Couple Of Jokes

#1
volsgal07

volsgal07

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2005
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#1
My Nana sent these to me, and I thought I'd share them!

The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying
an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from
The University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to
give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything
but my earrings."

You gotta love those Alabama women.



A senior at Alabama was overheard saying .. "when the end
of the world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Alabama
because everything happens in Alabama 20 years later than
in the rest of the civilized world.




 
#5
#5
You've got a pretty hilarious Nana!
 
#8
#8
Two fonts walk into a bar. The bartender nods, "nope, we don't serve your type in here".
 
#9
#9
volsgal07 said:
My Nana sent these to me, and I thought I'd share them!

The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying
an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from
The University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to
give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything
but my earrings."

You gotta love those Alabama women.



A senior at Alabama was overheard saying .. "when the end
of the world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Alabama
because everything happens in Alabama 20 years later than
in the rest of the civilized world.
Click to expand...

142 posts????? Since 2005?????? Why bother?????
 
#10
#10
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't go startin' anything."
 
#11
#11
Three strings go in a bar. 1st tries to order a beer. Bartender says don't serve strings. 2nd tried. Bartender says don't serve strings. Strings want to leave but 3rd one says I got this. Twists his body and messes up his hair. Orders a drink. bartender says sure youre not a string. String says nope I'm a frayed knot.
Posted via VolNation Mobile
 
#13
#13
Two antenna are on the roof. They meet, fall in love and get married.

The wedding was ok, but the reception was great.
 
#16
#16
A photon is checking in to a hotel. The lady behind the counter says "Can I get you some help with your bags?"

"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
 
#18
#18
Two atoms are sitting at a bar. One says to the other, "I just lost an electron." The other says, "are you sure?"

"I'm positive."
 
#19
#19
A guy walks into a butcher shop and tells the butcher, "I bet $10 bucks you can't get that meat off the top shelf."

"No way, the steaks are too high."
 
#24
#24
ImTheCrew said:
am i allowed to heckle?
Click to expand...

xSNN22GX3AA_384_392813a.jpg
 
#25
#25
A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

"You have a drink named Murray?"
 
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