Whuppin the children: how soon is too soon?

#1

DinkinFlicka

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#1
The AP thread kind of detailed to this and fizzled out. I noted that the extremes were as young as 6 weeks, and as old as 16 years.

What say you, VN, in that regard and, more importantly, why?

Fire away. We're hosting a party amid a rare Texas flash flood so I'm sipping Rumplemintz and praying for a draught.
 
#5
#5
Punishment is only effective for behavior modification after the child has the cognitive ability to correlate behavior and punishment or reward.
 
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#6
#6
Depends on whose rule you live under. In this new era of 'don't pray in school, don't punish kids, but imprisonment of those same undisciplined kids is totally ok', the message is clear.

Don't discipline your kid, let us (the government) do it for you. Incarceration style. At a HUGE profit.

The American Way.
 
#7
#7
That's a great question Dink....I think a swat on the behind may be justified when they're maybe a year old, but more of a hurt your feelings kind of swat versus a painful one.
 
#8
#8
My granny was sending me out for the switch when I was 6.

But, I don't agree with the "whuppin" mindset. A "spanking" isn't about the pain (unless in a HS principal's office), but about attitude adjustment. Somewhere after diapers and before school age, I would occasionally give a swat to the rear as an attention getter when needed. After that point, there are more effective ways of communicating. You can have an effective presence without trying to inflict pain. On top of it all, I remember how I felt getting my ass beat and I've seen the look in my son's face after just a swat. Neither were pleasant.
 
#10
#10
Fwiw, my dad used a belt, and my mom used a switch. The switch hurt like hell but the belt was so damn big it was like getting smacked by one of those foam pool noodle things. Always pretended like it was hell but would laugh my ass off about it with my sister.
 
#11
#11
Punishment is only effective for behavior modification after the child has the cognitive ability to correlate behavior and punishment or reward.

If anyone can argue against this, I'd like to see it.

Well said, McPun.
 
#12
#12
Fwiw, my dad used a belt, and my mom used a switch. The switch hurt like hell but the belt was so damn big it was like getting smacked by one of those foam pool noodle things. Always pretended like it was hell but would laugh my ass off about it with my sister.

Oh, and all the welts on my mind were from meth and heroin.
 
#13
#13
I agree with Mcdad as subjective as it may be, and I had the **** beaten out of me before moving out when I was 17.
 
#15
#15
I got a lot of switches and belts taken to me, but I've never used them on my kids. I've got daughters and apparently all daddies have to do with them is raise their voices.
 
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#17
#17
That's a great question Dink....I think a swat on the behind may be justified when they're maybe a year old, but more of a hurt your feelings kind of swat versus a painful one.

What could a 1 year old possibly absorb from a smack aside from a destabilizing blunt force, dude?

They can hardly walk at that point, let alone decipher right from wrong.
 
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#18
#18
I was a pretty destructive and rebellious child. I understand why I brought my parents to physical discipline.

Yeah, me too, but I still couldn't do it. Just seems like a different world now. I plan on never having kids. I'm a screwup from way back and any kid id have would probably be hell.
 
#19
#19
Anything more then a slap on the ass is unacceptable. Anything more then that is just the parent making themselves feel better. You don't need a belt or switch to make a point.
 
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#20
#20
Yeah, me too, but I still couldn't do it. Just seems like a different world now. I plan on never having kids. I'm a screwup from way back and any kid id have would probably be hell.

I really think i would be a loving, great dad. I don't think I'd pick a decent mother, however. I like em slutty and self absorbed.
 
#21
#21
What could a 1 year old possibly absorb from a smack aside from a destabilizing blunt force, dude?

They can hardly walk at that point, let alone decipher right from wrong.

On the contrary....and I said not a painful swat. I meant more if an attention getting type of swat. Plus a one year old has a diaper on that's like body armor.

How many kids you have Dink? I've got four.....all very well mannered and behaved. I can assure you at some point in time they all received a pat on the fanny, but not much more.
 
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#23
#23
Not that this has anything to do with this thread, but what if Roman Polanski had been home when the Manson family rolled up?
 
#24
#24
when my kids were toddlers they were 'slapped' on the top of their hands and scolded, then put in timeout while it was explained what the discipline was for (which they had already been told repeatedly) this timeout lasted 1 minute for each year of age. This was not necessary very many times from me, or their mother.
As my kids have grown I have had to spank them a few times, very few. I have spanked them with my hand only; and never in anger. My son is 13 and my daughter is 6. They are both very well behaved and straight "a" students with no conduct problems at school. I am blessed because i was a knucklehead as a child. I believe also that consistent expectations of behavior and having my kids in church 3 times a week are the biggest factors in this.
FWIW a sgt, major that served under my dad was talking with me when i was about 16 yrs old. His kids were the best behaved, most respectful kids i had ever been around, 5 or 6 years younger than me. I asked him what the secret was to his kids being so good and successful. He said good people were made the same way as diamonds, with steady; even pressure. That has stuck with me all my life and it effects the way i deal with my kids.
My expectations and my attitude toward them never changes. If i have a bad day at work, i dont bring it home and have a short fuse with them. If i am in a great mood, like watching the VOLS win... i dont allow them to run around crazy or get away with things they would not otherwise be allowed to do. I keep an even keel with my kids and they always know what to expect from me, and what i expect from them. It seems to work very well, though i am definitely no expert at raising kids. Just sharing what has worked for me. Sorry for the long post.
 

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