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About this Page -- This is a discussion on In the spirit of Bill Engvall's "here's your sign"....... within the forum The Pub. I got this in an email, and just thought it was funny... The Purina Diet I was in Wal-Mart buying ...

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Old 12-15-2006, 03:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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In the spirit of Bill Engvall's "here's your sign"......

I got this in an email, and just thought it was funny...

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Lola and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Love it!
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I about spit water out of mouth!
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Old 12-16-2006, 01:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 12-16-2006, 10:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
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If you had filmed it and talked with an accent, you could include it on Borat's DVD.
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Old 12-17-2006, 03:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That was priceless!
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Nice
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Plenty of people to give signs to out there. Funny.
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:57 AM   #9 (permalink)
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That's some funny stuff right there!
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Old 12-21-2006, 10:42 AM   #10 (permalink)
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That was great!
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