As a counterweight to this article, may I present the All Homer All The Time (AHATT) 2015 Way-Too-Early All-SEC Nationwide All-Universe Top Coaching List, professionally assembled by a staff of hundreds (well, one plus my wife sometimes smiles at me, so that counts for two):
Pre-Season AHATT Way-Too-Early Head Coach of the Year selection: Well, it was a close one, there were several excellent candidates, but AHATT is going with Butch Jones of Tennessee as coach of 2015. Not only has Butch gathered back-to-back Top 5 recruiting classes at a school that has barely batted .500 the past few years, he has also shown incredible skill at deflecting media questions about referee performance (see: 2014 TaxSlayer Bowl halftime interview). But perhaps what sealed the deal for AHATT is how Jim McElwain described seeing Butch Jones once in the shower.
Pre-Season AHATT Offensive Coordinator of the Year selection: Mike DeBord of Tennessee is AHATT's surprise pick for this award. Surprise, because DeBord hasn't actually coached a down of game-time football yet at his new home. But perhaps not so surprising given DeBord's fashionable clothing accessories (see: pre-spring drills photo collage, as well as spring practice threads). Who'd you think we were gonna give this award to, Kiffin? Hahahahahahaha!!! ... Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!$!!!!$#!
Pre-Season AHATT Defensive Coordinator of the Year Selection: After careful consideration, AHATT chooses John Jancek as it's Way-Too-Early 2015 DC of the Year. Jancek edged out Chief, Muschamp, and other top contenders for this recognition by his stirring pleas to the Tennessee defensive unit he oversees not to turn his kid (incoming freshman walk-on QB Zac Jancek) into grape jelly.
Pre-Season AHATT Passing Game Coordinator and WR Coach of the Year Selection: AHATT chooses Zach Azzanni as it's 2015 recipient of this recognition. Not only is Zach the only SEC coach with this exact job title, he also won our hearts and votes when he was overheard on spring practice tape dropping the F bomb. Congratulations, Coach Z!
Pre-Season AHATT Associate Head Coach and DL Coach Selection: Steve Stripling gets the nod for this award, as well as the "I was bald on top before any of these other guys were bald on top" award.
Other Awardees include:
Willie Martinez -- 2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early Asst. Head Coach-Defense and DB Coach of the Year
Mark Elder -- 2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early ST Coordinator & TE Coach of the Year
Robert Gillespie -- 2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early Recruiting Coordinator & RB Coach of the Year
Don Mahoney --2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early OL Coach of the Year
Tommy Thigpen -- 2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early LB Coach of the Year
Dave Lawson -- 2015 AHATT Way-Too-Early S&C Coach of the Year
Congratulations to all these fine coaches!
We conclude his award presentation by noting that, for the first time in history, every single AHATT award has gone to coaches from the same team. It is an amazing coincidence and speaks volumes to the quality of this excellent coaching staff at Tennessee!
{there you go, feel reassured ... this list is just as valid as that other guy's list, I'm confident}