Bammer Jokes

[checkerboard_charly]

here are a couple i found....

The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the Univ. Of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"



The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."



You gotta love those Alabama women.



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A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.



"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.



"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.



"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"



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Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Alabama was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."



When asked why, he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world.



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The young Alabaman came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"



Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"



The young Alabaman answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."



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NEWS FLASH! - Alabama's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Univ. of Alabama students crashed into a cemetery earlier today.



Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.



The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.



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An Alabama State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"


The driver replied, "'Bout whut?



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An Alabaman had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.



Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.



The man replied, "I have a flat tire."



The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"



The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."

[UTVOLFAN]

"How many Bammers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

~50....1 to screw in the lightbulb, 49 to talk about how Bear Bryant would have done it.

[volbrian]

Bama's All-American QB was told during the week leading up to the Tennessee game that if he failed a test, he wouldnt get to play. The dean made a deal with him. The Dean told him to get to play the game, he would have to answer a question, just before kickoff of the game, in front of the entire crowd at B-D Stadium.

The QB studied all week for the big test, ignoring everything except football practice.

The time finally came. A huge podium was set up on the 50 yard line and the bamatrash nation looking on anxiously.

The Dean stepped to the podium and asked the question: "WHat is 2 plus 2?"

After a few moments, a huge smile came across the QBs face and he clearly spoke into the microphone; "FOUR!"

"AWWWWW!!!!" the bamatrash fans screamed. "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"