The Ultimate Checklist for Hardcore VOL Fans

checklistSo yeah, we’re all fired up about the season opener. You will be there, I will be there, their going to be there. A new era, some exciting new players, and oh wow, there’s ‘energy’ . . look at you, being all collective and everything! Welcome back to the program man.

Now where is my list? Hmmm. . . .Hey I didn’t see you reading. Do you see my Game Checklist anywhere? Its on a white piece of paper, lot of scribble . . . Oh here we go. Your welcome to take a look. It is my checklist for the home opener Saturday. I’m telling you, no truer words have ever been spoken than “ITS TIME”. The wait has gotten excruciating.

Well yeah, that first one is TIVO, I mean I use the DVR on my cable box to record all games, even the PPV ones.

Of course you don’t need sunscreen for a night game. But the Western Kentucky game is a 12:21PM kickoff and its going to be 81 degrees. I am not ‘trying’ to be a ‘red’ neck.

What do you mean? I thought everyone brings a stopwatch to the game. It is so I can see how much hang time Cunningham’s getting on his punts. It does matter, we were tenth in the conference last year with a 34.9 net. He hangs the ball up in the air for 4.5+ seconds and our guys are surrounding the returner when he catches it.

Hey. . .hey, Your going to fog up the lenses looking at that. . .Give me those. These binoculars are going to zero in on some key situations. Like how Marlon Walls is holding up, I cant just go on body language. I need to see if he’s breathing hard when he in there. He missed a good part of the preseason.

Don’t eat those! That is not candy. Those are my cherry flavored throat lozenges. Yeah, well, we will see who yelling louder in the 4th quarter. I don’t care if the Big Orange is a 26 point favorite, Papa’s got a brand new bag!

Did I leave my orange ITS TIME t-shirt in the dryer? I know. Well I was just trying it out. Do I sleep in it? no I’m wearing it Saturday. What? Oh good grief. You think its funny I didn’t realize I have it on? Yeah you right, that was pretty funny.

Ahhh here we go….my trusty notebook (and two pens). Just a heads up Coach Gran, I will be taking notes on the Special Teams Saturday! I’m not being a smart-aleck. Just tell me now that we get more than 4 touchbacks on our kickoffs this season. I’m just saying.

It seems like I’m forgetting something. Noise, oh that’s the trash pick up. Hey thanks for throwing all that junk mail away that was on the counter. . . Now where are my tickets? I had them just a minute ago, right here on the coun. . . . .

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