| The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's
winners.
1 - Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2 - Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
3 - Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4 - Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5 - Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
6 - Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
7 - Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
8 - Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9 - Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
10- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
11- Glibido: All talk and no action.
12- Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
13- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.
16- And the pick of the literature: Ignoranus: A person who's both
stupid and an asshole.
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