Utk

#1

vol445

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#1
I have a serious question, my daughter will be attending Utk next year..I am very happy for her but as a father have some serious concerns. She is a different person than most. The world is still made of marshmallows and lollipops to her. She still hasn't learned to drive yet. Can anyone tell me how safe the school is and if she will need to drive while on campus. Just looking for some real Intel from people who attend currently
 
#2
#2
My son did 4 years there without a car and did just fine. We were based in FL at the time and would fly him back and forth during holidays.
 
#3
#3
If she has that level of naivety still, you might want her to have a car so that she doesn't have to rely on others and fall into some wrong crowd. Might be something to consider.
 
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#4
#4
Thanks guys, I am just curious, I know every one thinks their daughter is beautiful but she really is inside and out still is very focus driven and doesn't care to have a dating life wants a real career. Just as proof of my point I was cutting limbs and she was furious I had cut her " sitting branch" or I was drinking a beer and she sai " can I tongue dip that" I said what she said I just wanna see what it taste like. She is a different kind of person and I'm worried someone or people would try to sway her although it hasn't happen yet crime wise , I know about the stuff being reported but how bad is it really.
 
#5
#5
Thanks guys, I am just curious, I know every one thinks their daughter is beautiful but she really is inside and out still is very focus driven and doesn't care to have a dating life wants a real career. Just as proof of my point I was cutting limbs and she was furious I had cut her " sitting branch" or I was drinking a beer and she sai " can I tongue dip that" I said what she said I just wanna see what it taste like. She is a different kind of person and I'm worried someone or people would try to sway her although it hasn't happen yet
Trust me. She has soaked in everything you have taught her. It will pop into her mind when confronting new situations.

Every time you talk to her, be sure to reiterate your love and availability.

They will surprise you.
 
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#6
#6
If y'all/she is religious, make sure when you take a trip to Knoxville over a weekend that you go to church at the religious center of your denomination. It'll already get that in her head. My freshman year I went to church every weekend and to the college group Wednesday nights. I enjoyed it at the time. There are also other groups that operate once a week that are based out of churches nearby. Friends of mine went every single week until graduation. They were very much supported by the parishioners and got goodie bags and all that jazz.

I say all this to ensure you that no matter what you've instilled in your daughter, there are plenty of programs around to foster those views. College has lots of bad, but it's got lots of good, too.
 
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#7
#7
If y'all/she is religious, make sure when you take a trip to Knoxville over a weekend that you go to church at the religious center of your denomination. It'll already get that in her head. My freshman year I went to church every weekend and to the college group Wednesday nights. I enjoyed it at the time. There are also other groups that operate once a week that are based out of churches nearby. Friends of mine went every single week until graduation. They were very much supported by the parishioners and got goodie bags and all that jazz.

I say all this to ensure you that no matter what you've instilled in your daughter, there are plenty of programs around to foster those views. College has lots of bad, but it's got lots of good, too.

That's huge. My dad had been my pastor my whole life, so I visited one church and it didn't feel right and I was done. I still never went wild. I probably went to a handful of parties in4 years and never drank or anything, but not establishing a church home led me down a path where I went to church maybe 5 times a year for the next 10 years.
 
#8
#8
The campus is safe. The Fort can be sketchy. However, if she's a freshman, I imagine she will be in a dorm on campus and have no need to ever venture into the Fort area.

Ad to your second question, she doesn't need a car while in school.
 
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#9
#9
It's a year away so you have plenty of time to teach your daughter how to drive even if she doesn't have her own car on campus. She'll have to learn eventually and you'll feel better knowing she has those skills while away from home should she ever find herself in a situation where she has to drive someone else's car. A drivers license will also serve as a legal form of ID which she will need sooner than later as well.
 
#10
#10
The campus is safe. The Fort can be sketchy. However, if she's a freshman, I imagine she will be in a dorm on campus and have no need to ever venture into the Fort area.

Ad to your second question, she doesn't need a car while in school.

Campuses across the country are safer for males than females and I believe Tennessee is no different. It's sad.
 
#11
#11
Been a few years since I graduated in '08 but generally speaking campus is safe. Especially is she avoids walking alone at night.

You don't need a car. I lived on campus all 4 years and walked everywhere. I did have a job and go to church off campus though, so I had my car with me.

I would recommend starting to teach her to drive now, Knoxville, especially downtown and campus, can be a busy and confusing place for a new driver to navigate.

She'll be exposed to a lot of new things, but as someone else said everything you've taught her will help her to handle any decisions she makes.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time at UT. My parents lived 8 hours away my freshman year and then moved to Europe my remaining three years, so I was forced to become pretty independent and to learn how to become my own person.
 
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#12
#12
If y'all/she is religious, make sure when you take a trip to Knoxville over a weekend that you go to church at the religious center of your denomination. It'll already get that in her head. My freshman year I went to church every weekend and to the college group Wednesday nights. I enjoyed it at the time. There are also other groups that operate once a week that are based out of churches nearby. Friends of mine went every single week until graduation. They were very much supported by the parishioners and got goodie bags and all that jazz.

I say all this to ensure you that no matter what you've instilled in your daughter, there are plenty of programs around to foster those views. College has lots of bad, but it's got lots of good, too.

^^ a lot of this

The bad thing about a school like UTK is that its big. The good thing about a school like UTK is that its big and there's a whole big group of people exactly like you.

You're daughter has to find those people and usually it isn't hard. Starting with the various religious groups on campus is a great start. Another is going thru sorority rush could help too. She might be able to find a sorority that she fits in with well.

Its hard, dad, but she is growing up and that's what college is about. Its learning to be an adult before you're an adult. She'll be fine and you'll be amazed.
 
#13
#13
My daughter is a senior this year and to my knowledge hasn't had any issues as far as safety. Encourage her to get involved with clubs, groups greek life, whatever she may be interested in. The more involved she is the happier she will be.
 
#14
#14
Sounds like a wonderful young lady. I just sent my second daughter off to college. As fathers, we want to preserve that little girl naivety but it's our job to prepare them to survive in this world without us by their side.

You have to start now. Teach her to be aware of her surrounding. Teach her the places that are most dangerous like parking lots and dark side walks. Teach her not to have her head down staring at her cell phone. There's an old saying in the self defense community: " don't go stupid places, at stupid times, doing stupid things with stupid people". Teach her all of those things now.

I don't know what your little girl wants to pursue in life but there are very few places where driving a car be an advantage. Teach her now before she leaves.

She'll always be your little girl but prepare the woman she has become to survive.
 
#15
#15
Thanks guys, I am just curious, I know every one thinks their daughter is beautiful but she really is inside and out still is very focus driven and doesn't care to have a dating life wants a real career. ....

One other thing.... I think it's great that she's focused and not interested in dating but that also means that you haven't had the opportunity to discuss how any of her dates have gone. She doesn't know what to expect from a gentleman. Take her on a date and show her. It sets the expectation high for when she is ready.
 
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#16
#16
One other thing.... I think it's great that she's focused and not interested in dating but that also means that you haven't had the opportunity to discuss how any of her dates have gone. She doesn't know what to expect from a gentleman. Take her on a date and show her. It sets the expectation high for when she is ready.

Now that's a great idea. I am teaching her to drive now she knows about self defense and what to look for. Advantage of having a dad that has 6 black belts and teaches those classes. Thanks guys all very comforting replies.
 
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#17
#17
Put her in the No Visitations Allowed Floor of the dorm. Aka Virgin Vault. Not sure which dorm it is now but it used to be Carrick. She won't need a car at least her fr year
 
#18
#18
Put her in the No Visitations Allowed Floor of the dorm. Aka Virgin Vault. Not sure which one dorm is now but it used to be Carrick. She won't need a car at least her fr year

I think they did away with separate visitation rules about 6 years ago. Maybe there's still one remaining.
 
#19
#19
What is her direction regarding schoolwork? You might try now to get her into a Learning Community. That would immerse her in a program with a full floor of students in her dorm room with interests similar to hers. That will also drastically help her as a freshman with regards to her classes.
 
#20
#20
She will be going for large animal vet. Actually I think vet at Utk then w Virginia for large animal
 
#21
#21
She will be going for large animal vet. Actually I think vet at Utk then w Virginia for large animal

Tennessee is great for large animal, I believe. How large are you talking?

Anwyay, y'all should definitely look into the CASNR learning community. That'll immerse her in a group of students she's never met, but have similar aspirations.
 
#24
#24
One other thing.... I think it's great that she's focused and not interested in dating but that also means that you haven't had the opportunity to discuss how any of her dates have gone. She doesn't know what to expect from a gentleman. Take her on a date and show her. It sets the expectation high for when she is ready.

I don't have kids at all let alone a daughter to keep me worried but I've always thought this was a really cool thing for a father to do. I have a co-worker who's daughter clearly has no idea how she should be treated by the opposite sex. And it makes sense why. There's so many sources out there in media these days that can give so many different impressions of what things should be like. One of those sources should without a doubt be dad. No one wants better for a daughter than dad.

Anyway, Just wanted to say good on ya, great advice
 
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#25
#25
Thanks I told her about the csnar thing we will check it out. She's doing vet school then wildlife vet school like the zoo animals
 

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