#Secondcivilwarletters

#2
#2
You know if people on both sides calm the hell down and just take it tongue in cheek this could turn into some seriously funny shiz
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
#4
#4
NorthDallas40 said:
You know if people on both sides calm the hell down and just take it tongue in cheek this could turn into some seriously funny shiz
Click to expand...

I’ve been sitting around the smoker and laughing at them for an hour. Both sides have some good ones.
 
#8
#8
NorthDallas40 said:
You know if people on both sides calm the hell down and just take it tongue in cheek this could turn into some seriously funny shiz
Click to expand...

No doubt. There are some really funny ones from both sides of the aisle.
 
#9
#9
We should do our own!!!

====================


My dearest wife,

We have the rebel’s pinned in their coffee shops. Their Priuses are out of charge and there are no charging stations in sight. Soon they will run out of Perrier and that last insult should break their will.

This his been a tough four hour uprising but I expect to be home for supper on time.

Your faithful red hat husband
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 5 people
#10
#10
My dearest,

Got as far as we could in the hybrid. Found a whole food on high ground, but was flanked on all sides by a Chick-fil-a, Hobby Lobby, and a Cracker Barrel.

I fear the worse as my rations of non GMO avocado toast is running low. I’ll never let them take me awake as I still have 1 emergency Ambien that I was to use on my air travels home.

About to drop a pin of my location so my commanders know where to drop the glitter bomb...
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
#11
#11
Dearest boo thang,

I hope this letter has pierced the siege camp. We've been entrenched within the microbrewery for two fortnights. The hops are running sour, but our brewers only specialize in pale ales. The taps have run nigh dry, and sobriety encroaches upon us at a rate that exceeds our will to hold out. The only beacon of light we have is that our beards have grown unruly. I hope this letter finds you in a stable wifi connection.

Regards,

Xi who loves you dearly
 
  • Like
Reactions: 12 people
#12
#12
To my dear friend Freak,

I accidentally clicked pc mode on my phone and I'm too drunk to get back to the mobile format.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8 people
#15
#15
Dear Constituents,

We made Poland '39 look like look like an endurance race at Nürburgring. Apparently words don't hurt as much as bullets, who wudda thunk it?!

Rest in pieces,

Democrats
 
#16
#16
Dearest loved one,

I hope this message finds you in a well state for whichever pronoun you choose to go by. The redhats have encircled us, and we lost a costly meme battle due to an ill timed autocorrect incident. Do not fret, the recently re-re-trained Starbucks baristas have opened up a supply line to us in our darkest hour.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
#17
#17
*SNAP*

I'm savings all these leftist posts for my cringe compilation
 

Attachments

  • 1526499905784.png
    1526499905784.png
    466.5 KB · Views: 1
#19
#19
Dear Anabelle:


There is growing concern in the infantry leadership that the leader of the red hats is some kind of alien. He appears to be an orangutan, but has opposable thumbs, albeit very small ones. I laugh now at how we always thought that an alien civilization would be more advanced than us, but it turns out that this species of alien is basically a human-shaped amoeba.


We think that the alien has assembled his red hat army by poisoning Schlitz Malt-Liquor Beer and placing his amoeba remnants on 24-hour coin operated laundry machine handles, both of which explains the largest component of his army being from the South.



Though it may be hopeless for the red hat army, I pray that the rest of the country remains educated and rational, as those seem to be the only immunities for resisting the orangutan alien.


LG1
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
#20
#20
lawgator1 said:
Dear Anabelle:


There is growing concern in the infantry leadership that the leader of the red hats is some kind of alien. He appears to be an orangutan, but has opposable thumbs, albeit very small ones. I laugh now at how we always thought that an alien civilization would be more advanced than us, but it turns out that this species of alien is basically a human-shaped amoeba.


We think that the alien has assembled his red hat army by poisoning Schlitz Malt-Liquor Beer and placing his amoeba remnants on 24-hour coin operated laundry machine handles, both of which explains the largest component of his army being from the South.



Though it may be hopeless for the red hat army, I pray that the rest of the country remains educated and rational, as those seem to be the only immunities for resisting the orangutan alien.


LG1
Click to expand...

ok I can't be the only one not to laugh at this one.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
#25
#25
My dear beloved,

Yet another day and yet another glorious victory for the cause! The pink hats continue to underestimate our leader at every turn and continue losing ground each and every time they attempt to attack. They have even gone to the extents of trying to recruit a nation we've defeated twice in our history to make a stand. Sadly, I feel our overseas cousins will not recognize the folly of their actions until it's much too late.

Our opponents hold high hopes they will be deal us a crushing defeat in November. Not realizing they likely won't even make a ripple in the pond, much less a blue wave. We try to make them see the obvious lack of a message, but they don't seem to care and stick to the "anyone but him" message.

In closing, I remember the General Patton Prayer and have changed it to the conditions we face today.

Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee, of Thy great goodness, to restrain these immoderate opponents with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair elections for November. Graciously hearken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies and establish Thy justice among men and nations.

In love

P.S. Please send pain killers, our prescription medical supplies have mysteriously disappeared.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

VN Store



Back
Top