What's the dumbest thing you've ever said..

#4
#4
I think I put the icing on the cake with this Lil nugget..

Jus told Kelly I was so proud to have her, and that I was gonna reach around and give her "Big Dumper" ah' slap! LuRlz

That was a text to her mamma..
 
#8
#8
Notorious B.E.N said:
Well, what did she say?


Sounds like a good question to me.
Click to expand...

She asked if I wanted to and I said not really but I will if you want me to? It was a late night and she reminded me of the conversation the next day. I just laughed it off like I was playing. She didn't buy it...
 
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#12
#12
Whiie she was pregnant we were at the OB and she had big jump in weight one week. Trying to be funny I said "maybe you need to lay off the cheese".

Did not go over well with hormonally charges pregnant wife. I still haven't lived it down.
 
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#14
#14
I've been careful with my current wife. But my ex, always had some excuse for no sex...so one night I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water and 2 Tylenol and proceeded to the bedroom and offered her these. She asked what's that for, I said it's for your headache. She said she didn't have a headache, and I said great..let's have sex. She threw her wedding ring at me and I slept on the couch. True story.
 
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#16
#16
With my ex...

We were going at it pretty good one night and I was feeling bold. She was having a fantastic time. It was a performance to be proud of. So, feeling advantageous, I asked her if she would be open to a threesome with her best friend.

I had to finish myself.
 
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#18
#18
I say too many dumb things to count or remember, so it is easier to retell one of hers.

We were at her folks for a visit and her mom had fixed too much lunch for me to eat. Not wanting to insult the cook, I just said my appetite was low due to the travelling. My wife jumped in and explained to her mother and father "Yeah, his appetite changes, some days he hardly eats at all, other days he eats me under the table."

Long pause while we all watched her entire face and neck go beat red, then we laughed.
 
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#20
#20
Dumbest thing I've ever said was one night not long ago to my wife. I was trying to get her turned on for some frisky time and after an hour and a half she said I can't, I think I'm about ready to start my (you know what). I said is your mouth tore up. I'm still suffering for this.
 
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#21
#21
AirVol said:
I've been careful with my current wife. But my ex, always had some excuse for no sex...so one night I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water and 2 Tylenol and proceeded to the bedroom and offered her these. She asked what's that for, I said it's for your headache. She said she didn't have a headache, and I said great..let's have sex. She threw her wedding ring at me and I slept on the couch. True story.
Click to expand...

Hilarious
 
#22
#22
I once told my ex-wife the truth when she asked me if a particular outfit made her look fat.

Dumb at the time, but in hindsight it was completely worth it.
 
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#23
#23
MG1968 said:
I once told my ex-wife the truth when she asked me if a particular outfit made her look fat.

Dumb at the time, but in hindsight it was completely worth it.
Click to expand...

There's never a correct answer in that situation, though. If you say no, they think you're lying. If you say yes, they get pissed.
 
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