ****ing asterisk when I plainly ****ing say ****?!" Sandra Bullock, voicing for SmokingBob, was released from her contract for repeating "that gaudy orange is not in my color wheel" at the end of every post. Also, Gerard Butler was puzzled by his representation of Comb and having to use his King Leonidas voice for every post of "Gruden...to...the...Hill!"

Additionally, actors were complaining of harassment by several of their online counterparts. Justin Beiber made the statement "it's hard to get everything down right when that Behr guy is pounding on your door at all hours yelling 'I just wanna be friends! We can hang out!' It's not that I don't want this gig, but I really can't take that pressure." Additionally, James Earl Jones said his lines were "too bland" and asked why he was limited to only saying "You just made the list" in his Darth Vader voice for nearly every post.

Furthermore, Chris Hemsworth walked off the set when Volly and SFD were found violating their restraining orders and were discovered hiding behind potted plants with large cheesy grins. Security escorted the pair out of the studio, but not before noting "potted plants typically don't move under their own power from place to place nor do they giggle." Negotiations were ongoing and an additional battalion of security was ordered before the cost overrides put a hold on the project.

From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!








(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)

 

[Hammer85]

No. Really im not I'm just asking where this wrap-up is?

The wrap up is.......GTFO.

 

[rocytop2624]

Sup, brah?

Soon!

 

[ochocinco]

I get upset when people come in here and insult everyone "the I have a job and ****". It's Grandvol.... I think

I'm sorry you don't have a job. I can get you some work in Murfreesboro

 

[NapTownVol9]

She has a limp bird.

Limp Bird

 

[MaTaLa]

We need a "FREAK SWEEP" soon....

 

[85SugarVol]

ESPN layoffs: 100-plus staffers, on-air talent cuts near | SI.com

Hope Jemelle Hill is one of them

 

[EZE]

I tell my wife "Grude morning" and her panties drop.

SOON

I had the same experience, but my wife also called her twin sister to join us.

 

[Hawkpilot]

Thank you. Good thing I didn't search for posts by GV. Would have wasted more of my time. Is GrandVol the actual screenname or is there a clever 204 behind it or or something? Seriously thank you that's all I wanted to know in the first place and wht everybody got so upset hell I want Gruden more than any of you guys

Up for debate since we don't come here for recaps

 

[Gtown RNG]

Ok . That's dumb. No time to play patty cake in this preschool,I got a life and a job. Was desperately hoping to find reason to have hope. So the threads just people trying yo be funny? Really zero substance? That's kinda pathetic

Who said we had to be sophisticated and all up in here? That’s some pretty talk you got there.

 

[chargervol]

This chit is 7-10 days old. I'm glad it's finally getting out.

In a thread filled with great posts, this was my favorite by far.

 

[FacelessArya]

Thank you. Good thing I didn't search for posts by GV. Would have wasted more of my time. Is GrandVol the actual screenname or is there a clever 204 behind it or or something? Seriously thank you that's all I wanted to know in the first place and wht everybody got so upset hell I want Gruden more than any of you guys

You want Gruden more than anyone else but you just show up now after 25+ threads, demanding answers instead of joining in or reading posts?

Nah,

 

[jabanny]

Volnation/Gruden thread = Family! Except for the trolls that want to be cool but can't. I told my wife I'm sorry for having an affair on her. She asked who it was and I said "the Gruden thread".

 

[Paukotajs]

1

Or what?
What I shared this morning will be the last that I post of anything I hear from the AD. People in here are so unappreciative. I would suggest cladinorange keep your info to yourself too.

 

[JuggernaUT_VOL]

.

 

[NapTownVol9]

You want Gruden more than anyone else but you just show up now after 25+ threads, demanding answers instead of joining in or reading posts?

Nah,

https://media2.giphy.com/media/EouEzI5bBR8uk/200w.gif[/QUOTE]

Got'em

 

[GhostVol]

So, the majority here want a coach that won a Super Bowl in his first year.

Yup..... And, it wasn't his first year in the NFL. First two years as Raiders head coach he was .500 but improvement was evident. Next two years lost in the AFC Championship game to the Ravens. Year after, lost to NE in the infamous "tuck rule" game. Go ahead, ask Gruden what he thinks of the tuck rule. You'll get an earful and he's exactly right.

Hmm, wonder who signed all that talent on the Bucs team that year?

I wonder too..... The coach would be Tony Dungy. Dungy didn't sign any of the talent he was given. No coach in the NFL does..... How many Superbowls did Dungy win with the talent he had in TB? How many did Gruden win? Yeah, thought so.....

What was his record the following year?

As I remember it, TB went all "fire-sale" after the Super Bowl win. Kinda like the Rays (or was it the Marlins) after they won the World Series.

He’s got a paltry 54% winning percentage

If you're 1-15 in your first year and 15-1 in your second your overall winning percentage is .500. That must mean you're an average coach. And, just for snark, what is TN's current coach's winning percentage? Against SEC competition. Not D1-AA competition. How many times has our current (for now) coach lost to KY? VB? SC?

Hasn’t coached any team in 10 years and UT fans are estastic <sic> about the possibilities of him coming here. Gruden develops already great QB’s, not mediocre.

See, my friend, this is where you lost your argument. Brad Johnson was not, is not, and never will be a great QB. But TB won a Superbowl with him as QB and Gruden at the helm.

It would take him 3 years to have a top QB playing in his system.

And Butch is in year 5....... How's that working out?

Just looking at the bigger picture that is all.

I'd suggest you find an even BIGGER picture to look at.... The Sistine Chapel springs to mind.

 

[fhod_dj_x]

We need a "FREAK SWEEP" soon....

I'll miss you

 

[MaTaLa]

Butch being gone publicly anytime before the Vandy game. JMO

Agreed...would be surprised.
I'm guessing just prior to Vandy game. JG announced soon after. UNLESS a miracle happens and they make a bowl game. Not sure there