| Alabama football
Its getting serenaded with "Rocky Top" by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd tier bowl game.
It's losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to Tuscalosa and still thinking our were innocent.
It's losing 11 of 13 to UT and still thinking you're better.
It's claiming 12 national titles when the NCAA only recognizes 6.
It's making fun of other team's "half national championship," when most of the ones you claim were shared.
It's claiming a national title after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.
It's claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
5 coaches in 5 years.
2 Probations for cheating in less than 10 years.
Going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a "Bowl" game.
Moral victory after moral victory.
Biggest tradition is buying and biddin on players.
Knowing that the refs are against you.
Knowing that the NCAA is against you.
Mike Price.
It is watching you go trhough 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP, and Texas A&M
It is having your 5th choice for HC turn you down.
Its is watching Tommy Tuberville AND Phil Fulmer having as many SEC wins at Bryant-Denny as your own head coach.
It is hoping the Northern Illinois doesn't show up again to ruin homecoming.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons football scholarships.
It is sharing a home fielf with the Blazers.
It is fans proudly displaying toliet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don't know how to use either.
IT IS A MILLION DOLLAR BAND AND A TWO MILLION DOLLAR DEFENSIVE LINE.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the tigers and yelling "war eagle" when you're called the crimson tide and have an elephant walk the sidelines.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.
It is giving your head coach a contract where he can earn a bonus for winning 7 games-and the bonus remaining unpaid.
It is throwing bricks through your coach's window after a 10 win season.
It si knowing that Notre Dame's printed tshirts that said "well, at least we're not as bad as Alabama.".
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a lsing record since Jan. 1st. 2000.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligilbe player for and entire season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring head coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.
And last but not least, being the victim of a conspirarcy 15 years in the making involving Phillip Fulmer, the NCAA, the FBI and Osama Bin Laden.
As you bammers would say ROLL TIDE ROLL | 
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