Top Ten Things We've Learned From Our Xbox Live Headset
10. Your Mother...
...has a long, storied, colorful, checkered past. She's corpulent and has performed innumerable sexual favors for little compensation. In the case of your opponents, she's done so for no reason other than the joy of bearing their children. Which leads to No. 9, except in the case of No. 5.
9. Your Daddy...
...was born many years after you. Anyone you encounter on Xbox Live may well be in possession of a time machine, and his shrill, preadolescent insults should be received with appropriate respect. Filial piety demands that you let him take your head off with a needlegun.
8. The Flag...
...should not be camped. Doing so is unsportsmanlike and only enrages those who are honorably attempting to capture it. One should always behave as though one's own flag is the freshly opened Ark of the Covenant and must never make the mistake of gazing upon it or its surroundings. Upon learning of the capture of one's flag, one must count 10 Mississippis before giving chase.
7. South Central...
...is in Arkansas, judging from the peculiar combinations of slang and accent you'll probably encounter. The district is known for geographic fickleness, though, and may occasionally surface anywhere from the fabled Canadas to the flowering kingdoms of the Orient.
Forums |
