Southern Advice for Milo

[volmanjr]

The north has sun-dried toe-mah-toes
the south has 'matersamiches

the north has coffee houses
the south has waffle houses

the north has dating services
the south has family reunions

the north has double last names
the south has double first names

the north has Ted Kennedy
the south Jesse Helms

the north has an ambulance
the south has an amalance

the north has Indy car races
the south has stock car races

the north-cream of wheat
the south - grits

the north - green salads
the south - collard greens

north-lobsters
south- crawdads

north- the rust belt
south- the Bible belt

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic 4 men in a 4-wheel drive pickup on the way home from hunt'n will be along shortly to help. Don't try to help them just stay outr of the way. This is what they live for.

Don't be suprised to find movie rentals and live bait in the same store.... don't buy food at this store.

remember y'all is singular and all y'all is plural, and all y'all's is plural possessive


Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

you may here a southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or a child, this is short for " Y'all ought not do that!" and is equivalent to saying "No!"

Don't worry if you can't understand the people around you , they don't understand what you are saing either.

Be advised that " He needed kill'n." is a valid defense here.

Ifd you here a good ol boy yell "Hey, y'all watch this," stand back, this will likely be the last words he speaks and innocent by standers have been known to "git killed" as well.

If there is even the slightest chance of snow in the forecast your presence is required at the local grocery store. Even if you don'tr need anything you just have to go!

do not be surprised to find a 10 yr old that owns his own shot gun, but don't worry they are proficient marksmen, and thier Mammas taught them how to aim.

and remember if you happen to settle in the south and have children don't think we will accept them as southerners, after all if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.


Hope this helps out when you visit to Tennessee and remember wearing Orange will always break the social tensions and never bad mouth Elvis...ever.

[Tnvolfan68]

And don't forget that soft drinks in the south

North pop
South Coke: then describe that you want sprite mountain dew or Dr. Pepper

[volmanjr]

and if you make friends with the man's dog you've made friends with the man

[OWB]

Originally posted by volmanjr@Jan 12, 2005 2:41 PM
[b] and remember if you happen to settle in the south and have children don't think we will accept them as southerners, after all if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

[milohimself]

Thanks for the guide. The trip to Nashville is on the table as a 'maybe' but I would love to go. And I will print this out and take it with me.

[milohimself]

By the way, some of the things on the list DO happen around the boonies in my area. Especially the one on "Watch this"

[volmanjr]

yeah that one is probably universal

[milohimself]

Next semester is gonna be tough!

Year 3 Japanese, Advanced Arts and Communications English, Advanced Literature Studies, Modern American History, Forensic Sciences, Tech Math (applying basic calculus to stuff like physics and statistics), Junior Health then maybe a fluff elective.

Fun times. Back to the thread