Top 25 things we wouldn't know without the movies...

#1
Brave Volunteer

Brave Volunteer

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25. All bags of groceries must contain an exposed loaf of French bread and some type of green vegetable.
24. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
21. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
20. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
19. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
18. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
17. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
16. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.
 
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#2
#2
Great list. I feel the need to add that if you're a western protagonist fighting off Indians, your 6 shooter has unlimited ammo and you never cause harm to any horses.
 
#6
#6
There are some pretty amusing tropes in there. If I were to nitpick 2 & 9 have slight issues. I think most of us here have been injured where "in the heat of battle" we didn't notice it much, or even at all. The hurting came later. As for the electric fence the point isn't to kill dinosaurs any more than it would be a horse or cow be killed by a rancher's electric fence.

A couple that get on my nerves:
If it suits the script anything is flammable if not outright explosive.

That spaceship that just flew by? It was silent, no noise at all, vacuum of space and all that jazz.

You must enter a hostile situation where you could be attacked at any time with your weapon loaded but the chamber empty. This allows you to rack the slide when, you know, it's getting serious up in here.
 
#8
#8
I think we've done this thread before but it's probably buried, and I love these type things.

Others:

1. No matter what the crime or situation, 99% of the time when someone is arrested, at least 4-5 cop cars swarm in with sirens and lights blaring, when when the cops get out they automatically draw their weapns, yell "FREEZE" and start reading the Miranda rights immediately.

2. No matter how high the jump, if you jump into a body of water/pool, you'll be fine.

3. Someone making $40K a year can afford a very spacious house/condo/apartment in places like NYC, and in good parts of town.

4. When TV families go on vacation, they do everything possible in said location in a very short amount of time.
 
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#9
#9
In the event that you are shot with an arrow, even if it only goes about an inch deep into your chest, you are stunned, frozen, and die immediately.
 
#11
#11
Check out Cinemasins on YouTube. He does a great job making fun of these stereotypes and cliches.


For anybody that has seen those videos:
This thread does not contain a lap dance. (Ding)
 
#12
#12
Couple that I want to add:
1. If you're shot the bullet will almost always pass clean through with out hitting any internal structures and magically avoiding all vital organs.


2. If you're a Star Trek character and your shirt is red you're the most expendable person in the world and will die at some point.
 
#13
#13
I wouldn't have known Forrest Gump was an All-American at Alabama and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.
 
#14
#14
I wouldn't know what computers and their operating systems actually looked like. Because apparently, by some rare an strange coincidence, every computer and OS I've ever used looks nothing like what is actually being used by Hugh Jackman and everybody else in the world.
 
#15
#15
volfan_89 said:
Couple that I want to add:
1. If you're shot the bullet will almost always pass clean through with out hitting any internal structures and magically avoiding all vital organs.


2. If you're a Star Trek character not named Scotty and your shirt is red you're the most expendable person in the world and will die at some point.
Click to expand...

Fyp.
 
#16
#16
If you're a counselor at a lakeside summer camp, never have sex with a fellow counselor in the woods.

It's possible to be turned into a newt and get better.
 
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#17
#17
No matter how fast your sports car is nor how good it handles, the black Chevy Suburban chasing you will always be just as fast and handle just as well, if not better than your sports car.
 
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#20
#20
Another addition.

If you are shooting out a security camera, it will only take one shot without aiming.
 
#21
#21
Grand Vol said:
Another addition.

If you are shooting out a security camera, it will only take one shot without aiming.
Click to expand...

Doesn't matter because the guy who is supposed to be watching the security camera that is looking directly at you is never paying attention and always focused on something else
 
#23
#23
When a major criminal is being transported, or they need to send someone to check out an area, the police/military will send far fewer people than is needed.

Also your basic solider or police officer is an idiot and/or horrible shot.
 
#24
#24
A former employee of a major company can easily hack into a system.

Hacking into a traffic control system is something that can be easily done with a laptop.
Clips of guns even when used constantly last longer than nfl football games even when shot constantly.
 
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